Teens up all night and sleeping all day

[calmfig]

Just wondering how many other parents are experiencing their teens staying up all night talking to their friends, watching tv, gaming etc and then waking up very late in the day? The lockdown has done this to mine and as much as I try and get them into a routine it's just not working and they have been completely thrown off and I can't help feel it's very unhealthy. They seem fine with it but as a parent I cant help feel it's unhealthy mentally and physically

[Runnerduck34]

Yes same here, they are becoming nocturnal and i hate it and feel its bad for them. I am WFH and try and wake them around 10:30 only to get my head bitten off, i go back an hour later and generally they are back asleep, if they are up and awake before lunchtime i count it as a win! They will find it really hard when school reopens. My year 11 has no work set by school, my year 8 child supposedly has 3 hours of work set a day but it's more like 30-60 minutes. Ive pretty much given up on my 19 year old ( furloughed apprentice) and my 20 year old( uni student)

[moomoogalicious]

I make sure Dd 13 and ds15 get up each morning. Dd18 does her own thing. At the moment she's nocturnal - she eats one meal a day with us and does her chores so that's fine by me.

[ineedaholidaynow]

DS(15) has a live timetable for school and plenty of homework, so doesn't have a choice to become nocturnal.

[Starlightstarbright1]

There is a big difference between a 13 year old and a 17- 19 year old...

My 13 year old has to get up.. I am a childminder and they would disturb him..

He stayed up for his birthday weekend with friends online.. My Sleep was disturbed till he went to sleep, this would not happen night after night.

I really don't see sleeping all day is great for anyone's MH...

These kids that are up all night are they doing nothing in the house? nothing as a family? One of the things about lockdown I have enjoyed is the fun random things we have done that we never get round to or don't even think about., I do think his self confidence has increased- partly due to no school pressure but from the other things he does.

He cooked tea tonight- Menu was dictated by food tech recipe but he enjoyed it., he helped mend househols items with me...He couldn't do this in bed.

[calmfig]

@poolsofsunshine I most definitely will, thank you

[Blankscreen]

Dss is currently nocturnal.

Up all night and waking up at about 3 pm most days.

It annoyed me at first but now I figure he had nothing to get up for let him just enjoy himself which is what dh said all along. Apparently all.his friends are the same. He won't be going to college until September and we will gradually get him back on track for then.

[calmfig]

@Sodamncold Thank you so much! Although his sleep pattern has shifted a lot he is getting a good amount of hours in, 9 hours.
The rest of the information you sent over is really informative and I will most definitely go through it with him. Thanks again {flowers}

[Sodamncold]

Op it’s really not good your epileptic son is existing like this.

Sleep is absolutely critical to managing epilepsy effectively and the life he is living - is not helping.

The following from epilepsy.org. Advising exercise, sun and unplugging electronics before bed

** Unplug. Turn off electronics an hour before bed. Studies have shown that the blue light emitted out of electronic devices (such as smart phones, tablets, laptops, and televisions) can affect the sleep-inducing hormone, melatonin. These devices can also overstimulate people and make it harder to wind down and go to sleep.
Get some sun. Exposure to sunlight during the day can also jump start the production of melatonin.
Pay attention to the room environment. Keep the bedroom dark, quiet, and cool for the best sleep. A room temperature between 60–67 degrees Fahrenheit is usually best for a good night’s rest. Fans or humidifiers can create white noise and be soothing.
Create a sleep-friendly bedroom. Get a comfortable mattress and pillow. Some people prefer firm mattresses and pillows, while others prefer softer bedding. Try several mattresses and pillows out at the store to see which type suits you better. Keep televisions, computers, video games, and other electronic equipment out of the bedroom. Try to limit the use of the bed for sleeping and eliminate distractions.
Get plenty of exercise during the day. Exercise helps combat stress and feelings of restlessness. However, exercising too close to bedtime can make it more difficult to fall asleep. Exercise should be completed at least three hours before bedtime.**

[calmfig]

@Sodamncold Thank you for the link, I will definitely keep this in mind.
I have purchased a really good all round supplement for myself and the kids during these times too, too cover all bases.

[Bubbletrouble43]

*this

[Bubbletrouble43]

Why didn't I want to hear her clumping around after 11pm? Because I had to get up around 6 to go to work and needed my sleep. I also thought at her age she should be learning to be considerate of living with others and their needs. I do see that thus lockdown is a different scenario. Everyone's different and needs to do what they need to to get through.

[poolsofsunshine]

I work with young adults (18-30ish) who are all now effectively furloughed from a sheltered workplace. At first we let them all do as they please as they would at weekends, but mental health issues, self harm, conflict and withdrawal behaviour were spiralling. We initiated a brunch from 8-11am and programme of activities (choice of educational or creative/ board or card games or sport or household chores) from 11-2pm and heavily encourage eating together in the evening and it's really helped.

Obviously not everyone needs that but total lack of any routine for weeks and months is bad for a lot of people's mental health.

Older teens obviously needs less parental control/ involvement than young teens, and if your children seem mentally and physically well then no need to intervene, just keep an eye on their mental and physical health.

[cornersteps]

Remove the wifi and turn off the electricity .

[Sodamncold]

Op
Worth researching epilepsy in more detail and lifestyle factors. If I were you, I’d be encouraging a day time walk at the very least

www.epilepsy.com/article/2017/10/vitamin-d-and-seizure-control

[cornersteps]

Thank you all for replying! Mine are 17 and 19.

Mine are as well OP. The older has been up in the morning and decorating. The younger has slept most days and been up most nights. I'm not worried at all. It will pass.

[cornersteps]

It is unhealthy

It's temporary and not remotely damaging to health.

And they will really struggle when lockdown eases and they have external expectations on them

Will they? They are teenagers not bloody monkeys. They know what is going on. They know this is temporary.


Plus shit for other members of the house

What difference does it make to other people?

[ArnoldBee]

My DSD 12 and my DS 7 we are leaving to their own rhythms. We cant see any point in making them get up etc as there is no point. Their lives are normally so full of rules anyway. As our primary school says mental health is more important than Maths. We only ask that they keep their rooms tidy.

[calmfig]

Thank you all for replying! Mine are 17 and 19. I will cook for them twice a day and when I'm asleep they sort themselves out. I do try and have it so we have one meal together but even that is like pulling teeth sometimes.
Very good point someone made about it being like jet lag once life gets back to normal.
Definitely seems like my two aren't unusual after all.
I don't think it's helped that during this lockdown one of my children has had two seizures, diagnosed with epilepsy and is now on medication and the other anaemic. They are my world and I just want to do whatever I can to keep them well both physically and mentally.

[OhCantThinkOfANewName]

DDs are having school zooms somewhere between 11.30am - 3pm. We’re having family dinner around 7pm... and we expect them to be quieter after 10.30pm as dh is up at 4am for work (key worker). They have to walk the dog at some point too.

So whilst I love getting up early and having a routine I realise they don’t. However there are some things that are set so they can’t completely flip their day.

[NotOneToShoutOut]

DC is 17 and does what he wants. Some nights he is asleep by 9pm some nights 6am.

Depends if he has a lesson in the morning.

[Thighmageddon]

Remove the wifi and turn off the electricity

Why would I turn the electricity off?

And I'm not doing either of your suggestions, we're all getting through this however we can and I'm not dictating to my teen ds that he has to get up early and sit with me whilst watching tv because I've lost all motivation due to being furloughed.

[poolsofsunshine]

What age teens? 13 and 14 is completely different to 17 and 18...

I wouldn't allow my 14 and 12 year olds to do that, and they have no personal electronics after 8:30pm at weekends, 7:30pm in the week (only TV in the family room is available).

They're in bed by 9pm Sunday to Thursday even during lockdown and I wake them up at 7:30am, although 14 year old has an agreement she can sleep another hour if she wants, then finish her school day an hour later too, and we do a school day 8am to 12 noon (or sometimes 9-1).

However those rules wouldn't work for older teens obviously.

[Hairdowntohisknees]

Turn off the electricity? is that a joke?

[Myfanwyprice]

Today, he woke up around 11 and we had brunch together, and will have dinner at 6ish, other days he’s slept later and had something then and dinner later.

I’m really trying not to stress about eating/sleeping patterns, as long as he’s healthy and happy then that’s enough for now. Lockdown is hard, I’m not going to make it harder by nagging teens to stick to a routine.

[Hairdowntohisknees]

Why bubble?