German Schools

[finknottle]

Get it off your chest

There are, as anywhere, good and bad aspects to the school system.

So if you want advice, help or an embittered rant - feel free.

On a postive note - anyone see the thread on Primary about security? I've just taken dd to kg and on the way back wanted to drop off a school library book ds2 has had since before Christmas and forgot again.
All I did is walk in, went to his classroom and left it on his PE kit so he'll see it at break.

No one worries unduly about security here. The caretaker has an office (all glass) outside the main building but he's rarely in it.

Is it only village schools? Looks so odd to me to have a school "locked down".

[admylin]

Lol at Emanka using this thread to cure her homesickness! We could always go and read the moaning rant threads about UK to get rid of our homesickness maybe!

I know a couple of people who sent their dc to Realschule even though they had Gymnasialempfehlung from the primary school. One of them said he would rather his sons had learned a good trade and more practical side of life so that they had that in their hand and then they could do Abi and study if they wanted to. Quite a few of my friends went to university after doing a normal Ausbildung and dh knows several of his students have a Beruf already. It doesn't sound like a bad way to go about it really when you see how hard it is for alot of degree/PhD owners to get a job in their field.

[SSSandy2]

Is she in Bonn atm?

Emkana have you had much luck finding nice books for dd?

Admylin, we were house hunting (almighty yawn) again on Sunday. One place was out in the wops with fields on two sides and nothing much at all except riding schools. Dd seemed to like it. Dh was wondering how she could be such a little country bumpkin having grown up here in the city and he says he's amazed she's always saying she wants to go to a little village school and live in the countryside.

I can't fathom his amazement, can you? Do people seriously think little kids WANT to live in a big town? Teenagers ok but primary school dc?

[emkana]

No I'm back in the UK now

Didn't get much time to look for books, but did buy part two of Das Sams for her, because she saw it on stage while we were there.

[SSSandy2]

I didn't even know there was a stage production of SAMS emkana. How was it? Keep thinking we should go to the Pippi Langstrumpf one here but never seem to get round to it!

How was it seeing the family again? I always look forward to my visits but start getting extremely TENSE by about day 3! Have you ever thought about putting your smaller dc in a KG here in the mornings one summer? Someone else on MN did that when she was on holiday in Germany. I've forgotten who it was now. Would be great motivation for their German and would give you a bit of a break. I had no idea that was possible actually.

[admylin]

All is quiet on the school front at the moment I see!

Did you have your meeting with school about dd being off too much SSSandy? We've got parents versammlung on Thursday but with dd's class, it will be OK as the teacher is very organised and no problems. Ds's teacher has been off for 3 weeks now with 'flu' all hoping she leaves for good. This is her 4th week off and they have a nice German teacher replacement - she has been doing tests every week, asking us to sign things too and even set a test date next week and the parents had to sign the homework book to show they know about the upcoming test. I like her method, no excuses any more about forgetting things, she can really tell which dc need extra help. Just thought I would mention something positive for once!

[SSSandy2]

the meeting was just a normal parent-teacher thing not specifically about absence but I got the date wrong, it's next week!

I'm feeling really bad atm admylin (school) but just don't know what to do really. I'll send you an email if you don't mind, I'd love to ask for your advice.

[Nighbynight]

hi all! am smiling at this red rag thread, will catch up on it later.
Sorry you are feeling bad, SSandy.

[emkana]

I didn't see the Sams, the dd's went with their grandmother, but they really really loved it. Saw Pippi last year (me as well) and it was great.

I love being in Germany, which makes it so hard for me to come back. My mum has a huge garden which the dd's love playing in. We see my friends a lot, hang out in my mum's house... There is no time for Kindergarten

sorry to hear you're having such a tricky time

[SSSandy2]

so can you really see yourself moving back then emkana in 6 years time or so? Glad you had a nice time here. Is it the people you miss most about Germany? How do you think your dh will fit in? I know quite a few couples here where the wife is German and the dh English.

Thanks both of you for your kind thoughts, I have some good advice from admylin and I will have to think about it a bit. I am thinking of arranging a talk with dh and the head if I can but not sure if it is really wise. She is leaving in summer and not sure whether it all makes much sense under those circumstances

Oh for some WISDOM! Hier damit! How are you doing these days NN?

[finknottle]

What's up Sandy? You can spout and rage to your heart's content here. A purpose-built thread And I can't come on and rant if you're being all restrained

I'm nurturing an unhelpful but oh so festering grudge against dh that if he'd put more effort into speaking with the children when they were younger, they wouldn't have the problems they do with German.
He always said, oh, they'll pick it up in kiga, with friends, don't worry.
He now think ds2's troubles are entirely due to his needing an Erfolgserlebnis - but I pointed out he started Y3 with 1's and 2's and it's only as the work has got harder that his language skills have increasingly slowed him down and there is a huge jump from Y2 to Y3 pace-wise.
His content for his last essay was all 1's and 2's but the grammar, Satzbau, treffende Verben & Adjektive usw. were 4's. Lightbulb? He can learn stuff by heart but he can't write at the level he should. Even his teacher said she thinks he just doesn't understand sometimes and he translates in his head.
Then it's a downward spiral of bad Note, confidence down, motivation down, concentration down... and the teacher tells me, she doesn't have time to deal with him individually.

[SSSandy2]

I'm not in a rage about it today though finks, I'm all weird and tearful and sad. I am going to pop out and buy some Poirot DVDs I saw the other day and a monster bag of crisps and hide under a blanket on the sofa and pretend it all isn't happening I think.

I also wonder, you know, just what men are good for in the end? Could someone please remind me? I had such a scene with dh last night abotu this whole school problem thing and I feel so Think I'll just wallow in it for today and then talk about it when my emotions are back in the right places.

Relieved?!

Finks if ds started with 1s and 2s, I should think he is well able to cope with the work, I really do. Is it a problem of how to tackle it possibly? I think you might have to look at doing German grammar practice and vocab building at home with him. Is it at all realistic time-wise? I would maybe just work through a book, it has to make a difference over time , don't you think? How about a bit every day in the Easter break and 10 minutes a day after school? Is he an avid reader in German?

[finknottle]

Not an avid reader in German and you can't force it. He is now starting to read more, I hope he's accepting that he has to put more effort in, not just retreat into his comfort zone.
I have a couple of books and we discussed it yesterday. Lots of support & reassurance and extra Playstation/computer for trying harder. I don't let them play during the week so that's a big incentive

Sigh, I wish the local children jsut got places at the Gesamtschule. The lottery stinks. Ds2 will really thrive there but I don't want to overdo that in case he doesn't get in.
Your dd is Y2, isn't she? She seems v bright and into learning. That counts for such a lot, what exactly are you worried about?

Oh, dh's. Hmm.

[admylin]

Hi finknottle, did you see that green house I told you about? The lidl one?

SSSandy, what flavour crisps did you get? Could do with some really strong salt and vinager at the moment!

I'm worried about something today - dd has school swimming and they walk there and back ( a good 15 minute walk) and it's a bit windy today. The hairdryer things at the pool don't always work, or often there are just too many long-haired girls wanting to use them and they let them walk back with wet hair. I suppose it could work towards hardening them up, but I get the headache, runny nose and fever to cope with if dd catches cold. Same every week, roll on the warmer weather.

[finknottle]

Hi admylin, sorry, forgot to say, thanks, it looks good and I can secure it so it doesn't blow away and I can move it around if I want.
Have told dh to pick one up on the way home. It's only 1050 euros cheaper than the ones I showed him last week
No, I wasn't really serious, just wanted to wind him up! Works every time, the sap

[finknottle]

Won't she wear a hat? Or is she like ds1, "Mum, hats aren't cooool" - "Neither is pneumonia."

[admylin]

Yes, they all have to bring hats or coats with a hood (she has a hood) but if it's windy and they are marching along and the hood is always blown down and sowieso not cool as you say, the Erzieherin who goes with them doesn't seem to bother. Infact dd told me she buys a take out coffee at a bakery to drink on her way back and they all have to stand outside the bakery and wait otherwise she is a nice woman...

[finknottle]

Ours don't go swimming, even though the Freibad is next to the school.

[admylin]

Really, I always thought it was pflicht in German primary school. I sent mine to private lessons before they started school swimming because I would have been past myself if I thought they couldn't swim and there really are too many dc to one teacher.It's the first time I've seen a swimming teacher who didn't even get wet, amazing. He used a stick with a loop on the end if a child went under

It's the same when they have ausflug days and I cringe at the thought of 26 1st or 2nd years unterwegs with 2 adults.

[SSSandy2]

Hi girls. Can everyone please cross their fingers and den Daumen drücken for me! Dh actually said last night, maybe the British system would suit dd better and we should go over to England over Easter and look into it.

admylin, it may be a regional thing with the swimming. I think year 3 swimming is compulsory in Berlin but like you, I sent dd to learn privately I think from the age of 4 so she'd be confident on holiday.

I think it's great they do a bit more than just 1 x turnen a week admylin. Maybe that builds up resilience and combats the effects fo wet hair in the cold? Hopefully. I supppose she wouldn't be seen dead in a bathing cap?

Do you think it is difficult to get out of the Klassenfahrt? Can you just say no and that's it or is it an enormous hassle?

[finknottle]

Sandy - brilliant So pleased for you - he's listening

Tell me more later.

[SSSandy2]

Oh I really really hope so finks.

He just spoke briefly, came in at 10pm grabbed a bag and had to leave again. He's having to travel an awful lot with work atm and will be away now till Saturday. The really positive thing was he just brought it up himself without me having to say anything. I suppose I looked such a huddled mass of misery hiding behind my salt and vinegar crisps and watching Murder on the Nile. Perhaps the Anblick was too much for him?

He has to be in London next week and I would like to go too and take dd round the natural history museum , to Madame Tussauds et , go to MARKS and SPENCERS and eat fish and chips and well - you know escape for a wee bit. Not sure how the school would take it though, not very well I expect.

[finknottle]

Yep, bound to have been the devastatingly deadly combination of salt & vinegar and Agatha Christie that swung it.

Lie to the school - want some ideas? Am master of shameless lies.

[SSSandy2]

Yes please!!!

I lie to the school so much already though, dh was saying the other day when he was ranting and raving - fit for this thread in fact - saying that it wasn't good for dd because she'll pick up on all the lies or have to go along with them and learn that you can get out of things by lying etc etc. Well he's right about that of course but I don't know how else to deal with things really.

Actually, I was thinking family wedding or even funeral, or would that be bad luck? (nervous superstitious emoticon!) And it wouldn't be good if the teacher called on dd to talk about the wedding when we got back, would it?

[finknottle]

He has a point. I've had to teach the boys the concept of a white lie - something not telling the whole truth but not lying and done so as not to hurt someone's feelings etc. Still feels a bit shabby.
Then again, it's a life skill

There is of course the honest:
"We want to go but the school won't allow it so although I know I shouldn't, I'm going to tell a lie."
Your moral compass seems robust enough for her to realise that it's an exception, surely? Plus you could tell dd that it is only because visiting the UK is such a special thing for you lot being foreign and you understand the school has to have rules or everyone would do it - but this really is a one off.

Best lies have some connection to the truth.
A sick relative can be poorly but made to sound at death's door. Godparents are good. You can tell the school dd doesn't really understand how ill, but you can't wait till the Easter hols to visit. Tell dd before "We're going to visit X." Then when you do go, tell dd "Wasn't it nice we visited X, glad we did." All she will know that it was a special visit. She won't be an accessory before or after the fact.


Oh and it is a measure of how bad her schooling is that you do have to lie and dissemble. You sound a very honest person so it's good that your dh recognizes things are Extreme.

[SSSandy2]

you are really VERY good at this! Thanks! Like that very ill godparent one. Will go with that one. Actually feeling a bit excited at the prospect of a short trip - would give us such a lift.

How is your ds today?