Moving to the US when pregnant

[Lolly2803]

Hi, I have 18 month old twins and am currently 16 weeks pregnant. There is a strong possibility we will be moving the the US (L.A) in March which would mean I'd be around 7 months pregnant.
What do I need to do?!! How easy is it to have a baby in the US? Basically am after any advice or help etc! Also any ideas how much nursery is in the US? I assume they have nurseries like here in the U.K.? xx

[mycatismeowican]

Why would you want the baby to be American? It creates so much hassle overseas. Just ask my poor cat.

[marcopront]

@birdseatworms

Many health insurance policies won't cover pregnancy and birth until you have been on the plan over 9 months. Be sure to check you will be covered.

The baby will be over a month old by now, so I am sure the OP really appreciates this advice from you.

[birdseatworms]

Many health insurance policies won't cover pregnancy and birth until you have been on the plan over 9 months. Be sure to check you will be covered.

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

I think if I’m honest I would stay in the uk and then move out after the baby was born.

I second this, I had both my DC in the US when a close friend was having hers in the UK -she had a better experience and far more post-natal support (although you might not need it as you're an experienced parent)! Living here as a family is expensive but fine. It's a shock though when you realise that you can't get anything without showing your insurance card and/or getting out your credit card.

[JaneGlorianaVillanueva]

Would love an update OP!

[Moraxella]

@Lolly2803 have you gone/did you go?
Asking because I am struggling t find an ob/gyn who will take anyone on in 2nd trimester!

[spinabifidamom]

My advice is to find out as much information as you can possibly about the area. Get information on insurance companies and also research local schools carefully. The websites of the school will yield a ton of useful information.
Also please wait until you give birth. Make sure that you read all paperwork.

[mathanxiety]

Check out RC preschools for affordable rates, also local park district classes that would allow you to register for 4/6/8-week classes (no commitment to ongoing fee payment). The YMCA offers preschool programs and preschool. Check if you will be anywhere near one. Your twins are young though and you will be at home. Three is a more usual age to start a few half days a week of preschool in your circumstances, and four much more likely (again, often for just a few half days a week).

You may also find classes offered at museums and your local library will be a major resource for you. Look at facilities like ice rinks for classes too, and tennis clubs. Check out the location of local parks.

I would take the apartment they are offering too, and you can scout around during the six months for something more suitable when you get the pay of the land.

When it comes to venturing out with twins and a baby, please don't hesitate to look for recommendations for teenage mothers' helpers, and be prepared to pay the going rate. Teens under age 16 are your best bet for this sort of casual employment as they are not eligible to get payroll jobs either FT or PT except with exemptions, but after 16 they are and many don't have time for babysitting any more. Many kids aged 13ish to 16 do babysitting and mothers' helper jobs. You should prioritise finding someone you can call on for a few hours a week.

There has been a massive outbreak of measles in Washington state www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/08/692665531/measles-cases-mount-in-pacific-northwest-outbreak and a lot of concern about anti vaxers, so I would expect a climate of raised eyebrows for you if your DCs are not up to date with an American vaccination schedule. You will typically register your DCs with a pediatrician for routine care in the US, though there are Family Practitioners too (roughly equivalent to GPs).

If you have your baby in the US a hospital pediatrician will supervise care of the baby in the hospital. Sometimes this hospital pediatrician will have openings in their practice and you could sign the DCs as patients. Or the hospital pediatrician might recommend a colleague. When choosing a pediatrician, look for an office that has experienced and knowledgeable nurses who do excellent phone triage - you don't want an office that says 'Oh bring little Johnny in and we'll take a look' when one of the DCs has a high temp, only to be told it's a virus, you go home along with every germ in the area and get really sick, and then the bill for your visit arrives... Better to speak on the phone to a good nurse who is paid to weed out virus cases.

[lljkk]

Not everywhere in LA has aircon.
LA residents spend more time in their cars than they do outside.

[ThriftyMcThrifty]

Sorry OP just reading your update. If they are paying for six months in that apartment complex then personally I’d take it. We are on about the same income as you will be, and rent a three bedroom house with large yard and guest house in a great area with nice schools, so I don’t think you will have a problem. We lived in a similar sounding apartment complex in the marina when we first got here and it was fine, remember it will be nice weather and there are parks everywhere so you can be outside as much as you like.

[ThriftyMcThrifty]

Also you can’t claim a religious exemption for vaccinations in California. Unless you want to home school!

[ThriftyMcThrifty]

I’ve had both my babies in Los Angeles - one at St. John’s and one at Ucla Ronald Reagan. Both great hospitals and wonderful postnatal care. I’m also seven months pregnant. We were thinking of moving back to the UK but put it off so we could have our third child here as the medical care is just so great (obviously only if you have good insurance). And also wanted our baby to have us citizenship like his siblings, which we think is an advantage, especially now with brexit. If you want to research doctors before you get here, and know where in la you will be living, you could also join the la mommies Facebook group and ask for doctor reccomendations.

[britinnyc1]

Life in LA really is easier than anywhere I have lived before and if you don't have to commute the traffic (the #1 thing people complain about) really isn't an issue. I wouldn't worry about not having a garden, there are plenty of parks. I am not sure about where you are living but I am a few towns south of Marina Del Rey and our town's parks and rec department have a ton of affordable kids activities. I also use an app for Dr's visits called Heal, they come to your house and do vaccinations/well child/sick child visits and it is 100% covered by insurance. It really is a great lifestyle here, as your kids get older and you have to worry more about schools the house prices in good school zones can be a bit of a shock but the good school districts are great and typically you are guaranteed a place if you live in the zone, no complex catchment area issues.

[Want2bSupermum]

Ah don't worry about vaccinations. Just start with claiming a religious exemption and figure out with your pediatrician what is needed.

[Want2bSupermum]

100% coverage isn't unusual. We have it. It's through SOS which is a subsidiary of AIG. Just be careful because our SOS coverage doesn't include preexisting conditions and the fuckers in Denmark processing our claims spent 3 years arguing that DSs autism was a preexisting condition because he was born with it. We were dropping $50-60k a year on therapy for him. Don't assume that Europeans will be more reasonable on healthcare. I found them to be far less understanding and cruel when it comes to coverage compared to the American healthcare insurance.

DH now has a an agreement with his employer that they will pay any healthcare expense SOS denies. If they don't pay we are leaving america or DH will be changing jobs.

[ArfArfBarf]

We have 100% insurance as expats (including when we were in the US). No copays, no deductible, no “network” we had to use.

My dc had to have hep B and varicella (or in my case letter from dr saying they’d already had chickenpox) when we first arrived so they could start nursery/school. I think the requirements vary by state though. They were allowed to start as soon as they had had the first one, didn’t need to wait until they had completed the course.

[OlennasWimple]

I'd be relatively relaxed about the apartment living, assuming that the complex is well maintained and has good facilities

Check what "100% coverage" insurance means in detail. It'd be unusual to have no co-pays at all, for example - you might have a low deductable but higher co-pays

Check vaccination requirements - just because they are up to date in the UK doesn't mean that they are up to date in LA. This definitely matters for school enrollment, but we found that lots of day care and activity programs also asked to see a completed vaccination record in order to enroll

[Want2bSupermum]

Are they covering private PreK? Def worth asking because with twins it's not cheap to go privately. Locally to us here in North Jersey it was $20k a year per child for the decent option which had qualified teachers for 8am-2pm. No sibling discount. Luckily we have them in the state program which is free for those hours. Yes you can do the parent co-op preschools but honestly, you need the break and being honest I found the quality of many of the programs to be inferior.

Also, if they are insistent on you living in that complex check out the assigned schools. Do they have kindergarten? If so, is it a FT or PT program? If no kindergarten or a PT program will the company pay for private school?

[BlewGoose]

Life in the US is far easier. No one needs to make a parking diagram because there will be enough and you can even open your doors. Everything will be air conditioned. I've found people to be FAR more tolerant of kids. People will chat to your toddlers and coo over the baby. Target will be the best place you've ever been.

I'd question why it has to be that one apartment complex? Are they offering to pay for a scouting trip? You could use it to interview OBs and find out which areas you like etc. Maybe and interview some people to help with the kids because two 2 year olds and newborn sounds incredibly hard on your own.

[Lolly2803]

Thank you! So useful. I'm so nervous about it all. We have so much going on what with me being pregnant and we are renovating our UK house!

[BlewGoose]

Americans are overwhelmingly friendly. Making mum friends won't be a problem. Enroll the twins in a playschool scheme for a few hours each week and you'll meet loads. There will be Facebook groups.

[LittleMy77]

I'd search on FB for local mum groups to where the complex is; you're bound to find people with kids of similar ages that might be able to give you pointers on the area, social events etc

[Lolly2803]

Yer that's a good plan. I would love to make use of the beach and pool but just alone with them will be tricky but I have challenges like that here I guess just not beach and pool! Is it easy to meet people and make friends in L.A? Like Mum friends?

[BlewGoose]

Why does it have to be that complex? Plenty of places with private gardens to be had. Getting out anywhere with two year old twins and baby is going to be a challenge I think. Reigns for the twins?

[Lolly2803]

The complex living will be our permanent home while we are there so we won't have our own garden. It's just the being able to do things on my own with the twins that concerns me.