i am seeing a guy who is 9 years younger than me. i have a 3 year old daughter. my boyfriend likes kids and is really good with her but he is worried that he is too young to become a 'step-dad'. he's just turned 24.
my daughters father is involved and he and our daughter have a great relationship. he is very hands on. he and i haven't always got on but have had a course of counselling and things have improved. my boyfriend was aware of (and daunted by, to some extent) these problems also.
my boyfriend and i have split twice over the issue of him feeling overwhelmed by being in a relationship with a single mum. we just got back together because we really love each other but i sense he is still worrying, and he is open about the fact that he is stressed about it.
i have explained that he does not have to act like her dad. he likes her a lot and understands that me and her are a package deal. we try not to do everything as a threesome but sometimes it's unavoidable. often it is him who suggests days out with her. i think he really enjoys being a positive role model, and is always teaching her things. she really likes him.
i think he is just worried he may leave one day to be a young man with no responsibilities and that it will affect her. he is worried about the commitment- he wants me to be happy.
i love him so much but i worry about this all the time. i don't want him to leave but i think one day it'll all get too much for him.
some people say i need a more mature man but i think he is very grown up for his age and it is obvious he is in love with me. he is so attentive and loving. i have been with guys who are my age and they have been dismissive of my situation and of me.
i guess i just need to see what people think about this, and if anyone has any ideas about how to make this situation easier.
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my (younger) boyfriend confused over his role
emsk · 26/11/2009 13:48
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