Cleaner overfamiliar

[Softie74]

Hi there,
So I have a very sweet cleaner... but the personality is becoming a bit much. She talks a lot. Anywhere from 25 minutes to an hour some days. Given that i work from home this is only ok when its quiet. When I'm busy, not so much. This wasn't an issue for me, I like the company. But recently she's become very bossy. I got told what kind of products I need to buy, from appliances to storage and she's recently been texting very insistently with random snippets and insisting I respond immediately (please confirm you received this text, sent among three other texts, 4 missed calls and 3 whatsapps) in the space of half an hour... this kind of response isn't always possible and I'm also a very private person. I'm finding it horribly intrusive and I'm really not looking forward to her next shift. She's also fairly clumsy and isn't prepared to replace what she breaks. She's a good cleaner but she's starting to intrude on my personal space in a way I'm really not comfortable with. Not sure what to do. If I speak to her about it she'll just get confrontational and leave. If I don't, she'll keep behaving like we're close friends or something (something she said this week as well) and I'm really not feeling it. I have three really close friends and I keep myself to myself. In short, she's scaring me a bit. What do I do? 😣

[AlternativeTentacle]

you need to no longer require her services.

[Softie74]

Do I explain? Or just say I don't need a cleaner anymore? (Im awful at lying.) She's the kind of person who will demand an explanation and I DO need a Cleaner, just prefer the professional distance.

[AlternativeTentacle]

personally i dont want anyone in my house that scares me, but it is your decision to make.

[Softie74]

You're right. It's clear it's not working. Thank you for being so candid. I was hoping I could keep her and just get her to respect my boundaries but she's already well beyond that. I need to not require her services any more. :( Advice much appreciated!

[DanglyEarOrnaments]

We have a cleaning business and would never allow staff to behave in an intrusive manner like this. It's extremely unprofessional. Cleaning is a highly personal service and clients trust us in their homes, we have to touch and see all of their things and discretion is an essential part of the service.

In your shoes I would tell her that your circumstances have changed and you can no longer afford the cleaning. Tell her thank you for everything and wish her well and then block her from all phone and social media etc.

Nobody gets to invade my privacy and I certainly would not want to pay for someone to intrude in my space like that.

[keepingbees]

I wouldn’t have her back. If she’s employed by a company I would request a different cleaner and tell them why

[Softie74]

Thanks for the messages... update: I've let her go. She's not employed by a company. I hired her directly. (She used to work for a cleaning company I used.) I couldn't deal with the continuous intrusion anymore. I think I'm going to see if I can keep up with the cleaning on my own for a while. After her I need a bit of a break!

[GoulishGoblinPumpkinSnatcher]

Shame, as if she would just have done her job she would still be employed. She clearly thought you was over friendly etc, so this can easily be mistaken for a friendship when you was her employer and nothing more. What did you say to her btw?

[TheLegendOfBeans]

This sounds like the cleaner I used to have. We cut ties with her as we were leaving to move abroad. Then our date was deleted last minute.

She saw me out and about locally and bombarded me with “why you let me go” texts as she thought I’d done a number on her.

Nice lady, waaaaaay out of line to do a load of sad face texts and when she was employed by me sounds identical you your (now ex) cleaner

[TheVanguardSix]

I never have cleaners anymore for this reason OP! My last 3 cleaners were exactly like this. Just way too familiar. I haven't had a cleaner for ages. I hate cleaning but it's better than the stress that comes with an overly invasive cleaner. All 3 were agency cleaners. One of mine took a lease on a flat and literally hounded me to be her guarantor. My whatsapp was exploding. That was awkward.
I just stopped with the cleaners completely.

[wobblywonderwoman]

Good for you softie
You were paying her for a service. She had no right to intrude. Friendly chat, maybe a quick cup of tea on occasion - perhaps. That was awful. I'm sure you will find someone much better

[MakeMisogynyAHateCrime]

I'm glad you took swift action OP.

[DanglyEarOrnaments]

To be truthful some of the cleaners we've had working in our company in the past have become over-familiar and over intrusive with me (not the clients as the clients would report them to us as we are a fully-managed service).

Those types of cleaner would pm on my private facebook account out of hours asking for all sorts such as advance on wages and/special things just for them etc wanting to be the favourite and 'my friend'.

I have managed this now by never adding new staff on facebook and putting a manager between myself and the staff, she is literally only on duty during office hours and they have no access to me except via her so it stays strictly professional. My next goal is to afford an assistant for the office manager and grow from there, then they cannot get to close with just one person in any case.

Even if I had no cleaning company i would never feel comfortable hiring a cleaner directly (or just from an agency which is almost the same thing) because I'm a very private person and cannot handle too much intrusion. I would only ever hire cleaners via c company like ours who directly manage the staff for me. That's why I chose this business model and not the agency model, as this is what I would like provided for myself if I were the person wanting a cleaner.

Years ago, when i was building my business and I was the cleaner going into people's homes I wouldn't have dreamed of pushing for more than whatever relationship felt comfortable with them. In fact clients sometimes told me all THEIR personal stuff, which to me crossed a bit of a line as I was there in a professional capacity and not as a friend and I needed to complete all of my work not just chat, but even that is quite different to a cleaner crossing lines when they are being paid to do a job in someone's home, especially if the person is stuck there trying to work from home.

It needs a firm handling and they need to learn how to provide a more professional service than that.

[Ttbb]

Just find someone else. There's sonething but quite right there, the longer she stays the more likely it is that she will cause a serious problem for you.

[Softie74]

Thanks for the insight, ladies... TBH, She already caused problems for my friend as well... she cleans there too... broke stuff (she does this every so often) and initially said she'd cover the cost of it. And then turned around and said she decided she wasn't going to and if he wanted her to pay she'd leave. So I'm just relieved she's gone now. A bag full of issues.

[Phalenopsisgirl]

Not called Rachel by chance? she sounds exactly like my old cleaner, she was mad. If she wasn’t talking nonsense, she was selling you Herbalife