Which was harder 2-3 or 3-4?

[BarbieLovesKen]

We currently have 3 (dd1 is 6 next month, ds is 19 months and dd2 is just 14 weeks)

We've pretty much decided that (if we're lucky enough) we'll try for number 4 (but not until our youngest turns 2 for various reasons)

I'm aware our dd2 is still very small so maybe we don't have a true picture of things but so far are coping really really well with 3, take it all in our stride and are pretty much enjoying every minute.

I'm just wondering if I'm being very naive in thinking that if we're like this with 3, 4 will be fine for us or will it be the straw that broke the camels back so to speak? Is 4 a lot harder than 3?

Tia

[cazboldy]

I think 2 - 3 was the hardest - it was like everything doubled for some reason - washing, time needed to get ready etc....

after that the last 2 just got easier

am sure number 6 would be a doddle.....

just got to convince dh!

[purplepansy]

1-2 hardest, 2-3 hard. 3-4 a walk in the park. 4-5? hmmm think DH might divorce me!!

[ItWasThePenguins]

FateLovesTheFearless that's comforting. I had a tough time with first baby, right through first 9 months or so. Now DS is 20 months, just about sane enough to have another (2 days late atm, fingers crossed). I'm really hoping that it's going to be alot easier 1-2 than it was going 0-1.
I'd love a big family, but am really scared I can't take it! I'm, only 20, so a long time left yet.

[FateLovesTheFearless]

0-1 was hardest. I now have four and its never been as hard as going from 0-1. I dont find it hard having four at all except for maybe getting enough one to one time with each of them. I am a lone parent so thats not easy. I probably found the increase in housework the hardest as I hate housework and having 4 = a lot of mess.

[hollyw]

3-4 has been hardest for me. Partly due to a different age gap. DC 1 and DC 2 were about 2 1/2 when the next baby came long. When DC 4 came DC3 was 3 1/2. So we had to deal with a new baby followed shortly after by starting school. DC 3 is also more 'feisty' than the first two so 'played up' more.

I agree about the amount of washing - that does get me down if I'm having a bad day .... and nits is a nightmare!!

I think a lot of it is down to luck!DC 4 is an absolute poppet (atm!) and just fits in around everyone else. I don't know what I'd have done if she was a more 'needy' baby

Getting out of the house takes forever too

Worth it though :-)

[Nikna]

I am liking all the "2-3 easy" comments as that is the leap I am worrying about. My biggest worry is how we are going to get around in the car - do not want to have to buy a bigger car straight-away. Only way we can all fit is airbag switched off in front passenger seat for DS1, then DS2, baby in the back with me wedged in the middle. I was talking to a Mum of 4 the other day, they had only just bought a larger vehicle and up until then had been going on family outings in convoy!

[mum6mum]

yep 2-3 was hardest with 2 at least you have 2 hands, esp's when they were all under 5 ,but after a few months it gets easier and you wonder why you worried so much. any thing after 3 isnt as hard to adjust too .
congrates and good luck .

[bakingno4]

The hardest parts of going 3-4 are dealing with the emotions of 1-3 upon arrival of 4 since a lot less time to spend with them initially...! The amount of washing becomes surreal but apart from those two issues (and trying to do the school run on zero sleep) 3-4 is only slightly harder than 2-3.... Don't worry too much about it, like with 2-3 it's just a case of 'establishing routine'....!

[bakingno4]

The hardest parts of going 3-4 are dealing with the emotions of 1-3 upon arrival of 4 since a lot less time to spend with them initially...! The amount of washing becomes surreal but apart from those two issues (and trying to do the school run on zero sleep) 3-4 is only slightly harder than 2-3.... Don't worry too much about it, like with 2-3 it's just a case of 'establishing routine'....!

[fidelma]

0-1 a shock
1-2 the juggling started
2-3 easy
3-4 hard getting harder

i didn't see the hard work,emotional issues and the ammount of stuff in my house.i must of been in a milky haze!

[tizwas]

0-1 REALLY hard
1-2 fine
2-3 Tough at first but now (Dc1 -8 Dc2 -6 Dc3 -3) Much easier - my no.3 has been the easiest and most chilled out by far...to the point where I am considering a 4th...but so interesting reading all of the responses.

I hope it all works out for you.

[threecurrantbuns]

I know what you mean, when i start to worry i think very similar things, like im not sure i can do this all again, life is just getting easier, how will i manage or enjoy going all the way back to the start.

I think the first yr will be really tough but hopefully all worth it

[lollystix]

Thanks threecurrants - mine was unplanned and late diagnosed (15 weeks). Caused a bit of grief between dh and I at start. He's better about it now but we sort of don't discuss him IYKWIM - not like the other 3 which were planned. That's what makes me feel bad for the poor mite-I've just had these feelings of oh no not again - I'm not sure I'm up for this and then I feel sick for thinking that like I'm cursing it or something. Sounds silly but that's what I mean about the 'emotional' thing.

[threecurrantbuns]

Lolly, poor you I can really relate to your feeling every now and then on most days the reality hits me and bloody scares me.

Things have A way of working out but doesn't stop the worry.

Feel free to talk as much on here as you feel comfortable to. I know for me I'm struggling to admit my worry and panic in rl being as everyone knows this was a planned pregnancy I feel a bit that my feelings about it are now up and down

[lollystix]

I've been feeling really emotional for the first time in the last few days. Had to order cot mattress and buy baby stuff again and it freaked me out. Lady at work asked if I was excited and I said no which made me feel . I know I'll love him but just feeling bit ambivalent about it all - think cos other things going on location and jobwise which is leaving us uncertain.

[GaribaldiGirl]

The thing is, speaking as someone who's at the other end of the children at home thing (4 at school, just 1 at home), it all passes quickly. So even if you feel really overwhelmed for a few months just remember they'll be at school before you know it and then you'll probably feel a bit sad and wish you had them all back again (or want another baby!!!). I keep looking at my 2 year old and thinking how quiet and slightly boring it is with just one at home. Never thought i'd think that actually, maybe better get a dog!

[threecurrantbuns]

Lolly I'm glad its not just me that is in a bit of a panic I feel like I'm going to excited to terror to excited to what was I thinking.

Fingers crossed the worry will be worth it. But think the first year will be one hard slog.

[lollystix]

Imip - I'm in your boat - ds1 will be 5.2, ds2 will be 3.2 and ds3 will be about 19m when ds4 arrives in 4 weeks. Ds1 and 2 quite easy now but ds3 hard work. Saw a 17 day old today and whilst she was gorgeous I was filled with terror about the reality on the sleepless nights, constant feeding and washing and general chaos (all in winter in Scotland) that is about to hit us.

[imip]

Am currently preg with DC 4 and when s/he arrives dd1 will be around5y2m, dd2 3.5yrs and dd3 22 months. Even now I've found that it is not necc the no. of children but the stage they are at. I expect some times of having 4dcs will be easier than others, just as having 3dcs. I struggle at the park at the moment being pregnant and dd3 refusing to walk. She's at an awkward age, too young for lots of the things to be safe for her at the park. dd1 and 2 are old enough to just get on with it. When I make dinner, dcs watch tv. dd1 and 2 are nice and quet and dd3 now is watching tv a little more so that I don't have her wandering around hot oven wanting to be picked up. I'm trying not to panic too much about dc4. I know some parts of having four will be bloody difficult and life for the next 18 months will be hard. I see lots of mum friends now resting back with their older one or two while I am still madly on the go, but i don't think I'd trade my busy, chaotic and messy family for a much quieter one!

[appleandplum]

I'm expecting dc4 and will have 4 under 4.
Went from 1-3 with birth of twins when ds1 was only 2 and was very hard. Will it be easier going from 3-4 after already going from 1-3?

[ragged]

2-3 hardest. But Number 3 is character-building hardest kid to deal with, anyway.

[fourunderfive]

In our case, 0-2 (first set of twins) was much harder than 2-4 (second set of twins).

Once your home is overrun with the little blighters, a few more don't make much difference

[threecurrantbuns]

:( I'm really in a panic.

I will have three at home for the first 6months and all four for the summer holiday when baby will still only be a few months old.

Think I might have to look into a complete days a week at a holiday club over the summer for my eldest if she is happy to go that is.

Ps I don't get much housework done now so with four one being a newborn I really wouldn't worry. It is the homework I don't want to miss each day but can be hard to squeeze in

[4kidsnobump]

Am currently finding 3-4 much harder than 2-3 but that may be due to the fact that DC4 is only 5 weeks old!

At the moment it has gone from having a very small amount of time to myself to literally none and am finding it extremely difficult to fit in housework - although the oldest 2 are at school, things are just so hectic with the younger 2 in the day! Am hoping this phase will calm down, I guess once DC4 is a couple more months she will at least start going to bed at the same time as the others, so at least I will get a couple of hours in the evening.

So probably not what you want to hear, but I think you always just muddle through these things eventually! I always thought 4 was a better number than 3, as things are more even, so hoping my theory will be right once we have got through the hard 'little baby' stage!