Anyone up for being my minimalism buddy?! Overwhelmed by commitments and stuff...

[Bitzer]

I am feeling absolutely overwhelmed by stuff. About a month ago I began a decluttering, and I've made a lot of progress but have sort of hit a wall now and don't know where to go next so to speak. We're due to be moving in Jan and I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. Also, I want to spend more proper time with my kids - I'm so sick of spending half my life moving things from one place to another. The areas that I have managed to declutter are now so much easier to keep clean and tidy so I want to create more of them.

Is anyone else doing a similar thing? Keen to find someone for some mutual encouragement/inspiration so I don't give up. Also, thought it'd be useful to share tips/thoughts on the stuff that it is especially hard to get rid of.

Any takers?

[SugarMiceInTheRain]

I did the Kondo thing with my clothes, bedding, towels, books, kitchen stuff and most of the paperwork. I have easily got rid of 30+ binbags of stuff. Despite that, it doesn't look much different in the house, because DH and the 3 kids have a lot of stuff. I do pass on clothes we've been given/ handed down for DD (2) which I don't like or think won't suit her, but otherwise pretty much leave other people's stuff alone. Find it frustrating though as the vast majority of stuff that takes up lots of room - books, toys, DVDs, CDs etc is not mine to declutter. House is also full of miscellaneous crap which doesn't seem to have a home! This is the category of stuff Kondo calls 'Komono' and I seem to just come unstuck here because so much stuff in this category is 'household' stuff rather than mine so I can't make unilateral decisions without upsetting people! However, today I'm going to put a few things in the loft and see how long it takes DH and the kids to notice!

[Bitzer]

sugarmice I've been doing that. "Putting things away" and seeing if anyone notices. They never, ever do.

Dozer take your point re budgets. I'm not intending to replace the clothes, just keep what I actually need and no more e.g. I run a lot, and have lots of old tshirts that I keep 'for running' but actually I do enough washloads in a week that I'll only every really need 2 running tshirts... Also, there is a load of old stuff that I have kept for 10 years and much more because it made me feel good then and it still fits/is smart enough to wear etc but just sits in the wardrobe gathering dust.

And to the poster (sorry can't seem to flick back a page) who asked about my mum and hoarding disorder. Hmm, I don't know. Haven't investigated it. It's a possibility but I think it's actually more to do with feeling overwhelmed and not knowing wear to start - that combined with deteriorating mobility has made things a lot worse in recent months and years

[Coldhandscoldheart]

Right. I have sorted baby clothes that had just been bunged in the underfed storage out into keep, recycle, charity, second opinion.
Not sure why I need the last section, possibly just to keep DH involved & not letting him think the elves do things.

[building2016]

Oh the Kondo book helped so much psychologically! It reprogrammed my rat pack mind.

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Will add Kondo to my long list of books to read one day. I haven't managed much the last couple of days as have been busy at work but am hoping to get back in the game tonight / tomorrow.

[Coldhandscoldheart]

Yesterday was not a good day. The problem with sorting things, is that I find it often generates more mess. The house is so small I'm falling over things that need to be put away, but can't be put away till a couple more things have gone in them/out of them or whatever, the baby wouldn't be put down, so none of those things happened, the house doesn't have a tidy space in it, and I was despairing.
I did manage to scrub the kitchen floor (spilt milk under the fridge two days ago, it had to be done) so I suppose that's something. But it took ages (baby again).
Right, I've had my lie-in, I should get up & do something useful.
How are you all going?

[Bitzer]

Yesterday was a write-off decluttering wise because we had visitors (nice day though :))

cold hands I feel your pain! It's really tricky. I'm going to try out the Kondo approach of tidying by category for that reason ie starting with clothes and ignoring everything else, for now!

And even then, in not doing all clothes, just the DCs clothes today, mine later this week. Otherwise I fall into the trap of stopping to put papers away or read something and decide if I want to keep it.

In preparation though, I did get all my miscellaneous papers and shove then in boxes for when the time comes to sort them.

Hope you had a more productive day yesterday

[homeaway]

Sugar would it help breaking things down into tiny categories and putting them away as soon as its done ? You can use tupperware boxes for cello tape etc. The other thing is that if you have a bag of stuff to donate put it in the boot of the car so it is not cluttering your space up. Do you have an idea ib your mind of where you want to store things ? Or how you want the end result to look ? These are just ideas that may help you. Good luck.

[Coldhandscoldheart]

leans heavily on thread
Another bad day. I have at least realised that hormones are playing a bit part in this. But fuuuuck. Two weekends with visitors, and I feel so, so out of control. I'm sitting on the only clear bit of sofa trying to dredge up some motivation for somewhere to do something, anything!

[imnotreally]

This is a thread I need. I'm trying to work out what to do with books. I've got books I've spent a fortune on but they take up so much space and I mostly read on my iPad. But you can't digitalise them like you can CDs!

[Bitzer]

coldhands Sorry to hear that. One step at a time. Maybe just start with setting a timer, putting on some music you like and seeing what you can do in half an hour? I was so relieved yesterday that we didn't have visitors (though we did have kids sleeping over so only had the house to ourselves in the afternoon). It does take a bloomin' age to reset - endless washloads etc Good luck today, let us know how you get on.

I did the KonMarie thing with DD1's (8) clothes - we get loads of hand-me-downs so she was really shocked when I put all her stuff in one place and she saw how much there actually was. She actually only let me get rid of about 15% but once we had folded what was left KonMarie style her drawers looked so much less cluttered (she now has all her clothes - incl sports stuff, jumpers swimming stuff, underwear, you name it - in 4 small drawers and about 8 items on a little hanging rail above). Most importantly I did a little folding masterclass with her so she now knows how to fold all her own stuff properly, and really enjoyed doing it. Interested to see how long all that lasts.

Moving on to DD2's stuff next.

We're collecting stuff for a friend who is sending a big load to a Syrian refugee camp where children's clothing and toys are much needed. I think it's really helped the kids to be able to visualise where they are sending this stuff.

imnotreally haven't got onto books yet, but we have an insane number in our house and I feel really attached to them so I think that'll be quite a tricky part of the process for me

[Sleepybunny]

Hi, I've love to join. Haven't had a chance to read all the thread, but I'm moving in three weeks and need to organise myself.
I've decluttered a lot previously, but would like to do more for my sanity!

[imnotreally]

I've just sorted through my million and one scarves and now I'm down to just a million.

[Sleepybunny]

Tackling the washing, just don't know where to start sometimes!

[building2016]

On books, we halved our book collection a few months ago. It was funny how easy it was once you put them all in one place (all grown up books, we do kids books separately). You could just tell - THESE books are important to me, I'll never get round to those, those are years out of date, I can get all that information on the Internet, I'll never part with those, etc.

[imnotreally]

Building I've minimised as many books as I can. I have a lot that I re-read.

[building2016]

Then you probably want to keep the remaining ones!

[Coldhandscoldheart]

imnot that's my style of decluttering.
I solved the problem y going out. Although am back now, and nothing got miraculously better in my absence
I've managed to put away the air bed (away to on the stairs, not actually away away) and the spare room actually looks better than previously.
Rest of the house still looks like shite tho.
Baby steps, baby steps.

[WellTidy]

Hi all, I'm back after not achieving much in the last week or so. Working extra days and having houseguests has not allowed me to get much done, unfortunately. I have a list though, and I will plough through. Next jobs are the cupboard under the stairs and the dining room sideboard and bookshelves. I think they are achievable this week. I've learnt not to get my sights too high, as then I get overwhelmed and despondent.

With the weather getting cooler though, I do need to put my summer things away and get out my winter things. That includes masses of thick coloured tights (I love tights) and scarves. I will minimize what I can. but they are things that I do wear. And winter clothes take up more space than summer clothes. I feel that this will be a difficult battle!

Bitzer, On your points:

(i) Childrens' schoolwork/art/cards they've made

I buy one A3 plastic envelope (not a pouch type envelope, but one with sides and a base about an inch deep) for each school year. I put in there what I want to keep that the children bring home. Everything else gets recycled.

(iii) my own school/university work - feels weird throwing away all that work but then it just sits gathering dust

I have chucked everything recently. I haven't looked at them in years and years so I don't need them. I am not sentimental about this type of thing.

(v) children's clothes - the massive hoard of vacuum packed baby clothes in the loft fills me with dread

I have 4 years between my DSs. I keep everything from DS1 and DS2 wears it. When DS2 has finished with it, I give to charity. I had thought that I would ebay things, but I never get round to it, so I just donate. That way its out of the house. I have donated everything from clothes to pushchair to cot bed etc.

(vi) photos - gaaaah, do you really just scan them and ditch the originals? Not sure I can bring myself to do that.

I discard poor photos and duplicates and put the others into slide in albums. I am about 2 years behind on this though, so I need to pick this up again. WHSmith sells nice albums that take about 200 6"x4" and I buy them when they're on offer. I find that I take far less photos now than I ever did.

[Bitzer]

WellTidy that is really helpful. I'm putting off the papers/sentimental items for now, doing the Marie Kondo order (so starting with clothes and working up to the more difficulty categories). I'm finding the category approach really helpful, it clarifies things seeing, for example, all your woolly hats and scarves in one place!

I've done both DCs clothes in the past week, which feels like progress. The rest of the week is out for proper decluttering though I'm still identifying the odd thing and sticking it in a bag for the charity shop when I have a minute. Donated a bunch of old chargers and earphones to the local homeless shelter, which they were really pleased about.

Next week I'm going to earmark time to do my own clothes. It's just really hard to find the time because I have so many other commitments with work, DC, impending move, sick elderly relatives etc. But when I make progress it improves my mood no end.

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

building thanks for the books tip. Will try putting them all in one place.

[Coldhandscoldheart]

Things are marginally better. There was an unplanned defrosting of the freezer last night, so I'm a bit achy this morning and my hands are ruined. But it is decluttered and ice free, and had been needing doing for a while, so silver linings.
Have reached another full stop just now though.
I think today's main thing will be taking the baby clothes that I sorted last week and actually getting them to the recycling bins!

[Sunshineandwaves]

Hey op, you said "want to spend more proper time with my kids - I'm so sick of spending half my life moving things from one place to another". This is me. I am so sick of moving stuff around. I will join you in your quest for minimalism!

[Bitzer]

Yes, that really is a big motivator for me sunshine - and I think it's starting to work! We've got a lot of work on at the moment planning a move abroad, but I can def imagine a time when tidying only takes up a fraction of the time it used to.

Glad to have you with us

[Coldhandscoldheart]

Morning! Anyone still here? Or will I be talking to myself today?
Baby is at nursery for the morning. I am going to do a little personal grooming and then hit the house hard is the plan. Since I've been sitting down drinking coffee for a wee while now.