how to move on?

[gem1984]

I'm a sngle mu and in the area i live i dont have much family or friends as i moved to the area not knowing anyone. some ppl wud say it was stupid to move somewhere where u dont know anybody bt the place i used to live wasnt the best place to bring up a child.

now i'm wantin to move on with my life, meet someone new bt how can u possibly do that when i dont know anyone who is available to babysit so it means i cant get out and i dont trust meeting men on internet (had a bad experience)

so what are my other options or am i destined now to be on my own for the rest of my ife????

[gem1984]

Hey samsmumlou, i have met up with a few mums of netmums and they have been really sucessful and ive made some nice friends, i'm just really struggling to find a man to meet up with. the internet dating isnot going all that well for me. i' in halifax.
what happened with ur LO father?

[SamsMumLou]

Hi Gem was asking as read another thread about your LO father and mine is similar story. What area do you live in? Is there any meet-ups on here you could go to?

[Judy1234]

The internet dating web sites have a huge numbers of people feeling just like you at this time of the year. I was reading an article in the FT about it the other night. Try that stuff.

[gem1984]

Hi, still same old same old. same s**t different year. Sorry if that sound epressing but xmas an new year are a horrible time when ur alone.

[SamsMumLou]

Hi Gem - how are things?

[kikki]

Hi gem1984
I am in exactly the same situation. The few friends I do have either have family or new partners to look after their children or the fathers of their kids have them every other weekend and one night a week, so they are free to socialise. My undarling husband doesn't bother with his son and I don't trust him to care for him properly anyway and I have no family in UK(all live in the States). I am not working at the moment and unless I accept an offer from a weirdo a bus stop I don't think I will ever meet anyone.
I haven't contacted Gingerbread before - does anyone recommend it?

[fizzo]

Where do you live? I agree with vanilla milkshake though, groups are a great place to meet other mums

[cath28]

awwwww gem it must be so hard for you. i hope you are ok. i'd be cautious about the internet; i've had a lot of mixed experiences myself. there are happy endings like yours happyatlast but also a lot of fruitcakes out there who want to take advantage of lonely vulnerable single mums (talking from personal experience here)! i'd agree with you vanilla about meeting other mums; except where i live i find it hard to meet other single mums, so i get a bit sick of hearing about other people's darling husbands / partners, makes me feel a bit low sometimes. but yes gem you need to meet people who can become friends or at least acquaintances and create a social circle. it is tough but you are not destined to be on your own for the rest of your life; if 1984 is when you were born, you've got a long life ahead of you! good luck with it all.

[happyatlast]

Just to say, I met my bf on the internet and yes I had a few bad experiences on there too but what I ended up doing is if I liked someones picture on the internet who had messaged me, I would chat with them on msn but only if they had a webcam so I could see what they really looked like, then I would also get them to call me so I could listen to them and work out if they sounded like a nerd or just plain stupid. Only a few ever actually got to a date, cos most didnt have a webcam or when I met them the majority were too young and stupid, I am 32 but I look young for my age so I attracted young guys but they just arent worth the hassle, they accepted my kids, that wasnt the problem, they were just into stupid head games and immature basically.

My bf now, well hes fantastic, hes 8 months older than me, I spoke to him on msn via webcam first, then I spoke to him on the phone, then met up with him and have been with him ever since, he is quite possibly the nicest, most sexiest (ex-footballer!!) man I've ever met and is absolutely fantastic in the bedroom might I add!!. He is brilliant with my kids, he has a daughter too but my kids adore him. So I know I've gone on a bit here but I would say give the internet another go, and just take the precautions that I did, I'm sure you'll find someone nice eventually. Good luck.

[VanillaMilkshake]

Just a suggestion - but why not try going out and meeting people as a mum so that you at least develop a social circle. Not sure how old your DC is but if a toddler are there any groups you could join?

Then as things progress nights out can be arranged with babysitters from amoung your new friends.

My mum was a single parent and she got a lot of support - and I got friends through the single parent charity Gingerbread. Have you looked at anything like this?

Good luck!