Mums of mixed race babies

[CharIotte]

Any other mummy's of mixed race babies/ children get annoyed by constant ignorant comments

How do you deal with them? And any classics? I get the old "at least she's got a permanent tan" quite a lot

[MixedCouple]

I'm Arab and Hubby is Indian - when DS was born my side of the family made comments like oh he is light skinned like you. And now he is older and looking like his Dad the comments are on he is getting darker - like nearly daily!!!
I hate this mentality as it was an issue growing up so I am very on the defense and snap and humiliate the commentor.
It's disgusting. Even hubby's family always comment on my paleness and how I'm beautiful becuase of it. I always say to them confidently it love darker skin and I hate being so pale. They just look at me shocked. 😆

You can't change ignorant people - I just humiliate them and have a laugh winding them up

[Piemam]

Fucking hell, people are rude! I knew this anyway, but the comments above are vile. I have mixed race kids with different skin and hair tones, all of them. In fact my smallest looks nothing like me and I have been asked, as he is so pale, if he's mine. My older ones have had racism verbally, and one more so- the one with darker skin akin to mine. 🙄

[RightOnTheEdge]

My ex was South American and my dd looks just like him, brown skin, big dark eyes and hair. My ds is pale and blonde with green eyes.
A woman who lives down the street asked me if I was sure they had the same dad every time she saw us 🙄 she found it hilarious, rude cow. As if I had nothing to do with their genes.

[BadlyArrangedToasties]

What I say or do depends on my mood haha. The foreign baby lecturer got told to fuck off.

[BadlyArrangedToasties]

My kids are mixed race: white and Japanese. When I take them out on my own loads of people assume they are either a) not mine (are you the nanny/childminder) and " oh they don't look like you at all" or b) I adopted them from China. One woman got really het up and started lecturing me on "buying foreign babies". Really offensive to adoptive parents as well as multi cultural families. Oh and the "they must be really good at maths/science" Asian stereotypes...

[Penguinsmum]

I get mainly compliments on my son's lovely golden brown skin and big brown eyes but have had lots of times when people thought I was his nanny! (We live in quite an upmarket area!) As I look nothing like him!

[Purplepeg]

Fucking MIL is full of it. We used to joke how much DD had such big eyes (typical googly baby eyes) and MIL said “no she doesn’t, it’s because you have small eyes so it looks like hers are big” (I am Chinese). MIL is a narcissist though and when people compliment how beautiful DD is, she has to say “she gets it all from me”. She also goes around telling everyone my DD is a Chinese version of her son because everything has to be about her, not fully comprehending how offensive that actually sounds.

[Bunty55]

As a white mum of three mixed race children I have witnessed all sort of questions from people, and especially concerning my oldest boy as he is darker than the other two, I never thought anything about it. People are curious and ask questions about lots of things and this is one of them.
One day my oldest boy was walking home from school and a car containing Asians stopped and asked him the way in another language - they thought he was full Asian. He thought it was funny.
As for racism ..it was when they attended high school that the real trouble started and that was from other pupils, not adults asking about tans etc..

[nononoyesno]

My kids are mixed race (white/Indian) but look pretty much white.
No real experiences of racism with them but people do sometimes not realise they're mine or are surprised that they are, and similarly I've noticed little things where people assume DH and I are not a couple (subtle things which are hard to describe without sounding paranoid).
DH took DD to the dentist today who asked why she was so tanned, he explained her mum's Indian to which the dentist said 'I knew there was something' 😂 !!
Sorry to read about all those who have experienced racism towards their kids.

[Igotjelly]

My DD is mixed white Scottish and Indian (I’m white and we have nothing to do with her biological father or his family who are an utter waste of space). Because me and DH (DDs adoptive stepfather) are both white I often get funny looks and questions about whose child she is. My answer is she’s both of ours 🙄

Only comments I’ve ever had are about her tan and how hairy her wee legs are. I find people like to compare her to her blonde haired, blue eyed little sister which pisses me off no end. They’re both beautiful in their own way 😡

I am conscious that as a minority ethnic person she’ll face overt racism and institutional barriers that I never have and I do worry about how I can properly equip her with the skills to deal with that.

[Andromachehadabadday]

I am mixed race white Irish/ Indian.

My kids dad is white so the kids skin looks white. Ds looks like my dad with lighter skin. Dd looks like me, but very pale. My skin is nearer to Olive toned that actually brown. My grandad was Greek. So I look very ambiguous.

The worst comments I have had are from dads family (Indian side). Mum died last year after being with dad for 44 years and they didn’t even come to the funeral. They weren’t happy at all that dad married a white woman.

But from just people in public who ask things like ‘yeah but where are you really from’ or ‘so is your mum British, your dad’ I just ask similarly intrusive questions. ‘Where was your mum born, like exactly where? Which hospital?’ Until they click on.

With my kids I do get, ‘oh, so is their dad white?’ Or ‘oh aren’t you an exotic family’ and I usually give them a blunt ‘what do you mean? Do you mean mixed race?’

[Rover83]

A mum told me the other day that it's probably not safe to let my DS 18months have such a great a tan, she was mortified when I said thats just what he looks like, his dad is black

We've had a few 'token mixed kid' or they only have her on the team to look diverse type comments which really hurt as it takes away from their hardwork. We've had plenty of issues with people touching hair, school were great and addressed it straight away without me even mentioning it

[lunar1]

@StageRage, I got told off by a mum at swimming when ds1 was little for letting him get a tan. This was at the stage when I didn't say anything.

Her face was a delight when DH joined me on the balcony!

[TheWeeDonkey]

@StageRage

A long time ago - but I got 'fancy letting a child that young get a tan'.

And "they're very dark, aren't they?" (reply: no quite light actually, given their heritage)

I am also very unimpressed by the warbling of 'mixed race children are so beautiful'.
What, all of them? All mixes, every time? And why - are babies of either one of the races NOT beautiful? Especially the racist implication that black / Asian etc babies with some white are more beautiful than those people not mixed. It is part of the fetishisation of black people. IMO.

Ugh, yeah. I was out for a meal with DH a while back. There was a table of women nearby for what looked like a long planned get together. One of the women started talking about how she'd love a "brown baby" and kept going on about it! She spotted me and started apologising profusely, I don't know which part was most embarrassing but I couldn't get out of there quick enough.

[TheWeeDonkey]

I am mixed race, my mum is white, my dad is Jamaican, but he was not part of my life. This added another dimension to the awful racism I experienced growing up as I had no black family member to help me through it. There was also the added element off misogynistic abuse about my mother, I'm sure you can imagine.

I'm very obviously mixed race, but my son is white but with my features and it makes me sad that even with his blonde hair, blue eyes and lighter skin he has still experienced racial abuse because he has inherited my features.

I grew up feeling ugly and inferior and it wasn't really until adulthood that I started to appreciate my looks.

I think if you can raise your child to know and have pride in both sides of their heritage it can help them face the inevitable negativity they will face from others.

[StageRage]

A long time ago - but I got 'fancy letting a child that young get a tan'.

And "they're very dark, aren't they?" (reply: no quite light actually, given their heritage)

I am also very unimpressed by the warbling of 'mixed race children are so beautiful'.
What, all of them? All mixes, every time? And why - are babies of either one of the races NOT beautiful? Especially the racist implication that black / Asian etc babies with some white are more beautiful than those people not mixed. It is part of the fetishisation of black people. IMO.

[PolkaDotMankini]

My two DC look white (blonde hair, blue eyes, golden skin) but are mixed white-black Caribbean. I never get any comments until people see their dad. Then people want to know if they're the milkman's

[PerfectionValley]

I've got 3 mixed race kids and luckily never had any comments. My natural resting bitch face works wonders.

[FifiandPheli]

@NattalyBinkle That link take you through to a pretty horrific white supremacy website- I’ve reported you post and asked it to be removed - I am assuming this was a error

[Tuesdaynight]

Where do you find all these people? I've never had an issue.

[Malariahilaria]

I'm mixed race, black African and white and my mother told me stories of horrendous racism in the 1970s with people spitting on my pram in the South East. I am relatively dark and now have dc with a white man, most comments are positive but some are slightly patronising, however have had people ask if my eldest is mine as a baby because he had blonde hair. Mostly older people who probably are curious or trying to work out if I'm the nanny or not.


There is a mother on tiktok at the moment, black with a very pale baby and the comments are horrendous. She's fighting back with love and humour though which is more magnanimous than I would be.

[Maireas]

I got a lot of comments about their hair when mine were little - I have poker straight hair and theirs is very curly, so I suppose there's a contrast.
I know when I turned up on my own at parents' evenings I wasn't what some teachers expected!
I went with my husband to a parents' evening on one occasion, and a teacher kept looking from husband to me and said "I've worked out why your son looks like he does now"

[mnnewbie111]

My kids look white and I'm mixed race. I find people actually go out their way not to offend which is cute but I feel bad for them, like pretending they think they look like me when they really don't, they are the spitting imagine of their dad, but they don't want me to think they mean because I'm black and they're not

[SantoPalo]

My ds is 11 months and is half Jamaican and Indian. So far no obviously racist comments, but lots of comments about his very curly hair