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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Advice first miscarriage

39 replies

Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 17:12

I honestly don't know what to write!

I have wave like mild contractions. I don't get period pain so can't compare. I didn't get far in labour before a c section but what I did have wasn't too painful. More like waves of intense pressure. Some thick dark blood with clots but am passing in the loo (but that often happens with periods).

We don't talk about this kind of thing enough for me to know what on earth is going on!

OP posts:

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Nikkih1977 · 18/04/2017 00:35

I really hope you're doing ok , it can be a very scary time, nobody tells you what to expect do they . I miscarried at home on march 18th and all I've felt since is anger , still feel angry and irritable most days , I'm not sure if it's the miscarriage or something else , can anybody relate to this ? X

Ekphrasis · 10/04/2017 09:29

It's a separate ward. I think it's just near where women get hysterectomies etc. The pregnancy ward and birthing ward are elsewhere.

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Ekphrasis · 10/04/2017 09:27

Sorry to hear that Wolfe.

It's at the EPU; I was offered a follow up scan last Monday. The hospital said to see how symptoms were and give them a ring on Tuesday.

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Enelya · 10/04/2017 08:14

You could always phone the EPU if you are concerned about your symptoms. I had no doubt I'd passed the sac (although at the time I had no idea that's what it was or that that would happen because no one talks about these things) and my labour type pains slowed and stopped after that.

Do you know where you will be scanned? I just want to mention that I was scanned in the clinic with the pregnant women and it was another real low point in my experience.

Wolfiefan · 09/04/2017 21:13

I'm so sorry this has happened OP. I get what you mean about having a bad feeling. I had a mmc then my son. When I fell pg again I found out not long before Christmas. I saw the GP and asked what I should do if it went wrong over Christmas. It did. Christmas bloody eve.
Take care OP and be kind to yourself.

Ekphrasis · 09/04/2017 21:08

Thank you! Don't apologise, I've been quite surprised. I seem to go up and down and definitely did too much on Friday. Taken it very easy this weekend and no work next week.

I do know my iron was really good (ferritin 130) before pregnancy as it has been an issue in the past so hopefully not too much of a drop and have started my iron raising 'thing' (I find if I cut out milk for a month it goes up quite quickly plus pregnacare).

The pain has been taking me by surprise, more like labour pains and really tires me, dizzy etc and lasting a few hours. But then it goes for a good few hours and I'm ok.

Sorry Tmi, I've been worrying I haven't actually passed it as I don't remember anything particularly large but I did have a scan booked on Weds so will see and discuss with them.

But thank you, you've been so helpful and I'm so sorry for your losses.

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ForeverHopeful21 · 09/04/2017 19:58

You might feel a little off for a while yet. I had mild cramps and bleeding for a week, followed by spotting for 5 days, but everyone is different.

I was put on bed rest for 2 weeks by the doctor at the hospital after my MC. I'm not a bed-rest kind of person so only managed 2 days, but I can totally see why this was recommended - you'll have lost a lot of blood in a short amount of time and your hormones will be all over.
I'm now anaemic following the MC so I was absolutely exhausted for around 2 weeks ...sleeping 11 hours a night and struggling to do much at all during the day. It been 5 weeks now and I'm just about back to my usual self (physically).
Be kind to yourself x

Enelya · 09/04/2017 19:20

Sorry I was without my phone a few days!

I felt exhausted for a week and run down for a few months. I should have taken an iron replacement but failure to take vitamins is one of the more bizarre aspects of my depression/anxiety issues. A more sensible person would take spatone or floradix for a while!

Try not to walk too far either, easier said than done when you already have dc

Hope you have picked up a bit xx

Ekphrasis · 07/04/2017 20:00

Hi again.

I've had some pain all day, more than yesterday but not obviously terrible and bleeding is very pale. I'm sure it's normal but how long does the exhaustion last? I felt ok this morning but clearly over did it.

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Ekphrasis · 06/04/2017 10:33

I know, and I sadly know 3 women who had to terminate after 20 weeks due to huge issues so I don't feel in any way this is a hard as that, not trying to be brave, just know that it's so common and I do think this was relatively mild compared to a later mc or one that was on course for dates. I went to the ward expecting it to get so much worse and the worst was over.

I'm so lucky with my son and so many other things in life. I'd felt there something wrong from the start. So it feels ok. And I know more about some medical advice bits for next time. I'm pretty sure I'll have a good cry at some point soon but that's ok too.

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Enelya · 06/04/2017 10:05

Of course it's fine!

It is incredibly unlikely that it was anything you have or haven't done. It's just a sad fact that mc rates run at around 1 in 3 pregnancies. It doesn't mean it isn't sad, and traumatic, but it is incredibly common. From where I'm sat I can see two other people who have had mc, and then me, and we all have 2 or 3 healthy children. My baby's due date was the 1 year anniversary of my mc, and she is now a bouncing 1yr old.

Some of us really struggled post mc, some bounced back really quick. Neither is right or wrong!

Ekphrasis · 06/04/2017 09:33

I'm not feeling much to be honest? Is that bad? It was awful on Monday. I thought I was responsible as there's been some difficulty getting the thyroxine right. But that happened with my son and he was fine. I'm an older mother so to be expected I guess.

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Enelya · 06/04/2017 08:27

I hope you feel ok this morning, I just wanted to let you know that however you feel, that's ok. Just roll with it, and if it does get harder, seek help.

Xx

Ekphrasis · 06/04/2017 07:29

Thanks nova, that's what they wanted to check. They were so supportive, the service was outstanding. It was so quiet at that time.

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NovaArt3mis · 06/04/2017 05:47

Glad the worst of it is over. I ended up in hospital because the sac was blocking the neck of the womb and I pretty much felt like death.

I felt exactly the same, finding out at my scan there wasn't a heartbeat hit me hard. The actual mc was four days later and I didn't feel weepy just wanted it to be over.

The next little while will be tough, but be kind to yourself and know that it does get easier as time goes by.

Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 23:43

Thank you so much for being there. They are brilliant here. The ward was quiet and they checked to see if anything was stuck but I think the worst was around 6-8pm and it was easing as I went in. Still some pain but not bad.

I can't believe I didn't soak one pad. I just kept feeling like I needed the loo. So I don't think I really understood how bad it was till it was mostly over.

I'm mostly relieved but thankfully have a day to myself tomorrow should it hit me. I think though, the hardest day was Monday as the baby was so much smaller than it should have been; this has been a relief.

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Enelya · 05/04/2017 22:20

Sorry to hear that, hope you get well looked after xx

Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 21:56

I called for advice and they said come on.

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Enelya · 05/04/2017 20:50

If you feel better at home, and it doesn't get more than 1 pad an hour, stick with that xx

Sending you best wishes xx

Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 20:47

Actually yes I've thought of options. Hopefully won't come to that.

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Enelya · 05/04/2017 20:35

It wouldn't be so bad if you could go straight to the ward, a&e was horrible. Also I was in shock as i had no inkling anything was wrong. I couldn't have driven either.

Would any of your single Mum friends have granny's close by, so granny could go to them and they could come to you?

Or bring their dc over for impromptu sleep over?

Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 20:31

I'm sorry to hear that. I've an amazing mummy friend but she's single now, and thinking about another colleague, she's also a single mum. Best friend now an hours drive away and the other is in South America. Wracking brains!

I think I could go to the ward if it's really bad; I have 24 hour access, certainly 24 hour phone access. I think it's part of the maternity ward.

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Enelya · 05/04/2017 20:25

I had to go in alone at first and I don't recommend it. I was examined in a&e by a dr with little English and it was very distressing. I would call on any favour you can think of, any local mums you know?

But if you have to go alone we'll be here with you x

Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 20:24

Thanks nova. I think I prefer home though I hope I don't have a clingon visiting me in the night.

This thread is really helping.

I can't really explain why but I'm finding this a huge relief. I've felt something wasn't right since pretty much the start of the pregnancy. I've no idea why I felt that. Just a gut feeling. I had no real symptoms unlike with ds. And then to find out it wasn't growing on Monday was a shock.

I may feel different tomorrow I guess.

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Ekphrasis · 05/04/2017 20:20

Thanks en it's logistics I'm thinking of. My dh will have to stay with him as there's no-one we can really call on during the night. He's in nursery tomorrow.

I feel bad for dh as he's had a really special day at work, looks like his project will get a prestigious award. He's also useless with anything remotely medical. But excellent at sourcing chocolate.

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