to have expected a flume ride to feel the same as it did when i was a kid. FFS I go like a rocket now!

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

Yowser, I was out of control!
I nearly got flipped over. Ankles over the side the lot. And there's no brakes once you get your speed up.
Crikey, I used to enjoy them now it's quite obviously dangerous!

[EricIsMine]

Bit late to the thread, but at Wet n Wild in Orlando OH and myself had been repeat riding the Brain Wash as there were no queues. The rubber inflatable mat takes up to four people but we were riding as a two, one opposite the other (nicely balanced!). Quite a high speed ride, but great fun!

So, the attendant ask us if we mind a single rider joining us, we say "no problem" and a lady joins us who is on the larger size (I'm no skinny minny, but he was probably half as heavy again as myself). We all sit on the mat, but now we're an unbalanced 3, heading down a pitch black chute at top speed!

I though we were going to tip over at one point, but it was absolutely hilarious! Made a five minute friend of a lovely lady from New York from that flume ride too... Holiday win!

[MadamFolly]

Last time I went on a water slide it was one that ends in a massive toilet bowl and drops you in a deep pool. I didn't know which way up I was, I nearly drowned much to the mirth of my so-called mates.

That same day I was persuaded to go on the dives, bellyflopped very painfully off the bouncy dive and the high dive caused me to shriek like a three year old and released my bosom from its captive prison in front of a load of 8 year old boys

[gruffaloflaps]

when in CentreParcs many years ago my best friend and I decided to go down the outside flumes/water ride. I arrived at the bottom pool and turned around to watch for her coming around the corner. My first glimpse was of the backs of her calves and arse as she flipped over. On her way down the final slide she managed to pull off a "washing machine manoeuvre" landing with a giant splash. As she stood up her hair was totally covering her face and her tits were out, she parted her hair to reveal a completely bloody nose and a bonkers grin. It was brilliant fun!

[summerintherosegarden]

Also a bit late but had to add...

Swimming pool in France. Queue for the flume is at the bottom of a flight of stairs that takes you up to the launch site. A green light tells you when to climb the stairs. In front of me was a little girl who clearly took a heck of a lot longer to climb the stairs than I did...hence the traffic light system didn't entirely work and as I zoomed round a corner of the flume I saw her floating gently down in front of me.

I screamed - she looked back - she screamed - I managed to maneuver myself like a bobsled onto the side of the flume and passed her with the lightest of touches.

Lesson learned - never run up the flume stairs, however excited you may be.

[maristella]

Bit late to the thread but I'm crying with laughter!!

A few years back I was on holiday in the Med with DS and friends.
We went to Aqualand, at my insistence

Ds convinced me to go down a massive slide, it was soooo high up. And you had to go down on your front on a mat. All the other women demurely declined.

Obviously I beat him and the other guys from our group down, but my mat had slipped down and I was hanging onto it for dear life with my arse slightly raised (as you do). I got to the bottom of the slide and my bikini bottoms were almost to my ankles All of a sudden DS and the guys were there. DS looked really queasy and muttered 'Oh my God'; our friends kindly lead him away.... My bikini bottoms had rolled themselves so much that they took about 5 minutes of untangling, all with my arse exposed. Never again!

[Katiebeau]

Bump. Now if the force of water up your fanjo is that high would it cure a mild prolapse???? I have to redo my make up now. I look like a goth.

[bronze]

flies flumes damn phone

[bronze]

I always get stuck on flies. I'm not even overweight pah

[cluelessnchaos]

Brilliant thread, walrus out of a canon, pure genius can't say more, I'm still crying with laughter

[ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway]

Nevergargle try the Olympia pool in Dundee, they have a slide that drops you into the diving pool from a height of about 20 feet, same as the middle diving board. I used to love it as a child but really don't think I would have the bottle to try it now, but be quick because I believe the Olympia is shutting soon too.

[pixiestix]

Oh Catpuss I am weeping at "walrus out of a cannon". What a beautiful image!

[TitWillow]

maybe I imagined them after the head injuries.

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

flashing lights? not in 1987 they didn't!

[TitWillow]

Nah, Thunder tube was blue. With flashing lights and a vertical drop which hurt like hell. Sometimes you would continue straight on and smack your head on the roof before dropping down and banging your arse. Fun days.

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

The Thunder tube was basically a vertical drop with a bend at the end. Red iirc?

Reckon i'd go right through the tube before the bend these days. Maybe why they closed down.

[TitWillow]

Nevergargle the bad news is that the Rainbow slides have closed down.

Used to love them. The Sunny slide, the Rainy Run and the Thunder tube.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

My pleasure! I've actually made myself chuckle reading that back!

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom]

Catpuss I think I love you - I have just laughed til I cried at the image of you (and in my vision you look like a cast member of Cats but in tasteful pink and white stripes a la Bagpuss and in a nice lime green one piece cossie) emerging from a flume hole like Rusell Grant from his canon at Wembley on Strictly. The phrase "like a walrus from a canon" will stay with me and brighten my days forever I thank you.

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

i'm not sure at what point i said my children made me do this?
or that i went down the flume to benefit them in some way?

sometimes, things can just be fun for fun's sake.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Well wonders will never cease. I thought that if there could be at least one thread on the whole of mumsnet that could go without stick in the mud posters that have no sense of fun or humour that this one would be it.

Not for the first time I've been proven wrong.

[LivingDead]

I don't know, I was 13 when I went on holiday with my sister, I went on plenty of flume rides at the water park and am glad to know that the enema effect is not just apparent on me.

I went to the loo and managed to emit pure water from the bum hole It seemed to happen every time so I gave up on the whole water slide business.

I didn't try it again in Florida, although would be tempted if I went back.

[Megfox]

I never had a flume ride! Always looked much too risky for my liking! I don't DO risky. And I don't see why ANY parent should do something as trivial as a fairground/theme park ride if it's against their own desire, just to please their children.

God knows, we give up/do enough as parents that we shouldn't feel compelled to do what goes against the grain just so that our children can have a , 'fun,' experience. Why should we be forced into doing something so pointlessly stomach-churning and spine-wrenching as a flume ride.....?

Get REAL! Either the children do such a thing alone, or they don't do it at ALL - until they're old enough not to need a parent to accompany them.

[nightingale452]

You should try waterskiing for the ultimate enema - when you fall over it feels like the entire lake's been fired up your jaxi with a canon (note I say when, not if)