Reality in the adverts Vs real life

[chunkythighs]

None of this happens in my life.....

• Clothes come out of the washing machine both clean and ironed.
  
  *On the off chance that they are not shiny white, a complete stranger lands in your kitchen with a childrens chemistry set and tells you that you're doing it wrong. You won't scream as for some reason you kind of expected this...
  
  *All men wake up with clean shaven faces and head off to the bathroom to shave. They also like to caress the same face after the 'shave'.
  
  *Discovering that your kitchen has been flooded (helllooo limescale), you will lose the ability to let your voice and lips move in sync.
  
  *Baking with a number of children is a relaxing experience.
  
  *Children always leave a thick encrusted ring of mud after having a bath- you don't mind, in fact you just raise a quizzical eyebrow and a smirk. (After all you did insist on having a complete white room I guess).
  
  
  
  Will be adding more.

[BalloonSlayer]

This is an old advert (Lea and Perrins?)

People get dressed up in smart suits and evening dresses to go round to a friend's house to be served spaghetti bolognaise.

[Bigglewinkle]

Cats can condescendingly tell you what brand of catfood they would like, but strangely can't read...
Milk formula gives babies a protective bubble that saves them from all harm

[plupervert]

"I believe it can die. I suspect it whines for quite a while first though"

So passive protest, not passive-aggressive protest.

More advertising un-reality, then!

[twotesttickles]

I believe it can die. I suspect it whines for quite a while first though

[plupervert]

is the Nintendo DS dog like a Tamagotchi? Can it die, or protest at neglect?

[twotesttickles]

Yes absolutely getting Nintendo 3DS dogs is exactly like having a real dog. I mean, obviously having a freely shitting hand held games console can be a bit of a drag, but it's worth it so the Dogs Trust know they are getting responsible owners to rehome dogs with.

[TheGrassIsJewelled]

You can take a dog for a walk from your sofa, but this is still demanding (nintendo ds)

[plupervert]

I dunno, Miggsie, I'm bloody thrilled once I've finally finished cleaning something! Thinking of those three weeks of freedom just earned...



Tho' I am pregnant, the nesting/cleaning impulse has yet to make much impression on me!

[Columbia999]

"We're REAL lawyers". No you're not, you're that bloke who played a gangster on Eastenders and a bent copper in The Bill!

[twotesttickles]

People under 20 are constantly having dinner parties and enjoy sharing the moment with crap white wine. Whereas it is my personal belief that dinner parties are what you do when you have kids to avoid having to stare at your DH and fight the urge to stab him with your crossword pencil

[Miggsie]

After cleaning an unconscionably messy/dirty room, women have full make up, have just done their hair and don't sweat and are thrilled.

When cats want to be fed they look at your adoringly, they don't yowl continuously while sticking a paw in your mouth while you try to sleep at 5am.
After a cat is fed they roll over adoringly, they don't run into the sitting room and yak the lot up on the chair.

The only time women wear glasses is if they are advertising glasses.

All moisturisers make you look 14, this is proved by having 14 year olds model all face creams.

If you paint something, a long haired dog will sit in your lounge, not like real life where the cat falls asleep on the newly painted shelf and wakes up actually stuck to the shelf and has to be cut free with nail scissors.

Men always garden, unless it's an easy job, then the woman does it.

All people who drink alcohol are young, pretty, party all the time and can still wear high heels even when the bottle is empty.

[SummerRain]

Same here plupervert.... stupid laptop touchpad almost didn't make it to the button in time

[plupervert]

I clicked on that youtube link and had to abort quickly as the title came up, and DS was standing next to me!

[IvaNighSpare]

[plupervert]

I was thinking of this yesterday. Mopping is an affair of large swishes, with the floor conveniently clear (and in a very big room).

The reality for me yesterday was a fairly quick mop, but there was a lot of back-aching work of clearing the kitchen of bin and chairs, then sweeping, then dustpanning the sweepings... before I could mop.

I'm not going to tell you all what I used to mop, as "a woman has to preserve a few secrets."

Yeuch.

[SmethwickBelle]

If you are enjoying something you have to close your eyes.

[FagAshLill]

Does anyone remember ad? Funny as hell but reality is you child would have only stopped the tantrum because he is too busy laughing at you!

[FagAshLill]

You will smile at your puppy when it is chewing your car keys, the remote and has dragged you shopping out of the bags and dug up half the garden.

Reality is, you will swear at it, make sure the remotes are still working and consider re homing the damn animal.

[plupervert]

"charcoal filtered undies for particularly malodorous men"

Hahaha, it feels so strange to have a recommendation on a thread devoted to ripping advertising apart!

Perversely, DH would probably be more likely to go for it if I told him I discovered it through advertising than through a recommendation on you-know-what! He was very dubious about the recommendation I relayed to him the other day, about his peeing in the garden to get foxes to PISS OFF... just because it was from the Hive Mind of MN!

[twotesttickles]

Incidentally plupervert - you can get charcoal filtered undies for particularly malodorous men. Which do sort of capture and dissolve the smells.

[twotesttickles]

It's fine if your kids rub all manner of crap into their school uniforms, especially mud, blood and oil because apparently 'dirt is good' despite the fact they are down to their last school jumper and you'd rather slash your wrists than load the washing machine for the ninth time this week.

[twotesttickles]

Aw shucks plupervert, I love you too :)

[NorksAreMessy]

CLASSICS! WOOHOO :)

[captainmummy]

Oh and that advert for (i think) Dove deodorant, which promised smooth skin 7 days after shaving your underarms.
But I shave every other day.
Will i never have smooth un-irritated underarms?

[plupervert]

twotestickles, I do love you.

What a pity that men's balls are not themselves such "pillowcases"! It would be such a design coup.... if a bit disconcerting for them to have self-beheading-hydra-Venus-flytrap action going on when their drawers get a bit windy!