"I do feel strongly that I should be the one at home caring for my babies"
I am not criticizing at all, but I am interested in why you say that.
My husband, who made the choice actively to go part time to share our daughter?s care, does sometimes feel (although is an arrogant sod and dismisses it out of hand!) that there is a hierarchy of childcare, with Mother followed by father, followed by grandparents, followed by nanny, childminder, nursery. I can understand the arguments and research people bring forth about the use of outside care (we both wanted to avoid outside childcare and have no family to help) but a father is an equal parent and I can?t understand why a committed father is seen by some as ?second best??
When we passed the age of 15 months and she didn?t need to be attached to my breast quite so much the transition was easier than I thought. It helped that when she was born he cut his hours anyway so was around until midday for everyday of her life and was very attached.
He takes her to playgroups, park, zoo/science museum/aquarium every day. He is teaching her to read. He cooks with her, paints etc. He even wears her in a sling for every nap (she?s two) and co-sleeps with her when I?m on super earlies or a rare overnight.
He is also calmer than me and brings his different personality to the role of parent. It?s amazing to see.
I can?t see anything he can?t do that is less than ideal. I still breastfeed (she?s only just past 2 years) but not every single night and she doesn?t miss it as I cut out day feeding a while back.
Sorry, bit of a hijack. Guess I wonder why people necessarily think father's aren't as ideal as mothers.