Cancelled relocation to Perth now regretting it

[superstrongmom]

Hi
I’m looking for advice.. we are a family of 5, kids 8,6,3. We are Australian citizens as we lived in Perth from 2011-2018, and we loved the life there.
we moved home shortly after my second child was born as I struggled breastfeeding and looking after a toddler with no support, we came home and I didn’t have support here either but I managed. I have no strong family links here. My husband family help with kids sometimes but unfortunately we never formed strong relationships over the years. We moved home to Ireland 5 years now and built a lovely big home, with a good bit of the mortgage paid. We live in rural Ireland here on my husband’s farm. I’ve always longed for Perth and thought it would be great for the kids to grow up there. So we both got jobs back in Perth and we were set to move but I panicked last minute with fear . We couldn’t get a rental and therefore we couldn’t get into a good public primary school in Perth . So now I’m regretting my decision, but when I was packing to go last week I was in fear of going. I couldn’t make my mind up. I was afraid of going and having a mortgage of $1 mill and the cost of private secondary school x3. In Ireland I can pay my mortgage off in 3 years time and my kids have excellent free education, we are just not having the outdoor lifestyle of Perth in Ireland. Overall if we lived in Perth we’d have a mortgage of $900k (with repayment that would be $1.8g) plus school fees of $160 k. Is this a crazy decision to move there considering the costs , is the price tag to high for sun sand and sea and beautiful outdoor life.
I only want to live in certain suburbs as I know the city well , so the possibility of moving very north or south for lower house prices is not an option. Any advice would be appreciated. Am I about to regret by his for the rest of my life , or is the grass green where you water it?? I just hate that my children stay indoor here for much of the year, even though we are active and attend many groups after school. My heart is in two places, if Perth wasn’t so competitive with school zones this wouldn’t be an issue.
any advice will be welcomed.
😊

[Shewaswanton]

Am confused as to where you were moving and from where, each time. You are Australian, naturalized? You moved home for support but got no support, so moved home again. In this new « home » you have no family links. Then you move « home » again, now it’s in Ireland. Then you got jobs in Perth but cancelled the move whilst packing. When was this last-minute panic and change of mind? Is it even retrievable now or have the job offers been rescinded ?

[superstrongmom]

Sorry about the confusing post , there was a lot to include🙈
yes I got naturalised citizenship.
I moved to Perth when I was 27, then I moved home to Ireland 8 years later. I had 2 children whilst in Perth.
I talked about the good life in Perth ever since I came home to Ireland, I longed for the Perth weather and lifestyle. So a few months ago my husband’s company had offered him a top job back in the company and I would walk straight back into my old job as a medical professional… too easy right. In the process of all this packing up to leave I panicked due to the reasons I highlighted in my OP( school , property , debt versus having no debt here in Ireland) so I cancelled the relocation job my husband was offered. That’s not a big deal as he could walk into that job again with his skills . Now I don’t know if I’ve made a huge mistake as I regret my decision. Yes we have family here but not a wonderful family dynamic where we meet up and love spending time together which is a shame. My family live too far away and my siblings are living in many different countries.

I’m so confused, probably because both countries have their pros. Weather and lifestyle just doesn’t help in Ireland.
I don’t know why I panicked I can’t answer that, maybe it was the thought of high debt in my 40s with house and the private kids education In Perth . I just don’t know, now I have regret.

[Shewaswanton]

I sympathise. It’s not easy with little ones. I moved around a lot, both before and after kids and we always found schools worked out fine in the end. It is daunting though. Do the kids remember /yearn to go back to Perth? There is no doubt the Aussie life is amazing for kids.

Sorry, wish I could advise but it does look like the financial side is likely to be the most important aspect - rest usually falls into place even if you don’t end up in your preferred neighborhood with places at your first choice school.

How does your husband feel about this all?

[grosslyunfair]

I also lived in Aus for 7 years and got naturalised, then moved home. I found the first few years very hard as I missed so much about Aus, but I had strong family ties here and am settled now. Still have pangs for Aus but I know this is home now. But I saw a lot of other people in similar positions bounce back and forth several times- I think one of the things being an expat does is weaken your ties to any one place, and several of my friends were always homesick for one place while living in the other and struggled to settle.

So I sympathise - maybe a very dispassionate list based approach, thinking about pros and cons of both? Aus has great things as does Europe, only you know which will be better long term for you and your family, and what trade offs you can live with .

[LickleLamb]

If you can brave the rain - which my adult DCs do here - there are lots of sports you can do all year round here in the UK. Running, cycling, windsurfing, etc skiing in Europe?
Isn't it too hot for some of the year in Perth?
If you get your small DCs into sport early there is lots they can do growing up in Ireland. Perth is lovely but a long way from everywhere - where would the DCs go for eg uni - Ireland has good unis handier.

[Peterpieper]

Once your eldest is 11 , you will be locked into the location they go to school, possibly for life. 11 - 18 are formative years and they will probably consider themselves the nationality of the country they spent their school years in. They will be putting down roots and forming friendships, plus difficult to move during the examination years. And then you with have the two younger ones also starting senior school.

[GrumpyPanda]

If your DH works for a global company, don't they usually work with relocation agencies? Get them to do the searching for you. Temporary one year rental if need be.

[penjil]

"Overall if we lived in Perth we’d have a mortgage of $900k, plus school fees of $160k."

Oh my, that level of debt is just frightening. I know the Australians are well paid, but it still seems a crazy amount even by their standards!

I found Perth to be nice, but dim.
In fact most of Australia is a cultural and historical desert. If you want a well-paid job, a nice bungalow house and 2 Holdens in the drive with weekends in Freemantle or Rockingham, then fine. But that's all you're going to get.

Northern Europe may not have the weather, or the huge pay, but it makes up for it with other rich experiences.....castles, theatres, cosy winter nights, wonderful old bookshops, mediaeval towns, cathedral cities and you can still have the seaside and forest walks in the summer.

Plus not to mention the whole of Europe will be at your disposal...cheap flights and only about 2-3 hours flight time!
Even Marrakech is on your doorstep, and all of those Greek islands!

[Newbeginningsandhappy]

I’m a bit confused. You are talking about rental being the reason your children can’t go to public school but you are also talking about mortgage? Once you have a mortgage in your preferred area can’t they go to public school there? How long will it take to get a mortgage sorted?

[ShippingNews]

I don't understand why the kids would all have to go to private schools in Perth - if you got a rental or a mortgage in your preferred area you'd be accepted in the state schools in that catchment area.

[NorthernAttitude]

For that level of money I'd stay in Ireland and take hot outdoorsy holidays. It sounds like you are idealising Perth. Ireland has access to Europe which is much more interesting for your kids as they get older than being pretty globally isolated in Perth.

[ShippingNews]

I'm confused about the school fees you mention - A$160,000 per year for three kids is more expensive than the most expensive school in Perth. I've never heard of fees over about $25,000pa for any school there. Just get a rental or mortgage in your preferred area and they have to give you places in the local state school.

[DragonFly98]

Your kids don't need to go to private school in Perth.

[ProfCee]

Australia has become a ridiculously expensive place to live in the past few years!
I'm shocked when I see new arrivals these days....The cost of buying a home anywhere decent is over a million dollars now and finding a rental property is next to impossible! We rent out a 4 bedroom home and received 84 applications! Many people were trying to offer over the advertised rental price or 12-24 months rent upfront to secure the place!

[onmyway2010]

The lifestyle is amazing in Perth! But the cost of living has become even more outrageous in the past few years. We live inner city and our kids go to private school (the top schools are $30k per year). Catholic schools are much more affordable ($3-4k for primary and $12-15k for senior). Could your husband’s job sort out a rental for you for the first year? If you choose the right area, there are fantastic public schools. Which area are you thinking - if you’re looking inner city then Shenton College, Bob Hawke College or Mt Lawley High have good reputations.

But rent/mortgage and school fees will definitely impact your ability to travel etc. I guess you have to weigh that up.

[NorthCliffs]

I presume your children knew about the impending move and change of mind? Please don't rock their psychological boats too often with such massive changes.

[ironorchids]

It's very difficult to tell right now which option will be better, but it sounds very much like you prefer your lifestyle in Perth than in Ireland.

[Maxiedog123]

Perth dweller here.
Given the real estate prices you are quoting you are looking at the catchment areas of a couple of excellent government high schools eg Shenton college, you really wouldn't have to pay private school fees .

[GrimDamnFanjo]

The debt to me would make me favour Ireland but I understand that weather can have a bad effect on your life if you hate it.
I'd stay put and spend a large amount of the money saved on vacations and interests.

[Amara123]

You'd be mad to move with the costs you describe up there. If you stay where you are, you'd have way more opportunities to help your kids later. They can study in Ireland and Europe pretty easily.
I lived in Perth, fab weather, but the opportunities long term for your kids would be limited.
I lived a lot of places like you, and the poster up there is right, your ties are weakened and it takes a good bit of time to settle.
Use Ireland as your base to travel, even buy a holiday home in the sun.

[Weegie91]

@superstrongmom

Hi
I’m looking for advice.. we are a family of 5, kids 8,6,3. We are Australian citizens as we lived in Perth from 2011-2018, and we loved the life there.
we moved home shortly after my second child was born as I struggled breastfeeding and looking after a toddler with no support, we came home and I didn’t have support here either but I managed. I have no strong family links here. My husband family help with kids sometimes but unfortunately we never formed strong relationships over the years. We moved home to Ireland 5 years now and built a lovely big home, with a good bit of the mortgage paid. We live in rural Ireland here on my husband’s farm. I’ve always longed for Perth and thought it would be great for the kids to grow up there. So we both got jobs back in Perth and we were set to move but I panicked last minute with fear . We couldn’t get a rental and therefore we couldn’t get into a good public primary school in Perth . So now I’m regretting my decision, but when I was packing to go last week I was in fear of going. I couldn’t make my mind up. I was afraid of going and having a mortgage of $1 mill and the cost of private secondary school x3. In Ireland I can pay my mortgage off in 3 years time and my kids have excellent free education, we are just not having the outdoor lifestyle of Perth in Ireland. Overall if we lived in Perth we’d have a mortgage of $900k (with repayment that would be $1.8g) plus school fees of $160 k. Is this a crazy decision to move there considering the costs , is the price tag to high for sun sand and sea and beautiful outdoor life.
I only want to live in certain suburbs as I know the city well , so the possibility of moving very north or south for lower house prices is not an option. Any advice would be appreciated. Am I about to regret by his for the rest of my life , or is the grass green where you water it?? I just hate that my children stay indoor here for much of the year, even though we are active and attend many groups after school. My heart is in two places, if Perth wasn’t so competitive with school zones this wouldn’t be an issue.
any advice will be welcomed.
😊

Why are you quoting $160k in school fees like this is normal?

I was publicly educated in Australia which was enough to get me into a top University. You don't need to send them to private school?

[ginasevern]

Why did you move back for support when you knew that none existed, that doesn't make any sense? Why do your kids have to attend expensive private schools? I believe the Australian education system is better than the UK (not sure about Ireland). I also don't see why your DC have to live an indoorsy lifestyle. I know it rains a lot in Ireland, it does in England too but there are lots of things you can do. You also have access to Europe for holidays. You sound rather confused with your life in general OP.

[superstrongmom]

@Shewaswanton thank you for your kind reply. Yes very hard. The kids barely remember life . I’d say at the moment as they are so young they would be delighted with either option. I’d say if my oldest was starting secondary school here he would definitely not be interested in going anywhere, he’s only 8 .
My DH is happy anywhere, he does think it would be much more financially stressful in Perth due to high house prices even in average suburbs, you wouldn’t even be looking at the more affluent suburbs, prices are $1.2 mill for homes that need a lot of refurbishment. Thank you again😊

[superstrongmom]

@Peterpieper thank you for your message. Yes indeed there will be no moving once kids hit secondary school, those are the important years and I would not mess with my children education and mental well being by moving them. They are my priority that’s why I thought this would be a good move now when they are young. Thank you for your message 😊

[superstrongmom]

@Maxiedog123
thank you for your message. No unfortunately the prices I’m talking about are not in the catchment for good public schools that’s why I’d have to look at private catholic and the overall education cost primary and secondary x3 would equate to appro $150 k.
For Shenton college and mount Lawley property is 1.3 mill , so after interest it would be 2.6 mill
. also I’ve been told those public schools have like 400 students per year .