How much blood loss can I expect?

[novemberchild]

Hi, all.

I'm sorry if this is upsetting.

I began bleeding at roughly 11 weeks and got the news on Friday morning that they couldn't find my baby's heartbeat. There were questions around proper growth for some time and apparently he looked more like a 6 week baby than almost 12.

I have left things to happen naturally and have had bright red bleeding for several days, contraction-like cramps, and last night passed a clot of tissue about 1.5 cm across. All my symptoms have gone, no sickness, no cravings, breasts still sore but going back to normal.

Is this all I can expect? Or can I expect things to get worse? I am not sure the baby was big enough for a lot of blood and clots but I expected more than this.

I am sorry if this sounds awful and morbid, but I need to know. I am working in retail and I am never going to get time off so close to Xmas, so I feel a bit desperate. If I could have had medical management, I would have but now I don't really know what to do for the best.

[sianihedgehog]

November: sometimes your body is confused and tries to stay pregnant. That's what happened to me. It's not very dangerous, getting an infection is unusual, you needn't worry, but if you do feel at all ill, tell a doc asap. Sometimes your body reabsorbs some of it, sometimes it can take a long time before the miscarriage finishes. The surgery was really fine, don't be afraid of it. I had no pain except period pains after and just felt a bit tired and delicate. I was signed off work for a week but went back early. They may give you medicine to kick-start the miscarriage instead - in my area they let you choose.

[twinklexx]

I don't know much about it as I only know what happened to me. Were you given any advice by the hospital or your gp about what is going to happen over the next few days?
You may have to Google for more symptoms of infection but I was told any unpleasant smell or a fever and I was to seek medical help asap.
You will feel better but it will take time

[novemberchild]

Why would the bleeding stop, if the sac was still in there? Should I worry?

Does it come out with time? I'm scared I will get an infection and end up having to have a hysterectomy :(

[RoTo72]

Hi. It's a very scary time. My situation was just like urs. I was 12 weeks but baby measured 6 weeks and no heartbeat. I opted for surgery after a dew days of light bleeding but bad contraction like cramps. Glad I did as my cervix was still closed and it could have gone on for another few weeks. The surgery went v smoothly and I was home recovering within hrs. Only had light spotting for about a week after. Its the emotional healing that will take much longer.

[novemberchild]

Thank you x

It helps a lot that other people have reached out and told me what happened to them. It is very isolating.

DH is very depressed now. He does blame himself. I have tried to tell him otherwise, but he is very low.

I had a scan yesterday. It showed what seemed to be the sac, that had come away from the wall of my uterus. The bleeding and pain have subsided, though, so I don't know what will happen in the next few days. I hope it doesn't get complicated. I really don't want to end up in surgery.

[twinklexx]

I mc at 11 weeks, bled a lot and had lots of clots. Some of them were the size of my fist! It's possible you may not pass a recognisable sac. I didn't and was told that's not unusual. My first mc I had very light bleeding and it barely affected me.
Not only will the hormones be affecting you but you are grieving as well. so you need to take time to process what's happened.
There is no evidence stress contributes to a mc and it's not your dh's fault that this happened.
I would second speaking to your gp as they will be able to help you.
You will be able to do this again

[sianihedgehog]

You'll feel a bit better in a few weeks when your hormones settle again, but speak to your gp about how you are feeling - you may be able to get a referral for counselling or therapy to work through your feelings about your husband and about the miscarriage. And maybe consider contacting these folks: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/how-we-can-help/
I lost my first pregnancy at 11 weeks (although I didn't miscarry fully and had surgical management a month later) and I found that the hormones really knocked me down. It was awful. However, it is really very common, and doesn't mean you can't have a child in future or anything. You will recover from this, and you can build something good again.

[novemberchild]

Thank you Racquel...it is appreciated. I feel so bloody lonely and isolated. My husband cheated on me, and now this. I am wondering what I did in a past life to deserve it all.

Bleeding is worse. More clots. Confused and completely messed up. How does anyone ever get over this? This baby was everything to me, my hope, my future, my reason for carrying on when my heart was crushed. I can't put up the Christmas tree, even. My husband has tried to talk to me about sorting out our relationship but all I feel is hate and anger towards him, though it is probably unlikely it was caused by stress. I just don't know what to do with myself any more.

[RacquelWelsh]

Pmd you..

[LyndaNotLinda]

Doesn't sound awful at all.

[novemberchild]

Sorry, this sounds so awful to ask but now I know the baby is gone, I just want to get it over with. I'm scared something awful will happen while I am at work, and I can't tell anyone about this or take time off because I may need my job very badly in the future - major marriage issues.

[LyndaNotLinda]

That was the only clot type thing I passed. So I assume that's what it was

[novemberchild]

How can I tell if it was the sac? :(

[LyndaNotLinda]

So sorry you're going through this OP. I think I bled really badly (miscarried at 14 weeks) for 3 or 4 days. It didn't stop immediately after I passed the foetal sac but it became a bit more like a normal period.