New MN campaign around children with special needs

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

Following on from this, um, lively thread from a couple of weeks back, we wanted to follow up on kungfupannda's excellent suggestion of an MNHQ-backed awareness-raising campaign aimed at - in kungfupannda's words - 'making it absolutely, uncompromisingly clear that in order to fully include children with severe disabilities, people might have to accept a bit of disruption once in a while.'

We were thinking about something along the lines of our We Believe You campaign on rape myths; that is to say, an ongoing awareness-raising project aimed at the general public, rather than a short-term campaign with specific policy requests attached. We would be thinking about pages on Mumsnet itself featuring the experiences of our posters, activity on our Bloggers Network, ye olde Twitter hashtagge, and any press coverage we can grab.

The suggestion on the thread was for the campaign to be called 'Tolerance is...', but we at MNHQ are a little unsure about the word 'tolerance' (which can suggest barely-contained irritation, rather than the kind of empathetic understanding and generosity of spirit we'd all like to see). So we were wondering whether something along the lines of 'This is my child' would work better?

Please feel free to use this thread to give us any feedback and ideas, and generally let us know what you think.

Thanks
MNHQ

[skratta]

Also, for See Me/look at Me, there could be something like-

Look at me. Past my wheelchair. Past my speech problems. Past your preconceptions. See me. All of me.

Or just...
Look at my disability. Then look better. Look at me .

[skratta]

So, thereonthestair-

Not Special, Just Me?

But I think, to have a name like that, facts would have to be there straight after it kind of sounds wrong.

[skratta]

Or maybe,

More Than My Disability

[Peachy]

When I worked for a national cancer charity we used the 1 in... thing a lot too, it made people realise that actually it's them, people they know- real life. Not just the other people often like to think.

Otherwise you have to be careful: the this is me get over it approach, whilst appealing to my attitude, doesn't work for many with disability who may well be struggling with a recent dx or other confidence issues: the Sn world- we're a diverse group for sure, there's no one way that's right for people to feel about themselves or approach their lives.

I'm being assessed for AS: I've felt a LOT better about how I am since getting a label, it explains so very much; but there are as many people out there who hate labels, think they are manufactured and would hate that idea.

In terms of slogan / # I always prefer the 'no child left behind' type approach or 'every child matters'- a stated aim that is also inclusive. It doesn't say you have to be happy or want a label. I'd much prefer something along those lines. Plus, if you talk about say ASD means this or CP means that- well according to my Paed 60% of disabled children in my region have no label. The best one Is saw suggested anywhere was just #inmyownright? We can always add bits- valuable, wonderful, fantastic, valid, a legend to move it forwards whilst admitting that actually the opinions and senses of self amongst disabled people and carers are as diverse as those amongst the population as a whole

[Peachy]

I do also like lookatme I have to say

[Peachy]

Also a note of caution.

If we go too far down the nothing special road- well certainly my BIL thinks 1 / 52 boys with ASD means it's now NT and not Sn and should stop qualifying for any help, financial social or educational.

My boys aren't 'nothing special', they do stand out as different: they just do. That's fine though, i'd rather embrace the difference.

#embracedifference ?

[Peachy]

Oh the Look Into My Eyes One

nice but no

If you look into DS1's eyes (autism) he will meltdown.

[WilsonFrickett]

See Me was a very successful Scottish Mental health campaign which I believe is still running so I think we should probably avoid that.

I think pictures of cute children is definitely not the way to go - how many times on here do we talk about 'not so cute when they're 30?'.

I'm liking the idea of stats more, or something clever with words. I got an envelope from cancer research today (in a mag) and it said 'Cancer won't care if you put me in the bin' - I was on the way to put it in the bin and it did make me stop and think.

Some other thoughts were:
Disability. Don't make it a dirty word.

Same. Different. Whatever. (#whatever)

And something around adjustment (which is where this all started, wasn't it?), something like 'He can't adjust his face. But you can adjust your reaction.' Will keep thinking. But def agree with pp who think it should be more hard-hitting. I wouldn't be happy with a 'bless the pretty disabled girl' type thing. (not that anyone's proposing that but you know what I mean)

[WilsonFrickett]

S'not very catchy though zzzzz

[Peachy]

Oh and YYY to adults

every child now is an adult

DS3 gets praised for being so huggy

bet they won't when the cute 9 year old is a big 38 year old

[FancyPuffin]

What about #mynameis

People so often put the disability before the child.

[skratta]

Oh yes, that's a problem!

It's already a problem when people dismiss SN as 'being naughty' or even 'lazy' which my dbro was called once. This needs to be handled carefully. I like #inmyownright because it says everything really. SN isn't NT (can't think of the right word exactly but you know what I mean), it is different for everyone, but more to the point,everyone is different, and 'everyone' includes people with SN.

[Peachy]

zzzzzzzzzz I get where youa re coming from but IME it would go like this:

'Give a child a TA...'

'what? give a child a TA? from my taxes? Maybe if their parents actually taught them how to behave the little brats..'

besides two of mine never disrupt anything, they shut down and get ignored completely instead, ds3 is in a SN School now but poor ds4 has to be carried in screaming every day as he is so scared but LEA only gave him a 5 hour pw statement :(

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello all

Thanks so much for all the input. We will try to read and properly digest it over the next few days, but you're obviously still in full flow at the moment - just wanted to let you know that we're reading it and will be back.

[hazeyjane]

I think this could be such a good thing.

Two things I want to add, just to be thought about really is -

There are many, many disabled people who have no diagnosis (I think I have seen the figure of 40 % of children with special needs with no diagnosis, but would have to find where I read that!). Or they are on the long, long road of testing, which can take years. With ds (who possibly has a rare genetic condition, but no confirmed diagnosis), I have encountered many difficulties with relation to this status of 'undiagnosed'. I think many people are unaware that is is possible to have severe disabilities but have no name for what is causing those disabilities.

The other thing is the element of fear. I think many people are terrified of the whole idea of disability (in all it's many forms), they can't bear to think about it...the idea of having a child with disabilities, or they themselves becoming disabled is so frightening, that it becomes the unthinkable and then the un-talk-aboutable. The reality is that disability is part of life, people with special needs aren't 'they', 'they' are us.

[hazeyjane]

I used to sing " this little dsname of mine I'm go an let him shine", a bastardised version of happy clappy "this little light of mine".

curse you, zzzzz, this made me blub.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'Don't make me want revenge when I am your boss!'

Saw something like this on an Aspergers website.

[hazeyjane]

Sorry, I was actually hunting back through the thread to find this

there are x% people with sn in the population, so if there aren't x% in your church, at your pool, in your cinema, in your office, in your child's class, at your party, you are part of the problem. We are the x% and we are here to stay

^^that is what i think he campaign should say.

[determinedma]

It seems impossible to agree on one particular message. What the parent of one child approves, another disagrees with. How to find a message that will speak to those who don't understand, when those who DO understand can't agree.I like " don't stare at me. See me"

[Trigglesx]

How about "Don't just look at me. SEE me."