8+5 and no heartbeat - I now need to decide what to do

[iamlouie]

Hi everyone, this is my first time on here, but I could do with some advice. After bleeding heavily I went for an early scan this morning where I found out there was no longer a heartbeat (all fine 2 weeks ago). I left very upset with 3 options 1) wait for a natural miscarriage 2) tablets 3) d&c. I know noone can tell me what's best for me, but I was initially thinking that if I took the tablets, at least I would know when it would happen. Then reading through some of these posts it makes me very nervous knowing how painful and lengthy the process could be. This is my first every pregnancy. Any stories / advice would be appreciated x

[AliBingo]

I am so sorry to hear that, you must be devastated.

I haven't been in your position but I did have to have a termination for medical reasons back in March at 16 weeks and so I took the tablets. The pain wasn't too bad but it did take a few hours to pass the pregnancy.

Friend's sister had a blighted ovum and she had a D&C and got pregnant shortly after, she now has two sons (age 2 and 1).

I would have liked the option of D&C if it had been allowed (I was too far along) but obviously the choice is very personal and you have to do what suits you.

Thinking of you at this difficult time. Take care.

[SconeInSixtySeconds]

Iam, so so sorry to hear your news :(

With my previous miscarriages I waited for them to happen naturally, but I think it is very hard to advise someone else.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time and space to grieve for your baby. I will be thinking of you.xx

[jimijack]

Hi, so sorry this has happened to you.
I have waited for natural miscarriage in the past and it was 5 weeks before anything happened. Don't mind telling you, the wait was torture.
I have also taken the tablets, much quicker but very painful. I had strong painkillers prescribed. (I've had lots of miscarriages)
I would definitely recommend that you ask for these as paracetamol may not touch the pain.
Take time off work, have good people around you and give yourself lots of time to recover.
All the best x

[Daisybell1]

I'm really sorry for your loss.

My hospital offered me all 3 options, but advised that D&C could be the best for me as I live an hour from A&E if the bleeding became heavy. If I took the tablets then they would admit me as a day patient.

I've had 2 d&cs now - the first was fine, the second I felt really rough and had to stay overnight. But in both cases the bleeding afterwards was very light.

Take care, and make sure you take plenty of time off - with my 3rd MC my dr signed me off for a month without even seeing me.

[Purplefrogshoe]

I'm so sorry, I've had 3 mc, 1st time I opted to wait and mc naturally but after 3 weeks I had virtually no bleeding i had the ERPC, was fine no pain and at least the waiting was over, 2nd two times I opted straight away for ERPC, I just wanted the physical part to be over quickly, it's a hard decision to make, take care xx

[thruthewisteria]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation with my first pregnancy. I opted for the EPRC as I wanted it over as quickly as possible. I had a later pregnancy which mc naturally at a similar stage and I found this more shocking to deal with as I saw the remains of the pregnancy when it was passed. I found this hard to cope with, so would chose the EPRC if it happened again.
Do look after yourself xx

[frutilla]

Really so sorry to read this. I am going through a miscarriage now, pregnancy ended at 6 weeks, found out at 8 weeks, bleeding only started a week ago at 11 weeks so it's been a long wait and I'm still waiting.
My doc wasn't keen on me having an ERPC and prescribed me misoprostol on Friday as scan showed sac still there, but I haven't filled the prescription and am going to wait another couple of weeks and reassess. Sorry that's not much help, but each situation is so different. Maybe wait a little while, I do think natural is easier on the body, or if you can't handle the wait, maybe go for an ERPC. I've read horrible stories about the misoprostol which have scared me off it.
I had a D&C 6 years ago and recovery time was quick. I got pregnant again soon after and now have 2 DS's. Wishing you all the best. x

[fatasbutter]

I'm so sorry to hear you're having to go through this - it is awful and I think the shock was the worst for me, at least for my first mc - I took the tablets and I wasn't in much pain at all but ended up back at the hospital with heavy bleeding - paracetamol got me though it but the bleeding gave me fright although it did quickly settle after they gave me the 2nd tablet.

For my 2nd mmc I had an erpc and it was scary waiting for the op but over in a flash with only very minimal bleeding after - I would say I found tht the least traumatic, but of course these procedures do carry a potential risk - it is a hard decision and you must give yourself plenty of time to grieve afterwards too (even if others might seem to feel you have had a long time!)

[bassingtonffrench]

I've just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks after bleeding and after a scan showed no heartbeat. i was not offered tablets or ERPC and went home to miscarry naturally. its been fine and I've been mostly able to carry on as normal. i have given birth twice so that might mean my uterus is a bit more efficient at ejecting stuff. I was also alarmed by some of the stories on here but just to let you know some people obviously have it 'easier' than others. I have a scan next week to check everythings gone. hope things work out for you.

[Umamipaste]

Hi, sorry for what's happened iamlouie. I went for an early scan at 8 weeks a fortnight ago (first pregnancy) and was told that there was no heartbeat. I opted to have an ERPC with local anaesthetic, but had to wait a week for a free slot to have it. Worst week ever, but with hindsight it probably helped me start coming to terms with the emotional side of the loss.

I was petrified during the week that I would miscarry naturally, and was relieved to make it to the ERPC which was carried out by a very competent consultant at UCLH. I had very little bleeding or cramping post procedure, although a bit more on days 4-7 afterwards, it's now stopped completely.

The ERPC itself wasn't painful, but the little balloon thing they'd inserted to open up my cervix on the morning of the procedure hadn't really worked, so when they had to get in through my cervix it was pretty uncomfortable (worse if you've never had kids, reminded me of having my coil fitted). I'd probably opt for a GA if I have to go through it again, although the nurse, midwife and consultant were amazing and very kind, and my partner was there throughout to hold my hand.

I hope it goes as smoothly for you, whichever option you decide to go for.

[chlo4563]

Hello, im also new to posting on forums! I'm sorry to hear about your loss, i have also gone through the same thing. I started to bleed at 12 weeks, had a scan and found no heartbeat. Also my first pregnancy and being a 'younger' mummy to be i found the choice really hard.

2 days ago, i went ahead to have a D&C, i feel as this was the best choice for me. Although i was frightened
I bled for two weeks before discovering the baby had no heartbeat and i felt my body would take a long time to naturally miscarry, and in all honestly i didn't want to be waiting for the time to come when my body discards of everything.
It was pain free, and i came around from the op within 30 mins and was home within hour and half. I had no pain, and bleeding was very minimal although i was told i could bleed a week or so after. Now, as hard as it sounds both me and my partner can move on, and hopefully try again within the next few months!

i wish you all the best, in which option you choose. X

[GirlsGotInk85]

I also went through this in December. I chose to have the tablets, unfortunately for me this resulted in massive blood loss which I was lucky to survive from. I ended up with an emergency d & c and a 3 pint blood transfusion. This apparently is extremely rare but I think if you go for a d & c it is done in a more controlled way and you are in the best place if complications arise. Wishing you well x

[iamlouie]

Thank you for all your advice. It gives me comfort that everyone on here is so honest and kind. I opted for the tablets in the end, as I didn't eant to go under genetal anaesthetic (only option) so will update once it's all over x