Ladies I need your help, please read!

[abi89campaigningforchange]

I'm Abi and I'm starting this Campaign for better treatment of women suffering miscarriages following the lack of empathy and neglect that I experienced from my local hospital. My story is at the end of this post, if you would like to read it. Apologies for the extremely long post...

I need your help to highlight this issue - and I'm going to take it as far as I can go. I'm aware that Mumsnet have previously mentioned this subject and that they were campaigning for this at one point. I've been told that the pressure will resume around September and I hope to work with them to push this until we get a result!

Whether you have had a miscarriage or not, I hope you will want to support this cause - it's what every woman deserves.

If you've had a miscarriage that turned into an even more traumatic experience at the hands of your local hospital or whether you feel your situation was dealt with professionally and with genuine care, let me know. I want to promote these positive stories and highlight these negative ones (anonymously unless requested otherwise) so that everyone is given an acceptable level of treatment.

My aim is to take this complaint as high as it can go, to hopefully introduce a procedure and standards for hospitals to follow when dealing with women suffering miscarriages. This includes treating miscarriages as an emergency.

Below is what I believe should be standard UK practice ? it?s not asking much, just the very basics that all women deserve when suffering a miscarriage.

1)Miscarriages should be treated as an emergency. Meaning being prioritised through A&E.

2)All professionals need to be trained in compassionate and empathetic communication, they should be advised on the effects that losing a baby has on women and therefore would be less likely to cause any upset.

3)Appropriate waiting/treatment rooms ? that?s not in the Children?s ward, or the Anti-natal clinic. Women suffering a miscarriage or a suspected miscarriage should be separated from pregnant women having routine checks, and from women wishing to terminate their unwanted pregnancy.

4)Scans should be given to all women suspecting a miscarriage the same day. Portable scanning units with trained staff should be available in all A&E departments.

5)Every woman should be entitled to choose how she wishes her miscarriage to conclude ? by surgery, through medication to start things off, or naturally. These options should be fully explained with timescales, what they involve and risks by trained professionals.

6)Waiting times for medical or surgical management of a confirmed miscarriage for those who choose it should be within a reasonable time scale of 1-2 days to reduce the risk of the trauma of going through a natural miscarriage.

7)Patients having a miscarriage at hospital should be kept regularly informed ? what is happening, what to expect next, what the hospital is going to do for them. (The staff should also know this!)

8)Medical jargon should be more sensitively renamed - not to refer to the miscarriage as a spontaneous/missed ABORTION, and Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception are both insensitive.

9)More information and advice to be given after the miscarriage regarding both the physical and emotional side ? councelling to be routinely offered with an initial appointment arranged within 2 weeks of the miscarriage if wanted by the patient.

10)A follow-up reassurance scan to be given to all women before 6 weeks after the miscarriage for piece of mind and to confirm that there are no further complications.

11)A histology conducted by the hospital should include the option of a sex test as this can help with the grieving process ? even if it an option that requires additional payment ? and the results of the histology should be givin within 6 weeks of the miscarriage for closure. (understandably this would depend on the products of the miscarriage and the stage of the pregnancy).

12)Further blood tests should be routine ? including those for chlamydia/lupus, antiphospholid syndrome and blood clotting disorders.

13)Options for the disposal of the baby/foetus should be provided, it should not be treated as ?clinical waste? and should not just be ?routinely disposed of?.

14)Having to ring around to cancel your own pregnancy related appointments shouldn?t be necessary, it should be automatically done

Please help by joining my facebook page (below) and supporting this group by posting your comments and stories. A miscarriage is so much of a traumatic experience without having to deal with knowing you didn't receive the best possible care. Help make sure that this doesn't happen to anyone else.

"CAMPAIGN FOR UK STANDARDS ON THE TREATMENT OF MISCARRIAGES"
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=237985745071&ref=mf#/group.php?gid=237985745071&ref=search

Thank You

Abi XxXxX

. I lost my baby at 16 weeks ago when I was 12 weeks pregnant.

I'm posting this hoping for as many replies as possible following a complaint I made to my local hospital. Basically I received some of the poorest care possible.

I went into hospital on a Tuesday with bleeding and was told that I wouldn't be able to have a scan until Friday unless I was "Bleeding to death" - that's a quote.
On Wednesday I booked in for an emergency scan with a different hospital which told me that my baby had no heartbeat and had died at 7 weeks 5 days. I was told I could go into hospital on the Saturday to take the tablet to empty my womb, however on the Thursday I went into labour. When I arrived at A&E I was told to wait for 3 1/2 hours in the A&E waiting room with other patients and it wasn't until I lost a lot of blood in one go that they put me in a bed (IN THE CHILDREN'S WARD!!!).

After waiting for around 10-15 minutes for pain relief I was given morphene and the pain of my contractions lessened (My other half had to demand pain relief 3 times from nurses and found 4 of them in the corridor having a chat when he could hear me screaming from where they were). However one nurse stood me up to wipe the blood away after thinking that my contractions had finished and that was when my baby was born - when I think of my baby now I don't think about the scan pictures that I have, the mental image I have is of my baby hitting the floor.

Eventually I was transfered to a different hospital as no one could deal with me there (after being there for around 5-6 hours, surely they would have known that when I got there?!). My baby was taken away for a histology and I was kept in over night at the other hospital.

I asked a nurse to know the sex of my baby to which I was told "I'm sure that can be arranged" - to give me some closure and to help me grieve, 14 weeks after my miscarriage I was given the result of the histology and this test wasn't done. I would have paid privately to know as it was important to me. Now I'll never know and I'm struggling to cope mentally.

After 2 months of feeling that something wasn't right with me I have finally had a scan on my uterus that has told me that my left ovary is abnormal which has left me in a further state of depression.

I am still suffering depression and anxiety following the way I was dealt with - I have had trouble grieving for my baby due to my ongoing complaint as I have had no closure.

After complaining to the hospital about my situation and the lack of care and empathy from staff I now have a meeting this coming Tuesday 4th August with the Modern Matron and the Operational Service Manager to discuss my complaint. By doing this I aim my complaint to go further to establish a nationwide agreed proceedure on how women are dealt with when suffering a miscarriage, ie I want it to be treated as an emergency (it's not a broken arm or leg afterall) - and I want a scan to be given to all women before 6 weeks after their miscarriage for the piece of mind that everything is back to normal - and if it's not at least it's better to know sooner rather than later as things can hopefully be done to make it right. I would also like for women to officially be given the option of a sex test during the histology (obviously this depends on how far along the pregnancy was, and whether it is actually possible to conduct one on the products of the miscarriage) even if it means having to pay for one, as long as the option is given.

I would really appreciate anyone who has suffered any sort of neglect at hospital relating to a miscarriage to post a reply on here. Even if you received brilliant care infact, that you think should be made standard, I want to take your story (anonymous of course) with me to this meeting, and again to people higher up until something is done to lessen the pain, stress and anxiety of going through such a traumatic and upsetting ordeal.

Please help me in my aim to obtain better treatment for women suffering a miscarriage by posting a reply here or on my Facebook group "Campaign for UK standards on the treatment of miscarriages", pass the message to your family and friends too if they have any stories.

Thank You

Abi XxXxX

[rosietoes]

Hi Abi,
So sorry to hear your story.
Very good campaign. I wonder if the NCT or Tommy's would be good advocates to contact for change in treatment during miscarriage?

[rosietoes]

Meant as groups to join your campaign

[mathanxiety]

I'd like to add, after having a D&C that was delayed for many hours and eventually having it around 7 pm one evening, that even if you have a miscarriage related surgical procedure that's classified as outpatient, you still get to stay overnight if you're going to end up otherwise being discharged at a late hour from the hosp? And hosp would be required to provide you with (at the very least) underwear in case yours were too bloody to wear home. Had this experience, which was complicated enormously by stupid (now)exDh not understanding (despite my phone call to him) that he should bring clean panties and skirt for me to wear home. The appalling nurse in charge of discharging me shrugged her shoulders and obviously didn't care when it became obvious that I would have nothing to wear home at 11:55 pm. I got to the car wearing a paper gown wrapped around me with a sanitary pad wedged between my legs, not stuck to anything. Wanted to kill someone, especially DH, but hosp staff were next on my list.

[HeadFairy]

Hi Abi,

So sorry to hear about the terrible treatment you received and the awful trauma you've had to go through. I'm so glad the tumour is not cancerous, I hope you get the cremation for your baby you wish for.

I tried to join your Facebook campaign, but it doesn't want to let me. I'm not sure if it's just Facebook being rubbish, but it says the link is incorrect. I will keep trying though as I think this is such a worthy campaign.

I'd like to add my experience of mcs. I had two back to back ones, both at 6 weeks. Both times I was treated with the most fantastic compassion and care. I was able to walk in to the EPU at St Georges Hospital, Tooting, SW London without an appt. They offer scanning for anyone under 14 weeks pregnant, they will see anyone who's worried, anxiety is considered a totally acceptible reason for needing a scan.

As the clinic is self referral, you do have to sit and wait, however, I have never had to wait more than about 30 mins from checking in. The staff are lovely, the midwife doing the scanning explained everything fully, was happy to take time to answer any questions I had.

I went to the EPU each time knowing pretty much that I had miscarried, as I'd had heavy bleeding and my scans were to confirm the mc was complete. I lost both my babies at home, so I dealt with their remains myself. I didn't ask for testing, as I feel each time the mc was down to my age (I'm 39 now, was 38 at the time) however after my second mc my GP was happy to do a cd21 progesterone test and a few other bloods to start the ball rolling and rule out any immediately obvious cause (I had full blood count, liver function and kidney function checks, thyroid check among others, they took 7 vials of blood!) The staff at the EPU were happy to answer any of my questions over the phone too, after I'd got my blood results back, and were very reassuring about my future chances of getting pg again.

My only complaint about St George's is that the waiting room for the EPU is in the same place as the antenatal clinic. I was pretty much ok, I knew I'd miscarried, I'd done my crying at home and felt emotionally alright. However I did see several women sobbing quietly while sitting in the waiting room, obviously horribly distressed to be so upset in front of a room full of strangers and pregnant women. I appreciate the hospital do as much as they can, and resources are limited, however, the waiting room at George's is huge, so it really wouldn't be difficult to create a seperate area for women who are miscarrying.

The other thing was having to cancel my routine scans which despite being told this would be done on my behalf, weren't, as I received a letter a week after my mc confirming the date of my scan. When I rang up to cancel it, I was rather abruptly asked why. When I said it was because I'd miscarried, they didn't apologise, or express any sympathy, just said ok. That could have been dealt with better.

It's a shame the EPU doesn't have the funding to be open all day long, they are only open from 8am to 11am, each time I've had a mc I've known I was miscarrying, so I took myself along during those hours. My first mc happened at a weekend, and after chatting to my sister (who'd had an mc the year before) I decided not to go in to A&E over the weekend as I knew there would be no one there to scan me, and I faced a long wait. I suppose I just felt the mc was inevitable, I couldn't do anything to stop it (to be honest the pregnancy didn't feel right from the start) so waiting until Monday morning wasn't going to change anything. However, if I'd been really distressed, losing lots of blood, or in terrible pain, I wouldn't have wanted to have to face A&E.

There is a happy ending to my story, after two back to back mcs (with only one af in between) I'm now 22 weeks pg with a little girl.

Good luck with your campaign... I'll definitely sign your petition when it's active. Please come on and link to it when it's up and running.

[rosietoes]

Oh HeadFairy, I'm so happy you have a happy ending!
Glad you wrote about Facebook petition not working. I'm ready to sign.

I went to St Mary's Paddington EPU and they were great. Very sympathetic staff.

A&E wasn't so good. Finally was admitted at 3.30am (at Christmastime). I asked them to turn off festive flashing lights on nurses' station in ward. Just wanted to sleep and weep in peace. They acted like I was Scrooge.

One thing to add to the bad treatment regarding MC is having to send back the NHS Maternity Health Card. Can't you just turn it in at GP surgery or a chemist? Getting envelope, stamp, posting it back. Ouch. Been through enough already.

[ttalloo]

Abi, I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles, and so impressed that you are turning such a horrible event in your life to good use for every woman unlucky enough to go through an MC.

I've had two MCs, and the care I received in both cases left a lot to be desired. The first was at 8 weeks, after two weeks of intermittent bleeding. I went to see the midwife at the GP's practice twice; she was unsympathetic and on the second visit told me not to come again until after I'd had my 12-week scan because, if I was miscarrying, there was nothing she could do about it. I went for a scan at 7 weeks at the EPU at Chase Farm Hospital in Enfield; there was a heartbeat, but a week later the bleeding intensified and was accompanied by incredible pain. DH took me to A&E at Chase Farm, where I waited for a couple of hours for a gynaecologist to see me (running to the loo every so often to let out big rushes of blood); the gynaecologist unhelpfully said that he'd seen women with more blood and pain than me go on to have healthy babies, and it was best if I went home because we should just wait and see what happened. Within 5 minutes of arriving at home I had what I now realise was a massive contraction and passed my baby into the loo. I then spent the next week in bed crying, enduring horrendous contractions and pain, none of which I'd been prepared for. I went back for another scan in the New Year (all this happened over Christmas), which confirmed that there was no longer a baby. To cap it all, a month later an MW left a message with the secretary at work asking me to call her back at the EPU (thereby breaking my confidentiality), and when I rang her back, she demanded to know why I hadn't attended my 12-week scan. How was I supposed to know that there is no internal communication at Chase Farm?

My second MC happened at 10.5 weeks; I started bleeding and bolted straight for the EPU (this time I knew there was no point messing around with midwives and appointments), where I was seen as an emergency. The nurses were lovely and very kind when they told me that I had an anembryonic pregnancy, and that my body had only just realised that there hadn't been a baby there almost since conception. They booked me in for a D&C the next day, which in the end I didn't have because they were too busy. I spent the entire day waiting, unfed and unwatered, until 7.30 in the evening when they gave me two pieces of toast and a cup of tea and told me that I'd have the D&C the following day. There was no follow-up care after the D&C, so when my first period a month later lasted for 3 weeks, with blood clots, and gushes of blood that flooded my clothes in seconds, I had no one to turn to. My GP told me I had an infection and gave me antibiotics, the hospital didn't want to know unless the blood clots were the size of my fist (they were only walnut-sized), and I just knew there was something wrong. So I saw a Harley Street gynaecologist privately, who scanned me and said that the D&C had removed almost nothing, and unless I had another one I would not conceive again. I had a second D&C done privately by him, and I just wish that I had had the courage and energy to complain to Chase Farm about their botched D&C and lousy aftercare. Instead I sank into a depression for about a year, which I only came out of when I found out that I was pregnant for the third time.

I am now lucky enough to have two beautiful DSs, who have helped me come to terms with losing the two babies who came before them, but I will never forget the absolute panic and horror of realising that there is something terribly wrong with my baby, and knowing that there is nothing at all that I can do about it.

[abi89campaigningforchange]

Hi Ladies

Just a quick update: I submitted the petition on 7th of September for approval and now we're just waiting for it to be published online (although I have to say it's taking longer than I hoped for!)

As soon as it's up I'll let you know

I hope everyone is ok, at least when the petition is up we can feel like we're doing something to make a change. It's so hard knowing that the lack of UK standards is leading to poor health care during this difficult time, and with any luck the government will see that and introduce a new standard of care for all hospitals to abide by.

Fingers Crossed

Abi XxXxX

[abi89campaigningforchange]

Here's the link!

petitions.number10.gov.uk/miscarriage-care/

Please sign it, and please spread the word!

Thank You

Abi XxXxX

[kktpj]

i woke on the gynae ward on fri after d n c op for my missed miscarriage to the sound of a crying new born. my husband fairly sure it was child of a member of staff.