NHS or private? 17 months and still no closer to being pregnant

[ShortyK]

Hello all,

I'm sorry in advance if I am posting in the wrong place, or if there are already similar threads but I would really value any advice people have to offer.

I'm 29 and my husband is 32 and we have been trying to get pregnant ever since we got married in December 2013. After 17 months we are still yet to be successful. I found out last November that I have pcos and my husband has also had 2 sperm analysis tests which both say he has low motility. I have only just received a letter for an nhs referral for a 'pre assessment' appointment at the 'nurse led fertility assessment clinic' at the local hospital in late August!

I feel as if I have been waiting so long and the thought of waiting another 4 months feels rather frustrating.

Are any of you in a similar position?

Although my doctors surgery has been very helpful, when I questioned whether or not to go private, they said I was the right age to qualify for nhs treatment and that it can all get very expensive very quickly when you are footing the bill.

Also, with my pcos and my husband's low motility will they prescribe a drug like clomid, or will they suggest going straight for an ivf-type procedure?

I don't know what the best decision is. A friend of mine has pcos, went private, got prescribed clomid and 4 weeks later was pregnant! I know I might not be that lucky but not sure I have the patience to wait 4 long months before even being seen by someone on the nhs. Or should I just sit tight, focus on healthy eating, exercise, etc.

Any thoughts, advice and suggestions would be most welcome.

Thanks,

Shorty K

[ShortyK]

Hi Vap,

I'm not sure if you're still on the infertility boards but if you are, how is your ttc journey going? Did you get your bfp?!

Unfortunately, my bmi has increased from 31 to 32 . I'm finding weight loss really difficult. Maybe my pcos is not helping. I went for an hsg a couple of weeks ago, day 2-5 blood tests and dh has a 3rd sperm analysis.

We have a follow up app tomorrow so we'll get the results then. I was hopeful for clomid but now with my lack of weight loss and if dh's sperms are still low motility and morphology-wise, then I don't know what they will suggest... Lose weight probably! We'll consider private more seriously if the Dr says I can get clomid but only with a lower bmi because I know private are less strict with weight. (Obviously, I know being slimmer would be more idea for a viable pregnancy.)

Anyway, hope you are well!

Shorty

[Vap0]

Hi shorty time does seem to tick by slowly! Great news about your appointments. A stone to lose? That's tough! I hope you manage to get there in time for if you need your clomid.

I'm still in my 2ww, should know by Thursday either way. Sore boobs today which is a good sign, but could just be reminding me af is on her way.
I'm now down to 12.6.6 (lowest yet) which is good considering how many meals out I've eaten, although haven't had a drink for 12 days (not that I'm counting) so expected it to have been a quicker drop. You never know, another weekend of not drinking may well help drop the lbs a little quicker...

Hope your appointment goes well!

I'll update on Thursday

[ShortyK]

Hello!

This has felt like the longest 3 weeks in the world. I had my appointment this morning at the fertility clinic and she took all my history and dh's history. Then she said I need to have an HSG and more blood tests but that depended on when I started my next period. I was on cd 35 and they can range from 28-79 days so I thought I could be waiting ages and had been reading about difficulties getting appointments because they're always booked up. Anyway, when I got home I realised I started af! Rang the place immediately and they had an appointment in two weeks! The lady also said I was lucky because they're like gold dust and it must be that everyone is away for half term. I'm really pleased.

Obviously I don't have clomid yet but I definitely feel one step closer.

Weight loss is not going so well and she said I need to lose a stone but I definitely feel I have even more of an incentive. I just find it so hard.

Hope you're tww is going ok Vap. God, can it drag on. Fingers crossed you will get a bfp.

[Vap0]

Hi

He didn't like that I took a suppliment and also I told him I ovulated on the soy he also didn't want to go down the clomid route as I had just ovulated, hence the 3 month wait. I dont know what he would have done if i had told him i had taken the soy and hadn't ovulated, maybe he would have said he wasn't surprised as soy is a source of progesterone so of course you didn't ovulate, come back in 3 months. Basically my dr loves to send you away for 3 months at any opportunity so won't be jeapordising any of this again.

I called and have managed to bring the appointment to 3 months in stead of 4.

Anyway, this month without any soy or anything at all I did in fact ovulate. I think the dreaded depo has finally left my system. Ovulated a couple of days ago so now in the 2ww. Fingers and toes crossed this time... AF due early June.

My hopes are that if I do continue to ovulate until my next appointment then I will hopefully get caught. If not then hopefully the dr will do something to help although I'm not holding my breath. I should imagine his comment will be, oh, you've been ovulating, great, come back in 3 months then a letter will arrive for 4 months. I know the pattern now...

The weight loss has been slow! I started in jan and have lost 1st 4lbs, most of which I lost in the 1st month. Not drinking for a couple of weekends on the 2ww will help me to lose more. I read that people can put on up to 4st in weight when pregnant. Yikes! I hope I don't! I have a friend who has already put on 2st and is only in month 4...

Good luck with the continued weight loss. It is tough!

Do update with your appointment next week! Hope you get things moving.

Also, I'm in the hopeful I'm pregnant camp this month too! Fingers crossed for both of us

[ShortyK]

Hi Vap,

Why did your doc say you couldn't have clomid after taking soy?! I haven't taken it as I'm on cd 28 (who knows how long this cycle will be) so was planning to take the soy on my next cycle Unless of course I have clomid, which is unlikely!

I have an appointment next week at the fertility clinic which is with a nurse, so not due what she'll say but hopefully they'll book me in to check my Fallopian tubes aren't blocked, or something similar.

Weight loss is I have been following low gi and feel loads better for it but have also had a hen do and a wedding which obviously makes things more difficult in terms of shifting extra lbs. Also, my pcos seems to stop me losing weight as quickly as I used to. I've lost a few lbs but nothing like the stone I envisaged I could lose in a couple of weeks.

Still debating whether or not to go private but will wait and see what happens at the nhs appointment next week. I'll ask about time frames and then consider my options. Sometimes I feel... well I waited this long so another month or two won't hurt and then I think... well I wanted to be cradling my baby a year ago and I'm not even close to being pregnant, so I can't wait another minute! It's so confusing at times.

I ov'd cd 20 on13.5.15 so fingers crossed I might be pregnant (that's wishful thinking) but I've tried accunpuncture, which I loved, low gi diet and generally not trying to stress. I'm now trying to think positively and saying to myself if I try something new each month then something will eventually happen. I'm not sure I'm ready to accept that I might need ivf yet but who knows.

Within 3lbs of your weight goal is great! :) You have plenty of time to lose more before August but hopefully you can bring your appointment forward.

x

[Vap0]

shorty when you have your appointment don't tell your dr if you took your soy! I stupidly told mine and now can't have clomid for another 3 months
Next appointment is booked for 3rd August which will actually mean it is 4 months as will be 4 days too late to take clomid for 3rd cycle. Will try to bring it forward.
How is the weight loss going?
I did manage to get down to 12.7 (within 3 lbs of goal) but just been away for a week boozing and eating with work and back up to 12.10.4 so still 6.4lbs for me to lose for them to be happy! I'm sure I'll be well under that for my next appointment. In fact I'm hoping to be under 12 in 3 months.
Any updates?

[ShortyK]

P.S Apologies for all the typos before. I really need to reread what I type before pressing the enter button!

[ShortyK]

Thanks for all the info everyone.

Belkin - I will definitely check out that app. I need all the help I can get to lower my bmi in 3 weeks!

Icy - Thanks for your comprehensive list of what you've had so far. Really interesting to see. Can't believe that clomid is only actually £25(!) and all the money goes else where. It certainly does seem to get expensive quickly. I think I'll see what happens at the nhs appointment now it's much sooner and then decide. Sorry you're not pregnant. It can be so frustrating sometimes. My friends seem to have all fallen pregnant after a couple of weeks!

Naty -I used to think I'd want 3 children but right now I just want one! Certainly something to consider though. I hadn't really thought about future treatments.

[Naty1]

Also to consider is if you want a dc2 and if you went private whether you can afford more treatment for that.
As theyve identified a sperm issue it may be that they go straight to ivf, depending on how severe it is.
I did low gi but mainly switched to brown bread, rice, pasta. And for that sort of food had a side plate.

[icy121]

Hi OP.

We went private after 9 months. It's bloody expensive. I've been diagnosed with pcos, so this is what we've (I've) done so far:

• initial consultation £250
  
• blood tests (glucose tolerance, androgen and one more o can't remember): £750
  
• follow up consultation £120
  
• clomid £25
  
• tracking scans with nurse £90 a pop (I've ha about 5)
  
• 3rd consultation after clomid hasn't worked £120. He did a scan £80. Use of the clinics scanner £90
  
• 21 day blood test £45
  

So far, so not pregnant.
OH semen analysis is next (he had 2 kids already) £145
Then consultant wants to drill my ovaries. Christ knows how much that will cost. Going to see if I can spin it so bupa pays, but doubt they will.

So yes, costs rack up very, very quickly. and still not fucking pregnant. Being barren is fucking awful,

[belkins]

Have you tried the myfitnesspal app? It won't be much help for the GI side of things but I loved using it when I was watching my weight because you can scan your food in and someone else has already calculated the stats (calories etc) from it. It was just really handy to keep a close eye on how many calories I was eating.

[ShortyK]

Thanks! I guess I just called at the right time and there had been a cancellation or something. You're right Vap0. That's was the only downside for getting a new appointment so soon. I have been low giing it all day. I've ordered a recipe book to help too and keep googling everything before I eat it. I'm finding quite hard to work out which foods are have a low gi though and had no idea that carrots would change once cooked! Mind boggling stuff to me at the moment!

Failing that, maybe I'll just eat lettuce leaves for a few days before I go!

[Vap0]

Oh my gosh shorty that is amazing! I wished I had called early on to bring mine forward. I only learned that trick for this last appointment Never been as successful as you and had one in 3 weeks. Well done!
I will be pushing every time from now on.
Get dieting now so your bmi doesn't slow you down. Don't mean to be bossy. Good luck

[belkins]

Brilliant news Shorty, well done on being proactive. Sometimes just plucking up the courage to make that call can be daunting enough, but look at the result! Three weeks will zoom by!

[IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat]

That is fab news ShortyK. I'm so happy for you. Three weeks is much better. Hope you get some answers soon. Good luck!

[ShortyK]

Thanks so much for suggesting I ring and change the appointment - I now have one in three weeks! I'm so happy, can't believe I don't have to wait months .

[ShortyK]

Yes, hopefully it will be me In the mean time I have acupuncture, soy and low gi to try so maybe, just maybe I'll see a positive line in the not too distant future. I'm certainly feeling proactive today!

[IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat]

That's fab Shorty. I hope you really enjoy it & it makes a difference. Fingers crossed for some good news soon.

I felt like it was something proactive I could do to help & that gave me a bit more patience. Try the hospital again tomorrow - some people will get pregnant while on the waiting list (hopefully you!) so there should be a cancelation along soon

[ShortyK]

I'm keen to give anything a try and have just booked my first session next Saturday :) I'm very excited. The lady sounded very nice and says she's treated lots of women with pcos so fingers crossed.

Also, tried to ring to see if I can change my appointment but gave up after half an hour of waiting. Must be the bank holiday.

[IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat]

It was fairly relaxing although an hours drive each way for a half hour appointment on a Friday night wasn't ideal.

It was the difference it made to my cycle that was great. I started to ovulate D12/13 instead of D20+ after about 3 sessions. And got down to a consistent 27 day cycle.

I'm 100% convinced it's made the difference between us getting pregnant & not. I know it's a bit airy fairy for some people but i wasn't keen to go down the medical route until I'd tried some alternatives.

[ShortyK]

Thanks. I'll give them a ring tomorrow, though it might be closed on a bank holiday.

Good luck for the 11th. I'll be interested to know how you get on.

Think positive thoughts

Shorty

[Vap0]

Good luck
I'd still call to try to bring your appointment forward. May save you a few weeks of waiting.

[ShortyK]

VapO - Soy ordered! I'll let you know how I get on. Only on cd 10 now though so might have to wait a while before I try it (unless by some miracle I get a bfp). To get a bmi of 29.9 I need to lose 1st 2lbs but I think it's reasonable to think I can do that healthily in 3 months. Also, becuase of a recent bereavement I have been comfort eating so if I stop eating biscuits and cakes, it shouldn't be too hard to shift! I hope not anyway! I definitely have more of an incentive now I know I won't be entitled to anything whilst I'm carrying extra lbs.

Tootsiepops - Thanks for the link. I've just been looking into my ccg and now I have another dilemma! I recently moved but I haven't changed gps because it's convenient to get to from work and I've been there since I was a child. I have just read up on their assisted conception policy though and I would be entitled to 1 fresh cycle of ivf where as if I moved gps to where I live now I would be entitled to 2. The dilemma I have though is would I have to start all over again in terms of going to the new gp and getting referred? The treatment would still happen at the dame hospital as before. Or should I wait until I have the initial appointment and then tell them I have moved? So confusing.

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat - Sorry about your mc. It must be a good feeling to be pregnant again. Congratulations. Did you find acupuncture relaxing? I think I will def look into it.

[IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat]

Hi Shorty, DH & I are similar ages to you & your DH. We got pregnant within 6 months initially after I came off the pill Jan '14 but I MC'd & it completely messed up my cycles. We spent next 12 months trying but ovulation was too late in my cycle to allow anything to happen and the length of my cycles was all over the place.

I felt the NHS route was moving too slowly for us but my GP was v blasé about it all. I decided at start of this year to go for acupuncture privately with someone who specialises in fertility. After 3 or 4 sessions my cycles became a regular 27 days & ovulation moved to mid cycle like it should have been.

If your on the fence about waiting til August or going private I'd recommend something like that? We're now 7 weeks pregnant & i'm so glad we did it this way.

Hope you get some answers soon. Have you phoned to say you'll take a cancellation if there is one?

[Tootsiepops]

Thanks :) Yes - we were lucky on our first go at ivf. Still can't believe it.

I was in and out of the NHS system for more than a year, but my treatment was rudely interrupted by an ectopic pregnancy.

I think generally, once you get to your first appointment and you meet the qualifying criteria, treatment can move quite quickly.

You might find this website useful if you're in England. You can look up your CCG and see which clinics you'd likely be referred to, and then you can cross reference the clinics with the hfea website to see roughly what the waiting lists are like.

www.fertilityfairness.co.uk/nhs-fertility-services/ivf-provision-in-england/

//www.hfea.gov.uk

That's assuming you get moved straight along to ivf. There's a chance they might ask your partner to make some lifestyle changes and do another sperm analysis in three months, then, if there's been an improvement, they might try you on clomid first.