Is there any point in us going to the NHS appointment?

[EL8888]

This week we have our 1st NHS gynaecology appointment to investigate our failure to conceive. Could l have some honest advice if us attending is a waste of time? Our respective GP’s have done various tests but don’t seem to know what they are doing or how to interpret results. We paid for some private tests which found no issues with either of us. Our local area won’t fund IVF for women over 40 (lm 6 months from 40) and they will only give 1 round once you have been trying for 3 years (we have been trying for just over 1 year)

[EL8888]

@ChilliMum exactly this. We went with zero expectations

[EL8888]

Thanks for everyone’s advice. They were very helpful and the doctor has prescribed me some . Like the doctor we saw privately then from viewing our results he thinks it’s unexplained infertility

The waiting room was fun as it was a general “woman’s clinic” they were running and bar the staff l was the only non-pregnant woman in there

[Hawse]

OP, I was told by my doctor that as long as you are referred before the cut off date, you are still eligible. So I wouldn't worry about turning 40. The GP also mentioned that they do make allowances, so while they may state that they want you to have been trying for 3 years, they might bend the rules if you have a good enough reason (I am not sure about this one and how it actually works, but it doesn't hurt to ask).

[ChilliMum]

I would go but with low expectations.

The consultant I had was exactly like you worry about. He ordered multiple test which showed no problems. He actually told me to relax and he was sure the next time he saw me I would be pregnant!!

Slightly different situation I had secondary infertility 3 years trying with 2 confirmed plus possible multi early miscarriages.

On my 4th or 5th appointment (it's all abit blurry now) my consultant was on holiday and I saw his cover. She was fabulous took one look at my history, said no one should suffer like this prescribed me clomid and told me that on my next positive test I was to come straight in and they would prescribe aspirin.

Ds was born a year later. But even if he hadn't it was really great to have my concerns taken seriously and get some decent advice. There are some great doctors out there, it's worth a try.

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

I'm in two minds......Assuming all your other tests have come back normal - sperm / AMH etc then I'm not sure I would bother? Especially if you can't self fund private ivf and you're not eligible on the NHS anyway - see the year out trying naturally if that's when your DH has agreed up to then try and move on and put ttc behind you x

[CatInADoghouse]

I would go just to keep my options open. If you don't then you're committing yourself to paying private only as they would refer you back to your GP and you would go back to the bottom of the list. I did both. I had some private tests and was prescribed tamoxifen but at the same time the NHS was faffing with one of the tests (which is why I got annoyed and went private). I took the private result to my NHS appointment and they prescribed clomid. I wasn't wasting time then and had the medication to cover more cycles. We were very lucky and managed to conceive with one cycle of tamoxifen. My problem was that I wasn't ovulating due to too much oestrogen.

[justasking111]

I have PCOS, meaning two periods a year if I was lucky my wonderful gp prescribed clomid. Is this an option for you OP?

[Ginger1982]

@EL8888 well then I would go. If you don't, it'll always nag at you what might have happened if you had (or it would nag at me!)

[EL8888]

@Ginger1982 not really. Ironically this is compounded by the poor wage l get working for the NHS

[EL8888]

@Embri oh and liking the jar idea!

[Ginger1982]

Are you in a position to pay privately?

[HunterAngel]

I would attend the appointment. DH and I did the same circus of tests with the GP who told us nothing was wrong. Finally got referred to the infertility clinic who ordered more tests and surprise surprise there was an issue with DH due to a pre existing condition which the GP was fully aware of. We were referred for ICIS IVF and were extremely luckily to conceive on the first round. DS is now seven months old and makes the two years of poking, prodding and questioning all worth it.

Good luck OP, I really hope it works out for you

[LillyLeaf]

We waited ages for our first NHS appointment, it was such a disappointment. The doctor told us nothing is wrong and to go on holiday and RELAX and come back in 9 months for IVF if we weren't pregnant. We went private instead. So much less stress.

[Waterdropsdown]

In my experience NHS was total waste of time. If time was not on my side I would not bother with it.

[EL8888]

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF because it will be more of my time wasted with a side order of late appointments / repeated pointless tests / no conclusive answers / frustrating protocols dreamt up by my penny pinching CCG / more confusion / less clarity

[CestCeleste]

I totally know what you mean. I’ve had a few weekends where I just wanted to stay in bed all weekend as was so fucking pissed off with the whole process.
I kept saying to my DH let’s just decide we don’t want kids as that will be actually easier to deal with that this being in limbo.
However I have got to a place where I am not that hopeful but want to keep trying.

[EL8888]

@Teddybear45 yeah l have heard that’s the case. They won’t even offer us that but cynically l think it would be a waste of time / tick box exercise even if they did

[EL8888]

@CestCeleste lm not doubting it, l don’t want to continue and haven’t for a while. DP wants to continue and we had agreed to try until the end of the year. I still want to have a baby but lm sick of wasting my time and lm sick of the eating healthy / little drinking / being stuck in limbo etc. The constant disappointment is crushing

[Alpacaface]

I would go. I'm not sure what tests you've already had, but they might offer you a laparoscopy to look for endometriosis if you haven't already had one. My consultant already knew I had endometriosis because they found it during surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. But the first thing she suggested was a laparoscopy to treat the endometriosis. Ultimately they couldn't treat it surgically as it was too deep, and I went on 3 months of drug treatment prior to IVF to lessen it. I should stress that despite pretty severe endometriosis I had none of the classic symptoms. So worth asking about perhaps? Good luck.

[CestCeleste]

@Teddybear45 what is level 1/2 testing?

[CestCeleste]

@Ragdolly - presumably with donor eggs? Think it would be unlikely to be her own eggs at 52.

It’s a positive story don’t get me wrong but a lot of people want to be able to use their own eggs

[Teddybear45]

The NHS cycle, to put it bluntly, is a waste of time for older women. I bloody wish I didn’t waste my time with mine and went straight to private - the most valuable thing for me were the Level 1/2 testing that found all the problems the NHS should have but didn’t even test for. I wish I’d paid to have them instead of the NHS cycle - I might have gotten my bfp sooner.

[EL8888]

@Embri that’s what l am anticipating; lots of procrastination, repeated tests and long has between appointments. That’s been the flavour of what my GP have been like. So that’s why l am thinking why bother

Good luck with it all.