Moving to the US when pregnant

[Lolly2803]

Hi, I have 18 month old twins and am currently 16 weeks pregnant. There is a strong possibility we will be moving the the US (L.A) in March which would mean I'd be around 7 months pregnant.
What do I need to do?!! How easy is it to have a baby in the US? Basically am after any advice or help etc! Also any ideas how much nursery is in the US? I assume they have nurseries like here in the U.K.? xx

[SofiaAmes]

Want2bSupermum please feel free to PM me if you'd like some advice on and help with how to reduce your expenses and where to go to have a more cost effective enjoyable experience in Los Angeles.

[SofiaAmes]

P.S. We have a fantastic safety net here which has greatly assisted my family in hard times. I don't think you really know what resources are available, Want2bSupermum

[SillySallySingsSongs]

In any case, the OP is coming to Los Angeles and looking for advice to make the transition smoother.

No they haven't yet decided whether they will be or not or when and are awaiting details on the package being offered if you RTFT.

[FiresideFlames]

@Stupomax FiresideFlames that article is riddled with inaccuracies. I'd stick with reputable sources.

Oh, I didn’t post the advice from the article, that was another poster. I merely did the tiniest bit of Googling to find the source

[Want2bSupermum]

sofia What I know is that where I am we are lucky to have fully funded PreK. Childcare for us right now is $4k a month. Housing is $3500. We have a company car fully paid for by DHs employer. Our insurance, utilities etc come to $800 a month and food is $800-1000 because we don't eat out much and we have 3DC. Our medical bills are fully covered but we spend about $350 a week on each child. We have a float of $5k. We are visiting family and the flight is paid for. We are still dropping $1500 on our visit because we need a rental car, the DC need to be entertained and we are expected to visit family. Just today we spent $175 in total on lunch, a gift for DHs aunt and filling up the car with gas. We also have to pay the utility bill for my PIL summer house. I expect it might cost us another $400-600. Yes you can argue the Op wouldn't have to pay $4k a month for childcare but PreK for twins will set them back at least $1600-2000 a month.

Yes you can survive on $100k but personally there wouldn't be a chance in hell of us moving our family to LA if that's what they were offering. I've been laid off 3 times and have experienced what is offered and it isn't much. I've also lived next to a rough area in what is considered a 'nice' area which is more affordable. Well our neighbor was car jacked in his driveway at 7pm and I saw someone shot dead on my drive home from work one night at about 11:30pm. I'm very happy we moved to a better neighborhood. You also wouldn't be able to visit family very often if that is what was paid. You would be lucky to visit every 3rd or 4th year.

On an income of $100k a year it will be extremely tight and much tighter than what the OP would realize. Salaries are much higher in the US for a reason, it costs more to live here.

[luckybird07]

wanttobesupermum-I am with Sofia. It may be you have had the luxury of not having to be resourceful because of the kind of package that your husband is on- good for you but you are in a minority. I can tell you we had a good life on 100k for many years before I returned to work-not loads of spare cash but we lived in an excellent area in a beautiful home. Now we earn no where near 300 k a year and we save a LOT of money each month because I guess we got used to living modestly. We can retire in our mid 50's if we carry on what we are doing. That would not have ever been possible in London.

If her husband can get more than 100k then of course he should try but I would suggest not going lower. If the poster is a stay home mum I doubt she will be dropping money on full time day care for her children- I certainly did not.

You may have got so used to living in your rarefied world that you have lost sight of what many middle class families get by on quite happily. 300k is a ridiculous sum that will no doubt could her husband consider whatever salary he is offered as inadequate. I know engineers/people who work in computing and none of them make 250K from what they have shared with me. In the Bay area perhaps but not in LA. I also think checking health insurance is important- I now find I pay very little( 0$ per month co pay) as my employer covers it completely.
A friend was surviving as a single mother substitute teacher- when she added up her earnings she found she was getting 30k a year and yes she lived in a modest apartment in a very pleasant area and she got by.

The kind of income you are describing is unrealistic for most people and few ex pats would ever come to LA if they asked or expected such a high amount.
You may well be frittering money if you honestly think you need that kind of income for the good life or you are overpaying rent perhaps?

[luckybird07]

Full time day care at the local pre-school, when I returned to work ran at $825 a month for one child. After school care now runs at $440 a month for two kids. Far cheaper than what friends tell us they pay in London.Some things cost more here but some things are cheaper- it is december and we have yet to turn our heating on.

[SofiaAmes]

luckybird07 you must have good insulation or be made of "good british stock"...I've had my heat on since September (albeit not very often), but maybe my Sicilian blood makes me a wimp! My friends in the midwest laugh at me when I complain about the "freezing" weather as soon as it drops below 75.

[SofiaAmes]

I live in one of the more expensive neighborhoods in West LA (it was a lot cheaper when I got here 25 years ago) and my costs are far more in line with what luckybird07 is saying than wanttobesupermum and the other things is the accessibility to good public schooling of all sorts and shapes and the great support for dc's with learning differences or medical/mental health issues. I was just reading a thread from someone in the UK who was on a 2 year waiting list to get their child assessed by the school district and everyone was saying that that's the norm. It takes a maximum of 60 days here and it's pretty easy to make sure you get the appropriate accommodations too.

[PeaQiwiComHequo]

I very much doubt any insurance company will take you on at 7 months pg and then immediately pay for a cs delivery! but you've already said you'll check this. I suspect the answer will be that you are only giving birth in the USA if the company pays for the procedures and all consequential care directly.

though the US immigration department may also be not keen for this to happen as it will make your baby a US citizen.

wherever you give birth, don't forget to ensure that the baby is also fully covered for health insurance from the moment of birth. there have been numerous cases where a mother was covered by insurance but the baby wasn't automatically covered and the consequences aren't good.

[WereYouHareWhenIWasFox]

I am not sure I agree with you there Sofia, yes schools are incredibly quick at responding. But I am not sure their treatment is any different than in the UK, it just looks better, because the response was quicker. I have had far worse medical treatment in the US than I ever did in the UK, (or most of the other countries I have lived in, including many developing countries)

[scotx]

I can't believe some of what I'm reading on this thread. Software engineers earning $250k, $300k need for a family to live comfortably, pregnant woman possibly being denied insurance, US immigration not wanting babies born in the US.....??!!

[WereYouHareWhenIWasFox]

I know right! 😂 not really a place to want to live any more is it?

[SofiaAmes]

My experience was the opposite. The medical care I had in the 7 years I lived in London was beyond abysmal and I've seen cleaner hospitals in Eritrea than the hospitals I gave birth at in London. Not to mention the lack of care for basic hygiene and medical protocol at the doctors and hospitals in London and absurdly long waiting lists and games being played to pretend that the waiting lists are shorter than they are. I am speaking from personal experience regarding assessments and accommodations, but do recognize that it's anecdotal. (AND very important to note that things vary greatly from one US State to another....California is supposed to be one of the best).

[SofiaAmes]

So why are you living here, if you hate it so much?

[WereYouHareWhenIWasFox]

Yes to varying state by state. I live in NY, I thought it would be so much better. Although I also had shit experiences in CA.

[WereYouHareWhenIWasFox]

Me, Sofia? Why did you live in London? I am only here for another 2 years. It hasn’t been the worst experience, but the world is a big beautiful place! Much more beautiful than Trump’s US!

[chemenger]

All of this discussion is interesting but ultimately if the OP doesn’t have her visa in place she isn’t going to be living in the US in March. She hasn’t answered any questions about that so I suspect they might not even have started the application, I don’t think it will be in place by March in that case. It’s one thing to hop back and forwards on ESTAs, as people do, as a single person, but doing it with two toddlers and a newborn does not sound like fun and talking their way past border security will be tricky.

[SofiaAmes]

I have traveled through a lot of the world and lived in several places in the US and Europe. I LOVE LA. I do have to agree that NYC was not my favorite place to live...I like to drive and I love hot weather.
I went to London for work and ended up staying for a man for 7 years. I hated living there....expensive, bad weather, racist, anti-semitic, bad food, problematic education system and awful medical care (my ds has a rare genetic disease which was undiagnosed until he was 10, so we spent a lot of time in emergency rooms and doctors offices). But to each his/her own.

[SofiaAmes]

We've probably scared the OP off by now.

[WereYouHareWhenIWasFox]

You know you are on a U.K. based website right? 😂
You live in the US, and you call the UK racist? 😂😂 you have no clue!

[Lolly2803]

Wow!!! 🤣 This is a lot of information! So yes we haven't started visas yet so as you say unlikely to be there in March it seems. I am merely trying to gather as much Information as possible to help our decision on whether we move or not. I think when we move will be out of our control anyway in terms of visas etc so let's see. Definitely taking on board all the advice on healthcare and understand it's importance so will be making sure that's all covered and will call myself to fully understand it. Salary wise DH in will be earning $250k. The twins will be 2 when we move. We don't want to scrimp on the house and would rent. We want to have a nice place. That is the most important thing for us. Haven't decided how long we would stay. We may even come home in time for the twins to start school in the UK but if we love it who knows! Such amazing advice on here. We will know for sure in early Jan xx

[luckybird07]

Lolly you will have a very nice life on 250 k a year and that is a generous salary offer. If you do not think you will stay long I would put your stuff in storage or just ship stuff that you will not ship back to the UK if you choose to return to get your kids in school.

I also prefer life here to life in London although I only got to live in central London quite briefly and I did enjoy that. Life in LA is just easier- no long commute, blue skies most days, rain is so rare we are all unsure what we do when it rains, education excellent and no mad scramble to get your kids into school- just live in a house near a good school. If it happens I am sure you will have a pleasant experience- I also had terrible medical care in a London hospital-I have only had excellent care here.
Sofia-we must be hardy because the heating does not go in till the 60's in this house( it has been on in the mornings now I think about it- then we are out at work all day)- certainly our energy bills are lower here.It will be a chance for the poster to explore Jerry Grown's beautiful California-there is so much varied beauty in the US I now get it why Amercians may go a long time without leaving the US.
Good Luck with it all Lolly-it will be an adventure if it happens and on 250k you will take a big chunk of savings home with you, even if you live in Marina!!

[ArfArfBarf]

We went to the US on a secondment in 2016 when I was 4 months pregnant with dc3. Our expat insurance covered me immediately with no copays (or excess or any financial contribution from us at all). We didn’t need to stay “in network” for drs either but I did struggle to find a “good” OB because they were fully booked up for my delivery date.
Our L1/L2 visas were approved MUCH more quickly than suggested here too (within 2 months I think) but I appreciate this may have changed with the current administration.

[hollyhaphazard]

I've known a lot of Brit expats in California and not a one has gone back. They all made 200k plus and just wouldn't trade back to a UK lifestyle. The people will be welcoming, the weather is about as good as it gets, the schools are excellent and resourced to a much higher level. Have fun OP!