Anyone with 4 or more kids in a 2 bedroomed house?

[nappyaddict]

Friend is pregnant with number 4 and is getting a lot of criticism because they only have a 2 bedroomed house. She is trying to ignore them cos it's really none of their business but she would like to hear from others in the same situation.

[juuule]

Cadmum I feel a little at your Canadian friend's house. Extra room would make our lives so much easier at the moment.

Kendodd How old are your children? If they are young then I can understand them all being fine in the one bedroom. We had 5 in one (not so large) bedroom at one point. They preferred it that way. However, once your children get older, dependant on their personalities, you might be very glad that you have those extra rooms.

[isitmidnightalready]

We have not quite so large a family in a 2 bed flat. We have 3DDs (12,10,5)who all share a large bedroom. They each have their own area with drawers etc - my eldest has a wardrobe and a plywood wall to give her some privacy, but they do quite like being in with each other. It gives the oldest 2 a chance to play at daft pretend games with the 5 year old, and play with her toys. There is an area of the room for toys and books.

We have the other huge bedroom, with a real fire and computer and 4m long sofa as well as our king size bed and numerous sets of drawers etc.

It's all quite sociable and nice for me as the kids can't just go and disappear into their room for hours on end.

We have a largish kitchen and a small hall/living room that has 5 doors off it, but has a small sofa and two chairs. We hardly use that room since we got rid of the telly (we now watch telly on the computer - DD has a laptop and we have a large screen and computer in our bedroom.

We do have a garage for the accumulation of crap, and a decent size garden for the guinea pigs. We have 2 budgies and a rabbit in the enclosed porch.

The house is large enough most of the time but does feel a bit cosy by the end of winter. But in spring, summer and autumn we just spread outside and there is loads of room.

ONe day the DD's may get fed up and the DH already says sometimes that we should move, but I am quite happy here for now.

Moving to somewhere small is excellent for reducing the amount of tat we own. We just don't have the storage space so I regularly cull the house for stuff to take to the jumble sale. We equally bring back lots of weird things from the jumble sale, but it is like a carousel and soon disappears back to the next one.

I like my life.

I was brought up in a bedroom with my sister who is 6 years younger and it was never an issue for us.

[Cadmum]

We currently live in a massive house because we are on a posting to South East Asia. Every child could have their own room but the girls share and ds2 spends most nights in with them as well.

When db#4 was born we lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment. The older three shared the master bedroom while dh, baby and I slept in the smaller one. We lived in Manhatten and might have spent two hours there each evening before bed.

How much space is actually required depends very much on the norm to which you have become accustomed.

In Cambodia, families live in one room huts and manage to share the space with extended family as well. In many parts of Europe a small apartment is all that families can afford...

I fully admit that my friends from Canada think that we are insane because they NEED a bedroom for each child, a playroom, a family room, a living room, a two car garage, a massive eat-in kitchen, a seperate dining room, a proper den. They would sooner die than have their washing machine in the kitchen and would not be able to function without the tumble dryer. Both machines are located in a designated laundry room and it is not uncommon to find two of each there. The house MUST also be located on a property large enough to have a trampoline and a climbing structure in the fenced-in back garden.
We gave up this very kind of house to live in NYC and my dcs were happier with Central Park, the subway and the museums.
The most important thing is that your friend, her dh and their children are happy. Nobody else really needs a vote.

[Dropdeadfred]

magnolia - you are definitely correct!! I really need to empty a leat one chest of drawers...I don't even know what's hiding in them!!

[jasper]

Not now but I grew up in a family with 4 kids in a one bedroom flat and an outside toilet.
Not that uncommon in the 60s.

We're all too bloody soft nowadays!

[Kendodd]

I have a large five bed house but my three DCs all share on bedroom, one of the smaller ones as well. We have one TV in the house in the living room.

I think people mix up what children need with what they want.

Although if they have children of different genders only two bedroom could be difficult when they are older. Are they all little?

[magnolia74]

Dropdeadfred, you need less 'stuff'

[magnolia74]

1 wardrobe is plenty for our clothes, 2 boxes in the bottom for underwear and shelf on top for extra. Dvd's are on a bookshelf in front room.Personal stuff is in baskets in wooden storage thing in kitchen and cabinets in bathroom and downstairs toilet.

[Dropdeadfred]

I admire your storage solutions...but our bedroom is huge and we hve 4 chests of drawers, 2 double wardrobes, a large bookshelf full of dvds and book etc and it still looks messy someimes...where do you put all your 'stuff'???

[magnolia74]

wardrobe

[magnolia74]

We have a wadrobe in the twins room (they have biggest bedroom with built in wadrobe) It fits all our clothes inc underwear.

[Dropdeadfred]

can I ask where all the parents sleeping in kithen diners/living rooms keep all their clothes and belongings?

[magnolia74]

We have 5 kids 2 adults, 1 dog, 1 cat in a 3 bed house.

Dd1 (15) has small box room

Twin girls (11) share a room

Ds1 (4) and dd4 (7) share a room

We have a large lounge and huge kitchen.

we have a massive sofabed in lounge and it works great.

We could move but we live in the middle of 3 excellent schools, 30 seconds from park and 2 roads from my lovely mum

[stressedHEmum]

I have 5 kids in a TINY 3 single bedroom house (biggest room 9ft square.) TBH, it's a nightmare. My 2 eldest boys are 20 and 18 and share the biggest room, DS3 and 4 share the next room, 8ft by 9ft, they are 14 and 8 so that is a big problem. Younger one is always disturbed by the older one at bedtime, older one has to curtail lots of his stuff because of younger one. DD(11) has the back room, 7ft x 9ft. None of them have any room to move, their is only room for bunks, small wardrobe and a bookcase in the rooms. This leaves a narrow path for them to walk in and out of their rooms. They can never have sleepovers, it's difficult for them to have friends round, they have no room for toys (those that want them.)

DH and I sleep on a sofa bed in the dining area of the kitchen (the living room isn't big enough to accommodate a sofa bed as well as the other furniture). This means that we have nowhere to eat as a family, because there's no room for a bed and a table (again room 9ft square.) We have to wait for the older kids to go up to their rooms before we go to bed, which is a problem now that they are older, although mostly they are very considerate and go up around 10-10.30 to do their thing in their room. We never get a lie-in and are often wakened during the night because we sleep in the kitchen and folks need food/drinks. We have no privacy, nowhere to store our clothes (house has no cupboards)and no space that is ours, neither do any of the children really. It's not good and really bad for our health, physical and mental.

4 kids in a 2 bed is fine if the rooms are a decent size, storage isn't a problem and the kids are small. It becomes more of a problem if their is a larger age gap or when the kids get bigger and want their own space.

At the end of the day, it's no-one's business but your friend's and her husband's, but they need to think long term. What's OK with very little kids can be a nightmare when those kids grow up a bit.

[juuule]

"Our bed does'nt come out till all the children are in bed"

This could be a problem once the children get older. Potential to be waiting to get the bed out until the early hours with older teens. Something to bear in mind.
I realise that as you (tinkerbell) are moving to a house with another bedroom this isn't going to be an issue.

[tinkerbellgotpan]

There's 6 of us in a 2 bedroom house.Myself and DP and 4 DC 12,9,7 and 3.I've had people who don't know us and who don't know what the inside of our house look's like say how awfull!But people who do and have been in our house are amazed by how clean and organised our house is.Our children have the bedrooms,they all have they're own bedroom furniture.The bedroom's are decorated so they each have they're own stamp on they're room.They all have they're own toy storage and we have a lot of toys!:).They all have shelfs for special little things they want to display.And they all have book shelfs in the bedrooms,and we also have a large bookcase in the frontroom.We have a hanging space for all our coats and we have shoe racks.Being organised and knowing were everythink is is the key.Were lucky that we have a large back garden so are able to have a swing set,slide,built in sandpit and seesaw.The garden is fantastic for when we have sunshine I did say when :).As for me and DP we sleep in the frontroom on a kingsize double height electric air bed.Our bed does'nt come out till all the children are in bed.Then in the morning we put the bed and bedding away upstairs in a cupboard.We're moving this year,which will be great for all of the children.I beacme seriously ill last year and am now disabled so we need a bedroom!:).Tell your friend to ignore them!They don't live in her house so don't know how it works.And as long as your kids feel loved and our secure.Home is where your heart is xx

[mumtofourboys]

we have 4 dc's in a 2 bed house they are aged 10,8,6 and 4 the oldest dosent like sharing much but he copes and if they want time on their own their is the kitchen my bedroom the garden go out for a walk or pay in the park we cope very well and me and dh have no plans to move and it makes us a close family cause we are always around each other which is great

[mamatomany]

She might be ok if she owns the property but we discovered when we considered renting that landlords don't like large numbers of people in properties built for 2 or 3 it disproportionally affects the wear and tear.
I really think you need to consider worse case scenario's

[juuule]

I think it depends on the personalities of the children. Some wouldn't be bothered with the closeness of other family members. The problems arise when you have a child who is bothered by it. Unfortunately at the time of conception it's difficult to know what personality the child will have.
So, whether it would be a problem or not would depend on the child/ren.
Lack of space can be difficult for some the older they get.

[CherryTheRedNosedMonster]

i had 4 dc's in a 2 bed flat. as well as 3 adults. partner (now ex) and i had a double bed behind the sofa in the living room (17x14 feet), dd2's cot in other corner of living room. 2 ds's (7 and nearly 5 at the time) and dd1 (1 year at the time) in the big bedroom (14x12 feet) and dsis in the small bedroom (9x8 feet). moved from there when dd2 was 5 months into a 4 bed house which was nice. it was cramped in the flat, but we got some really good storage solutions, and we managed.

[goodluck]

I remember quite a few parents sleeping downstairs when IO was growing up. I don't know anyone else doing that now though.

[goodluck]

My friend has four in a two bed. Three boys in the big front room, their daughter in the box room and they have a sofabed downstaits. They do find it very hard tbh.

[tummytickler]

I agree with Durham - I would be gutted too. Why have a large family if you are going to spend all you together time in separate rooms because you have no family room?
You could just put a ban on bedroom tv's. Mine are well aware that they will never be allowed a tv in their room.
I am sorry, but it seems like a terrible shame. (and my eldest is 10, so not far off being a teenager)

[thisisyesterday]

oh any my friends 4 eldest are all teens and tbh the kids are fab. they don't mind at all

[thisisyesterday]

a friend has 8 children in what is, officially, a 2 bed flat!!!

they have obviously converted other areas, such as the kitchen/diner, to make more sleeping areas, but it's still small