Any positive stories of single parents who have got together with people who don't have children?

[Pinkchampagne]

I have been with my new partner a year now, and have developed very strong feelings for him. I have two boys, and he has always said this isn't an issue for him at all. The boys have met him quite a few times, been out for a day with us, been round friends with us, and last week we took them round his parents for the first time. Most time we spend together is when the boys are with their dad, as we only get to see each other a couple of times a week due to living in different towns & him working nights all week, and it is nice to have some time out. I am lucky in that their dad sees them a lot, so I have this opportunity.

I worry so much about our future though, as his lifestyle is pretty stress free, with just a little dog to worry about. My children can be hard work & I worry our relationship couldn't work out long term.

I think this has all come to the surface of my mind, as my sister said a couple of days back, "do you ever wonder why he is with you - a harrassed mother of two?!"
I guess she has a point, and it has made me think.

I was cautious of developing feelings at the beginning of our relationship, but now that has happened, I can't bear the thought of it all going wrong.

[citylover]

Thanks both. NDH your story is really great and encouraging. Does your P have children of his own?

yes I am go with flow and trust instincts kind of girl on the whole.

Would be happy being single but do like the company of men and regular sex (not with many men LOL, can't do that, but with one regular man)

Salsmum yes am sure anyone listening to how my kids talk to me would not be impressed!!

[salsmum]

hi

i met my partner 3 yrs ago and moved in fairly quickly. she has 2 children, 19 & 24. at 1st the 24 yr old lived away but has now returned home with girlfriend. the 19 yr old is boarding but at home weekends. i get on fine with them apart from the way they talk to their mother which borders on the obnoxious! she says she ignores it but i can`t. it will be difficult but more times than not it works. so be prepared for some difficult times but mostly good times.

[citylover]

anyone any ideas?

Does anyone think that with the 'right' guy issues that I have mentioned such as hardly being able to see them alone (at the beginning) would not stand in the way of progression.

I always thought that I would not introduce anyone to DCs for ages but given my circumstances how could that really be avoided.

[citylover]

sorry am having an emotional meltdown today fuelled by too little sleep.

It all seems so difficult added to the fact that exH never has DSs for a full weekend (he has gone on holiday at the moment) and refuses to have them overnight on a school night.

How can I build any relationship on that basis?

[citylover]

Can I ask a sort of 'tangent' question here?

I was talking on phone to a potential date (have on/off relatioship with an exbf but decided I should dip my toe in the dating arena while he makes up his mind/appears/disappears) last night and he said he hated football (has no kids).

Hmmm I thought to myself how the hell would that work with 2 DSs who are crazy about football and I am quite partial to it myself.

Also I am very scared about the prospect of living with anyone again because of my terrible marriage.

Funnily enough though I could see it all working with the exbf, prob because he is familiar and used to kids.

Why can't things just work out for once!!

[Boysboysboys]

My brother married his DP 3 years ago, she has a (now) 14 year old daughter. He wanted to adopt his SD but she didn't want to. They now have a 1 year old and are very happy. His SD is one of our family now!

[Alexa808]

generalization, sry

[Alexa808]

Hello caprica and PC, yes it is a geberalisation, but founded on observations of guys I know and two good friends who are single Mums and have mates who are lone parents, too. Hardly critical mass, I know, but you see what I mean. Of course there are selfish, spoilt single Mums, too, just like we all come in different shapes and sizes. Generally I find my 2 friends have just learnt a lot earlier what it means to fight your own corner, to live with the responsibility of caring for a child/or more and they are more willing to compromise and happier to potter around by themselves rather than follow the herd.

Speaking of Single Mums who got it together with a single, carefree man: Mette Marit of Norway comes to mind. I know, I know, a 'celeb', well but a true life story nonoetheless. He could have had anyone, but he wanted only her, a single Mum and by no means a bitchy rich heiress.

[Pinkchampagne]

He is lovely. Not sure about the ready made family, but he accepts I have children & is fine with that. He is pretty special, and I hope all works out.

[casbie]

"as my sister said a couple of days back, "do you ever wonder why he is with you - a harrassed mother of two?!"
I guess she has a point, and it has made me think."

sounds like your sister is jealous!

some guys are just waiting to have a readymade family and settle down. he sounds like he's lovely.

good luck!

[casbie]

"as my sister said a couple of days back, "do you ever wonder why he is with you - a harrassed mother of two?!"
I guess she has a point, and it has made me think."

sounds like your sister is jealous!

some guys are just waiting to have a readymade family and settle down. he sounds like he's lovely.

good luck!

[citronella]

Everything what Spandex said plus my childhood friend did this. Married a woman with a 5 year old dd. They had 2 dc of their own, he adopted her dd and they have lived happily ever after. They celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary this year.
Just live it as it comes.

[Pinkchampagne]

I'm liking your post too, Alexa808!

[Alexa808]

There's more to a woman than her kids. Women are so versatile, they're not just mums. Your man sees and recognizes you as an individual and he thinks you're a very fine one. He's with you because he loves you, enjoys spending time with you and is generally smitten with you. Mum or not, aren't we all harassed from time to time? He can see beyond that and kids or no kids is not an issue as he wants PC and PC comes with kids, so it's full envelope. I actually think that being a single mum is very fanciable for quite a few guys: these women are not spoilt or selfish, are experienced, have learnt to compromise and juggle it all on their shoulders. Most are self-assured and independant and good fun because they're not anal down to a T and clingy. What's not to like. I think your sis shouldn't say that to you. Most likely she's just jealous. Good luck!

[fortyplus]

My brother (tall dark & handsome and unattached) met his wife and her 5 year old dd in 1992.

They married a year later and had my nephew another year after that.

They're very happy, increasingly affluent and my brother's dsd has just given birth to a baby boy, having moved in with her dp last year.

How's that for a happy ending?

[Pinkchampagne]

I second that, FO. I met my DP at a time I really wasn't looking/expecting to meet anyone. We first met 8 months before we first dated. We were both out having Christmas drinks with friends - I had been separated 6 months, but was still living with ex H while waiting for house sale to complete.

I bumped into him & his friend while on my way to the toilet! We got chatting after his friend stopped me, and discovered we had both recently ended our marriages (he separated in the March, and I separated in the June), the difference being that I had two children, which I told him about there & then. He asked if I fancied going out sometime, but as I was still living with ex H, I didn't think it appropriate to go out dating. He seemed such a nice bloke, and rather attractive, so felt the need to give him my phone number though!!

We text for just over a month (just friendly texts), but it was difficult as I was still living with ex H & we were going through lots trying to sort the whole house situation etc, so he left it for me to contact him if ever I wanted to, once things were more sorted. He said he had doubts he would hear from me again.

I moved in the May, and around the end of June, I text him (along with my other contacts) my new mobile number. He got straight back to me, and we exchanged the odd friendly text for the next 6 weeks or so before he asked me out for a drink last August...the 12th was our first date, so we recently celebrated our first year anniversary! He is the lovliest man & I feel very lucky to have met him. (making myself vomit here, so shall stop!!)

[FeelingOld]

Arwen - I met my new fella in a coffee shop, he sat on the table next to me and my friend and she vaguely knew him and spoke to him but she had to leave early and we got chatting and we have been together since. You will meet someone when you least expect it.

[arwen]

Bit of a hijack but I am just wondering where you meet all these lovely blokes? I have been on my own with ds 6 and dd 4 for nearly 3 years and am convinced I am inviisible to all males. Have tried dating websites but can't seem to get up much enthusiasm to have email convos.
Any tips? Re OP listen to all the wise women and ignore your sister (and from the sounds of it the rest of your family where your dp is concerend!)

[Pinkchampagne]

Those breathers are so important, aren't they?!
I am lucky in that my ex sees the boys quite a lot. I really take my hat off to those of you who do it totally alone & rarely get any time out.