I know this has been done to death but I'd value some opinions.
Have 3 DC: 6, 3.5 and 1 (2 at Christmas). We're considering #4. It needs to happen in the next year or so for a number of reasons: desired gap between children, my age (am not old but not getting younger!) and my work situation.
I work p/t in my dream industry on a very flexible basis (from home, fit in the hours when I want, other than some fixed meetings for which I get notice). They can't afford me f/t so the plan is to keep p/t for a few more years to build up my cv and then look for a f/t role (by this point we'll likely have moved somewhere else with DH's job where there are more openings). The upshot being that the next few years are the right time to have another baby-after that I plan on working f/t and climbing the greasy pole...
DC1&2 are in full time school and (school) nursery. DC3 is in nursery 3 days/wk for me to work and she loves it so no qualms about having her there. We can afford another financially.
DH's chief concern is the first few years and the 'black hole' of new babies. We're just getting more sleep and slightly more calm in the house! I'm not worried about that: in my view it's short term pain for long term gain. I'd be the one most affected (I EBF) but obviously he'd also feel it so I don't want to diminish his fear in this respect.
I want a child rather than a baby (cute as they are), so am confident I'm not 'addicted' to babies and will keep wanting another newborn. Am obviously slightly anxious about something going wrong but I don't want to decide out of fear (I have no medical issues or history which wd increase my risk of something nasty happening). We've never tried for longer than a weekend to get pregnant (!) so am confident it'd happen pretty quickly.
Guess my question is, what are your thoughts? How do we decide if it's the right thing to do? We've asked ourselves lots of questions and keep going round in circles. There does feel like a gap, like there's a vacancy, but maybe there always will. Maybe I just want to climb the mountain because it's there... I'd be thrilled if I found out tomorrow I was pregnant but that's partly because I wouldn't have needed to make the decision ;)
Thoughts?
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To go for #4 or not?
7 replies
ricepolo · 26/09/2016 09:14
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