Move to London or Tunbridge Wells with 2 daughters?

[Hellenhellen]

Hi mums

I will be moving from Turkey to the UK with my two daughters, who are 8 and 12 years old.

I lived in London for 12 years before moving to Istanbul. I was single then, and life was good in London.
Now, with the kids, I need some advice.

My 12-year-old has some English, but 8 year old can’t speak much. I am considering state schools to start with and try for 11+ and 13+ exams for grammar for both kids. Possibly private education from year 10/11 year onwards.

I have a close friend who lives in Royal Tunbridge Wells, so I considered that area. There is Bennett Memorial - a Christian school with great GCSE and A-level results. However, we’re not Christian, so I’m worried about being left out even if they could get a place in the non-Christian category. There is also Skinner's Kent Academy, a non-religious state school, "good" by Ofstead.

I lived in Beckenham, Bromley, and Dulwich between 2002 and 2012, and I liked Bromley most.

My primary motivation for moving to the UK is education. However, I want to be in a nice society where I can have friends, play tennis, go for walks, and have some parks, maybe Riverside and a shopping center when it is cold and wet. With all this, I considered Kingston to be a good area, and good schools are in Ham and Twickenham. However, I don’t know this area as I don’t know Royal Tunbridge Wells.

I am a white-collar worker working from home on a contract, and I may need to work in the long term. I will be away from my husband, who will be staying in Turkey, and he will try to visit us as much as he can.

It is a tough decision; my initial question is, would you prefer London versus Royal Tunbridge Wells? I don’t want kids to feel singled out one day andn’t have their father around. Also, I want to be able to socialize. At the same time, living in London is more costly, meaning less housing quality. I plan to rent a flat, and my budget will be around £2500.- 3000 at the max.

I look forward to your opinions, Mom. Thank you so much in advance.

[UneasyMe]

If you liked Bromley, I’d move back there. Bit more multicultural than Tunbridge Wells. Good schools, inc grammars.

[1960swhatshappened]

Tunbridge Wells is a great town for teenagers. Schools are good.Plus the grammar schools .There are people in Tunbridge Wells from so many different backgrounds etc.
London is 50 mins on the train .
Shopping centre is rubbish though, but the high street and pantiles are lovely .

[Crikeyalmighty]

Personally with that budget I would go to Kingston-it's got the river, good social opportunities , good shopping centre and good schools and whilst not massively diverse is diverse enough for your DCs to fit in.

[LIZS]

Given the ages of your dc you won't have much choice of school wherever you move to. You will be allocated whatever school has a space in the relevant year group. Few Kent grammars will offer 13+ places as the intake is at 11. Your budget will go further in Kent than London.

[LIZS]

And for private schools intake is usually year 7 or year 9 with occasional vacancies in year 8.

[Hellenhellen]

@LIZS

And for private schools intake is usually year 7 or year 9 with occasional vacancies in year 8.

Thank you, Lizs. I thought 13+ was available at all grammar schools, so it may not be available in Kingston. Is that right? This is valuable information.

that also goes with the privates: so I may not be able to send her to private after years 10-11, right?

[LIZS]

Indeed. What grammars are you hoping for in Kingston? Each will have its own admissions policy for in year places past year 7. Your dd1 is already beyond the main intake. Gcse courses start in year 10 latest and options year 9.

[LIZS]

This is Tiffin Girls for example. www.tiffingirls.org/admissions/in-year/

[minipie]

If you work from home, and always will, I wouldn’t live in London. You’ll be paying a London premium for everything due to lots of jobs being London based, when yours isn’t. Also traffic, crowded, everything booked up way ahead etc.

As you don’t need to commute, I would look somewhere that isn’t very easily commutable to London as that way you get more for your money. That could be the “wrong” side of Tunbridge Wells (ie far from the station). Or maybe somewhere like Marlow or Canterbury - nice but a pain to commute from. But in Kingston, Bromley etc you are definitely paying a commuter premium.

(I say this as a lifelong Londoner by the way)

Very few day private schools have a 13+ intake these days. Boarding schools often do have a 13+ entry, but even then, kids often need to take a pre test at year 6 (age 10/11) to get a place at 13. Crazy eh?

[PatriciaHolm]

Private schools often do have an intake at sixth form - so at the start of year 12 - as some pupils move at that point, but the number of places on offer is likely to be small. They may have ad hoc spaces in-year before that.

As Liz says, you will be given a school place, but they will be in the schools that have space, not necessarily the schools of your choice. Your 12 year old would need to sit an exam but state grammars are unlikely to have a set 13+ intake - their entry point is at 11+, end of year 6, as linked to above; Tiffin Girls don't, nor do Weald of Kent nor Tunbridge Wells Girls Grammar. So you would be on a waiting list.

Moving in Year 10 would not be advised, as GCSEs would have all already been chosen and options likely to be limited.

[fabio12]

The only thing I could think would be for your eldest to repeat Y8 perhaps?
I would say Sevenoaks is nicer than Tunbridge Wells and better for schools if your children are academic but those top schools and most grammar schools would be a stretch if they don't speak English fluently.

[Hellenhellen]

Mums, you rock! In the short time of this thread, I have learned so much about the school system. How about the social life as a lone parent in Tunbridge, Richmond, or Sevenoaks?

kids are very academic, especially the 12 yo, and I was thinking about repeating year 8 as she is a summer-born child anyway. @fabio12 you read my mind, and that really makes more sense now!

[LIZS]

Unlikely you can repeat year 8 in state system though.

[PatriciaHolm]

Repeating Year 8 in a state would be at the discretion of the admissions authority for the school, and if there are no academic concerns, it would be unlikely. I don't know enough about the Turkish academic system to judge whether a child coming into our Year 8 from it would be deemed to be at a disadvantage though. More likely to be allowed in the private system.

[Hibernatalie]

I love Bromley.
Out of your 3 I would go Richmond.

[Ticketybooboo]

I’d go Kingston or Bromley. Not a hope of getting into Bennett and I’ve no idea what SKA is like these days.

[minipie]

As you are looking for occasional places for both, rather than main entry points, I think you may need to make your location decision based partly on where there are school places. That will probably mean a lot of ringing around.

I would probably put your 8 year old into state given her lack of English - state sector are a lot more used to dealing with this than private.

I am not clear why people are suggesting repeating year 8? If her English is good and she is doing fine academically? Moving at the start of y9 shouldn’t be an issue, GCSEs are not chosen till middle of y9. And while most schools don’t have a y9 entry any more, there is a little more movement at that point than at the start of y8. Especially for private.

[HRTea]

Gosh are you sure you want to do this. I totally admire you for considering a move for your children's education but they aren't toddlers and it's going to be incredibly hard for them.

As others have said it won't be easy to get places at the most desirable schools given their ages. Your eldest only has some English, your younger daughter barely has any. You are uprooting them from their home and their friends to come to another county where they aren't fluent in the language, it will be frustrating for them if they are academic and struggle to keep up due to that and most importantly they will only see their father when he can make it over.

I'm going to assume you have a long term right to work in the UK but with kids that age I think you've got an incredibly tough few years ahead.

Good luck, it's a huge decision and i think you have bigger things to think about and a need to fully research school options and the UK school system before deciding on an area in which to live.

[dizzydizzydizzy]

I know you said you wanted them to go to grammar school but Bromley schools (comprehensive) are really good. There is an all girls super selective grammar school ln Orpington called Newstead Woods School. It is the only one in Bromley Borough. It is however very popular and very hard to get into.

I wanted my daughter to go there. She is easily bright enough but she didn't pass the test. She went to a comprehensive. It didn't matter because she did really well - got 4x Astar in her A Levels and got into one of the world's top universities.

[CoQ10]

TW is great. We love it here, and my children are a similar age.
School choice in the area is wide.
My thoughts echo much of what has already been said.
I also think comparing tw with Sevenoaks Bromley and other towns nearer to London is like comparing apples and pears. What I love about tw is the proximity to the countryside and the coast. It's 45 mins to Bexhill and Eastbourne.
You don't mention interests and broader lifestyle needs. To be happy, you'll need to consider more than just schools.
And having a close friend really close by is also a big deal if you do move.

[Jk987]

I would choose to be as close as possible to the friends or family you have in the UK. It will be tough not knowing anyone nearby.

Will your husband be joining you soon?

[AmaryllisChorus]

There are loads of good private schools near Kingston, and some grammars - not just Tiffin, but Sutton, Wallington and maybe even Wilsons could be reachable from there.

[Hellenhellen]

@HRTea

Gosh are you sure you want to do this. I totally admire you for considering a move for your children's education but they aren't toddlers and it's going to be incredibly hard for them.

As others have said it won't be easy to get places at the most desirable schools given their ages. Your eldest only has some English, your younger daughter barely has any. You are uprooting them from their home and their friends to come to another county where they aren't fluent in the language, it will be frustrating for them if they are academic and struggle to keep up due to that and most importantly they will only see their father when he can make it over.

I'm going to assume you have a long term right to work in the UK but with kids that age I think you've got an incredibly tough few years ahead.

Good luck, it's a huge decision and i think you have bigger things to think about and a need to fully research school options and the UK school system before deciding on an area in which to live.

Thank you, dear. you are right, I also have these worries. I have opened another thread that better explains my situation. Can you take a look at it and let me know your thoughts?

Are there any families with an Overseas Father out there?

[pinkdelight]

Wilsons could be reachable from there.

Wilsons is for boys though isn't it?