Hello to all of you
I am feeling very low because even though it it a big milestone my son starting school in September, when he is 4 and a half, he has two inductions over the coming week and then a parents questions session in addition.
I am feeling very low about it all because although I invited my ex to go to one of them he hasn't made a decision about it, to be honest I think he has forgotten.
He sees our son regularly based on a very confusing rota system involving weekends which vary from one month to the next, I try and get the weekend dates two months in advance so I have something to go on but it is never every other one or whatever, like some people have. However of course at least he does see our son and Joshua always comes home happy, and he has taken care of well enough.
The reason I am so upset is because I live in a really sleepy small town and I used to live in London for 25 years and now I have moved to a really boring place in between Derby and Nottingham. I have been up here one year and I am pretty miserable. I know two people in this town but they are not single parents so they don't understand any of my issues etc.
I have lived up here a year and really don't like this neighbourhood, it is a very insular place and Joshua, although he gets on well at nursery, he never has any friends to play with outside nursery hours. The neighbour for example regularly has her grandchildren over and would never think to invite them round, I did hint one day when I first got here but nothing came of it, and I don't see why I should bother to invite them over when they are there to visit their grandparents and that is the sole purpose of their visit so I don't see the point of trying to suggest that.
Forgive the rambling but I have visions of many happy familie/couples attending the school inductions and me and Joshua feeling on the fringe as usual. I can't imagine how I am going to feel tomorrow when I take him down there, to be honest I am now coming to dread it i.e. facing all those people with their extended networks etc. It is not a town with any outsiders in hardly probably 2 per cent of us or something! I tend to try and mix in places like Nottingham and other parts when I get the chance to get out and join in with activities etc.
I just can't believe my life is so shitty that when I come back tomorrow afternoon after the school induction I won't even have a single person in my life, despite 45 years on the planet, who will bother to enquire how the induction went, nor next week's ones either, I will just have to battle on with it and deal with it all on my own.
Normally I would spend a time chatting on the 'phone talking to my ex about it for a bit of moral support. However he was quite horrid Sunday evening, sometimes he gets very verbal (he has an anger management issue) and it is best avoiding him at times when he is like this. I am sick of relying on him to turn to for support simply because I have no family. My parents are dead and I am an only child, my cousins are all a lot older than me and I am only in telephone contact with one of them the others are a waste of time, long story. However I know she means well and she will ring me in a few weeks so that is at least one person who will bother.
I just can't take seeing others with their family package all gathered round, this happens a lot at the nursery too, I feel so out of it, I feel a total outsider and I just hate it here so so much. I would love to move back to the south of England again in a year or two absolute latest once I find a boyfriend from the south up here! There are a few of us up here, I joined a Buddhist group, you can meet a lot of nice people that way so there is some hope, it is quite diverse i.e. people come from different countries and different parts of England to the group, you can meet people there. I am quite open as a person to join in with groups you see, it is just this particular situation that is stressing me.
I only really have two friends up here in all this time. I just feel I am getting nowhere with my life.
Any thoughts as I am in bits over it all, any suggestions as to how to cope with the school inductions?
Thanks for reading this to anybody who took the time and trouble to do so and look forward to any comments if you can think of any!
Cheers.
chattysoul x
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
Lone parents
My son has his school induction tomorrow and we have no family/friendship support
7 replies
chattysoul · 08/07/2009 20:58
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.