A housekeeping thread for those with NO motivation....

[lovelycats]

Good morning all!

I would like to start a thread for the domestically challenged and those who lack motivation to do ANYTHING.

I have battled with mild to moderate depression, with a sprinkling of anxiety, for about 10 years. My mood is cyclical, and two or three times a year I sink. There is comfort in the regularity of these moods, because I know that it will end at some point. I know that for many people, this is not the case. I feel 100% better when my home is clean and tidy, but there are days that I could quite easily stay in bed and avoid looking at it.

This thread is not just for those with mental illness. Whatever is stopping you from having your home the way you want it is a welcome discussion here.

I would like to point out that I am not a mental health professional, nor am I a cleaner or organiser (dream job - just not organised enough though!). I like Flylady and have also recently found a useful resource for those with depression and anxiety, which is particularly useful for those who are struggling to get out of bed.

First day of tackling the mess

I decided last night that I would start today. I woke at 7am and debated not bothering (good start...). I spent an hour procrastinating and working up to having a shower and getting 'fixed up' as Fly lady would suggest. A shower is a great first step, I have to agree with most of the plans I've read that start with showering and getting dressed - you feel fresh and awake. I have compromised and showered, dressed and tied my wet hair up. Basically, I am at the stage that I would be happy answering the door!

My house is not going to be magically immaculate by the end of the day. This may take me weeks, but I'm going at my own pace. Every little task complete makes me feel more normal. I am focussing on getting all of the laundry up-to-date (this could take days); then some ruthless decluttering/binning; putting away and finding a home for things; finishing with a good clean/hoover.

So far:
-load of washing on
-dishwasher emptied and loaded
-plan some dinner tonight for DH and I, and defrost something. I always forget to take whatever I need out of the freezer. At about 4pm I usually realise this, swear a lot, then order a takeaway
-cup of tea!

Job I'm dreading the most today - the recycling needs to be sorted and put out. We have to separate our own recycling into 5 different types, 5 different boxes/bins for the bin men. I HATE doing this. DH does it regularly, but I'd like to do it today.

Would anyone like to join me?

[slightlysoreboobs]

In case I haven't said, or it's not obvious, my plan is to get as much unnecessary stuff as possible out of the house, so that doing every day tasks feels easier i.e. climbing over piles of things to get the washing from the washing machine to the tumble drier makes what ought to be an easy job, into what feels like an enormous task. If there's just less stuff, I hope I'll feel less stressed. That's my hope anyway!

Other ta dahs:

2 washes done
Making lunch for kids
Kitchen relatively clean
Dishwasher on.

[slightlysoreboobs]

My plan for today is to go round the house and collect all the stuff which needs to be in the garage or shed and then put said stuff there. I'm thinking of things like the tin of white gloss on the bookcase in the dining room. There are many random things like this. I'll report back on my progress.

[MaisyPops]

This is my kind of thread. I wish i was one of those neat people, but im not. I try so hard but i just find myself too tired on an evening to bother and then at a weekend i get mardy havingto do it.

[slightlysoreboobs]

I've just taken three bin bags of stuff to a charity shop. It was all things I have been planning to eBay for, in some cases, years. And in all that time I haven't so I've decided to reclaim the space. I reckoned they'd get more money than I ever would have, after eBay fees and everything. There was also another half a bin bag of stuff to go in the bin.

Not got a big feeling of satisfaction but I'm hoping it'll come.

[SoleBizzz]

My house waa a tip fir months. I hired a cleaner. Best thing ever. She is nit judgementAl at all. We git lots done. I also went to Poundland for some cleaning products and found they sell a pack of 30 very moist hard floor wipes. U use them upon my floors, walks, skirting boards eyc. Car..

They're brilliant at removing stains and dirt.

I still have a lot to do and today I'm going to

Wipe bathroom tiles and floor
Carpet washer on landing and stairs
Put away/hang clean clothes
Tidy kitchen

I dont want to but i must :(

[mydogmymate]

I've just come across this thread, you are my people!! Every day I beat myself up mentally because I've got no excuse for allowing it to get so bad. But I've got bi polar and I can't be consistent in the cleaning. I'm watching with interest.

[slightlysoreboobs]

I've tidied my bedroom. I've also cleared a random corner of the hallway and put most of what was there in the bin. Floor swept. Put a wash on. I feel a bit wiped out but crucially, pleased with what I've done

[Splurgle]

I can really identify with this thread.
I've battled depression for years and would love to have a more orderly home for my family and i think it would really help my state of mind.
I just get frozen when confronted with a room which is chaotic, i simply do not know where to start, so i don't

Love reading the accomplishments that everyone's made with their homes.

[happypoobum]

Well done Smurfy!!!

Thanks for the tips. I have also been doing a few things every day and that is working for me OK. I do understand what boobs means about still beating yourself up about the stuff left to do but I am staying positive.

I have just found out I have family coming for an extended stay in the summer so I have to get the house straight for that - it's a good incentive and gives me enough time I hope.

[slightlysoreboobs]

happy, no wise words re the shame, but does it help to know that you're not alone in feeling it?

[slightlysoreboobs]

Smurfy that sounds brilliant - both that you've got the support and that you've been able to do it. And excellent plans for more! Very pleased for you I'm CupOfTea with a NC btw!

I've had a horrible day. Panicky and very very sad. Still, I've managed to put a wash on, feed the children, and I did a UFYH 5 minute room rescue in my living room - chucked rubbish out, tidied the bit of mess on the floor and hoovered the middle. And it really did only take 5 minutes! I have difficulty with finding pleasure/calm with a task accomplished. I nearly always continue to beat myself up for the millions of things that still need doing. Anyone have any tips on how to deal with this?

[smurfy2015]

OK a lot happened here yesterday, i have 2 support workers for an afternoon a week to help me declutter i was referred to them by social worker,

a bag of rubbish clothes and stuff went to black bin (old knickers etc),
4 bags of old clothes to be cut up for rags went to a friend whose husband is a mechanic,

For charity shop=
a wall framed print,

3 boxes of artificial flowers,

massive bag of formal occassion dresses, www.ebay.co.uk/itm/32-EXLARGE-JUMBO-LAUNDRY-STORAGE-BAG-STRONG-REUSABLE-CLOTHES-SHOPPING-CHECK-BAG-/170906839672?var=&hash=item27cad76a78:m:mveZHINVMf9fXqWkoN5iGfQ one of this size

costume jewellery,

zimmer frame, (i have rollator and wheelchair instead)

3 bags of decent clothes,

Still loads more to go, have the support for initally 3 months and can be extended for up to a total of 9 months

@happypoobum have you joined any fb pages with tips for hms and/or eds as they can be quite similar, If you want i can link you in with one, im a suspected eds'er, not enough to be diagnosed but still enough not to be considered as a possible condition.

early next week i am hoping to get rid of my pile of old pillows, cushions, raggy towels, half my bedding pile, the raggy ones will go with towels etc and all will be going to local animal rescue centre for bedding

The decent stuff from the bedding piles (i have tons of bedding), i will take the basics i need from it and intend to donate the other half to local womens aid as will help with basic needs as fresh sheets on bed can be lovely whether in first rehome or first night in a shelter

im putting this all here so i have somewhere to come back to see my aims and plans as i feel you are my people and wont judge me

[happypoobum]

It's about £12.50 an hour round these parts I can afford it - it's just the shame!!!

[OneBigCupOfTea]

happy I'd love to get a cleaner even just for one deep cleaning session so I just had to maintain it. But I can't afford/financially justify it and I don't have any physical reason why I can't do it myself - it's very much the overwhelmed thing that stops me.

Have you looked into the cost of getting some help?

[happypoobum]

I think I may have found my people.

No real MH issues, but I have hypermobility which mainly affects my wrists and cannot do any cleaning for more than about ten minutes before I have to stop due to the pain.

I am stuck in a big 4 bed house that is too big for me and older teen DC who are only here part of the time. I have to keep hold of house for another year or so and then sell it. Thing is, I have let it go so badly, I am not sure anyone will want to buy it!

As well as cleaning, I also have loads of DIY jobs to arrange which I really do not want to do or pay for

I have thought about getting a cleaner in to do a big deep clean to give me a sort of flying start. Has anyone else done that? I am just worried they will think I am really slovenly. I don't look disabled - I am worried it will be embarrassing.

I suppose I could tell them I just moved in and can't believe the state of the place

[JayneW63]

Been there, and there is a way out. I lost my husband 5 years ago, and shall we say house work was not top of my list of priorities.

It still isn't but over the last two years I have de cluttered, slowly but steadily, nest in the corner of the sofa a lot less and can see the pattern on the carpet a lot more.

Never feel over whelmed, just do a little and you will see a difference.

[GratedCarrotStick]

Hi guys have only had a chance to read the first few posts but already feel like I belong here. I'm marking my place to come back and read.

[madmomma]

That sounds fair to me. Well done.

[OneBigCupOfTea]

3 weekly collections? That must be really difficult!! I have 3 DCs too and our bin is stuffed by the end of the 2 weeks we have to wait.

I'm waiting for someone to come and pick up some furniture I freecycled. I've been trying to get rid of 27 things a day as per flylady but I'm giving myself some grace for today - the items leaving my home are quite big so they'll count for the 27!!

[madmomma]

Aww thanks tea, hugs gratefully received. Yes a carrier bag a day sounds like a great idea actually. I managed to get rid of some stuff surreptitiously yesterday but its tricky since we've been down to 3 weekly bin collections. I shall definitely aim for the carrier bag a day though, cos I can always stash them in the boot of my car and tip them when it's full.

[OneBigCupOfTea]

madmomma sending big unmumsnetty hugs

There's a carrier bag a day thread running at the moment? Might that help? Looking at the big picture is a sure fire way to being overwhelmed. The carrier bag/fly lady 15 mins/UFYH 20:10 are all ways to do a little bit at a time which over time leads to great things (I say, sitting in a room full of crap... need to take my own advice!!)

I've been overwhelmed before. It's shit, but there is hope.

[madmomma]

Checking in. Totally despairing about my home. It's huge (awful area, not a stealth boast). I've 3 messy kids and a hoarder husband. My mental health is awful and I feel constantly overwhelmed and paralysed by the hoarding. I feel like I'm failing my kids because we don't eat round the table cos I can't keep it clear. We have a big garden which should be lovely but it's full of crap and I haven't the energy to tackle it, plus if I throw anything away my dh has a paddy and that makes me anxious. I am so done with this.

[smurfy2015]

Hi all, i hope its OK to revive this thread as reading it has helped me, my current place is absolute mess so much so that social services are paying for 2 workers to come in for several hours a week purely to declutter -

my current state of mind and body is severe depression and im also a quadriplegic in unsuitable housing which isnt accessable to me, the adaption process has started in assessment terms but will take quite a while, if anyone has any tips that would be helpful?

[BertieBotts]

I'll join :) I have ADHD which makes it really hard for me to stick to routines, or, TBH, to even notice that things need doing DH gave me a bit of a kick up the arse yesterday so must crack on.

I've got to take some of the bins down today but I think I'll leave the ironing until tomorrow when I'll have more time.

[Marypoppinsisnosaint]

Morning all,

So after getting on top of all my jobs I do what I always do and don't keep on top of things. Now I'm going around in circles with jobs that need doing again.

Today is sort the massive washing pile.

Hope your all achieving more than me.