What sort of person do you need to be to home school

[Stefka]

My DS is only one so I have plenty of time before this is an issue but I am thinking about it already.

I have worked in schools and I just don't like what I see. Teachers work hard but the system just seems messy in so many ways and in my heart I just don't want to send DS to school.

I was saying to someone the other day that in an ideal world I would home school him and she said why not just do it. I think I wouldn't be up to it. I am not that smart - I am a rubbish speller, completly hopeless at maths and my general knowledge is not great. Topic like science and geography I know very little about so I don't think I would be able to give DS the information he needs.

On a seperate query what happens later on in relation to exams etc?

[lindenlass]

stefka I planned to HE from when I was pg with my first. I spent my time reading books, reading blogs, getting to know other HEors via the web. When my oldest was 2, I started meeting up with other HEors in real life regularly.

That's the best preparation IMO! I personally wouldn't bother spending much money on specifically educational things - just make sure you have plenty of lovely, enjoyable books in your house, and then be led by your child/ren. If you buy stuff in advance, you can bet your bottom dollar it'll never be needed/wanted!

[Litchick]

Yes I often feel that school generally seems to be more about governemnt targets etc than children and their education.
I realise, of course, that I am very lucky to a. have found such a great scholl and b. can afford it.

[Stefka]

I would quite like to have a part time job too although so far nothing has happened for me so I will just wait and see how it all goes. I need to look at all the options although sadly private is not going to be one of them as we are on a very low income.

Going to try and get some of the books from the library and do some reading. I just don't feel good about schools and what happens there. It seems that children are the least important people in those places. I also had an awful time at primary school where I was told on a daily basis that I was stupid because I was bad at maths and spelling. My last teacher told me that if I ever went to university she would eat her hat. I did go although I never went back to have it out with her as she is very old now. I am pretty sure schools can't do that sort of thing now but it really trashed my self esteem and I don't like the idea of putting DS in the hands of people who could do that.

[Litchick]

I have huge misgivings about school generally and knew that I would never send my kids to a school with the NC or SATs. Nor would I send them anywhere with over 20 in a class or somewhere where music and art and drama weren't equally important as maths and science.
However i also knew that I wanted to continue with my own work ( I'm an author) which meant I needed time to myself.I couldn't be that parent who was with my children all day every day, not because I don't like them but because I LOVE my work. It was a heartbreaking decision.
I was lucky to find a school that fitted the bill perfectly - it's five mins away and they have twenty two weeks holiday a year . This has been perfect for us, though costs an absolute fortune.
When the DCs leave at 11 I don't know what I'll do. I won't find another school like this and yet I ask myself all the time if I really can HE and continue to work. Ahhhhhh.

[julienoshoes]

If I could go back to pre school age-knowing what I know now, I would never have sent them!

Other than that, I would have carried on doing as we did before they went to nursery/school-enjoying ourselves living life and learning as we went along.

I'd have joined our local home ed group and talked to other like minded people.

I'd have joined several email support groups-our local one, the HE Special Needs one and the HE Early Years one

and I'd read as much up on the subject of autonomous home education as possible, so i got it into my head that sitting down and being taught is not the only way to learn!
I'd have saved myself so much time deschooling myself and so much worry!
Authors including John Holt, Jan Fortune Wood and Alan Thomas would have been top of my list( see the 'books about home education' thread here)

I'd have started to go along to national and local home ed camps and gatherings as soon as possible.

I really don't want any more children-but I would so love to go back to the beginning with the three I have and do it all again-without school!
By golly we'd have a ball!

[milou2]

If I could go back to pre-school age I would have bought a good supply of the Roderick Hunt Oxford Reading Tree books because I just love them so much!

I would have bought a load of home ed books, read loads of home ed websites and blogs.

I would have removed my 2 boys from pre-school or insisted on being there as well to avoid the enforced and stressful separations.

Lastly I would have spent time at the home ed meet ups with them as well as at the normal Parent and Toddler groups.

I might well have had one or two more children and been knackered for 5 more years...all worth it. School was so rigid I felt I couldn't manage another pregnancy with school runs mixed in. That sounds feeble but I was used to being pregnant on my own terms at home. SPD problems too.

[Stefka]

Am starting to read through the websites. I really do like the sound of it all although there really is a lot to think about. We are on a low income at the moment with me not working and so far DH is not at all keen on the idea.

If you could go back to before your child hit school age what would you be doing to prepare for home schooling if anything?

[poetmum]

You've had loads of great advice here. I agree with most of the HE posters have said. I just wanted to add that HE is really a lifestyle. It is about being willing to be present on your child's journey.

I also wanted to offer these reading recommendations:

1. Ability Development From Age Zero by Dr. Suzuki. (Take the useful bits and ignore the mother bashing.)
2. The Two Income Trap, by Elizabeth Warren (It is U.S. centred but loads of good information.) Here is a review. www.motherjones.com/news/qa/2004/11/10_400.html

Many HE families I know - including ours - practice voluntary simplicity. As a result, they can afford more "extras." It's about opting out of the debt cycle, choosing to live simply and as a result feeling happier. I have to recognize that enforced or circumstantial simplicity is never fun. But, examining ever expense and budgeting are good skills to have. But, income has little to do with whether or not you can home educate.

[nickschick]

We had our doubters too in fact the ds godmother actually said i was a bimbo not a teacher

[nickschick]

This is just one example i have 3 ds all of them have been H.E at some point for differing reasons,ds1 has always been a bright kid and he thrived at school he thrived at home - ds2 whilst at primary had lots of trouble learning to read write etc etc and they suggested he had sen i knew he didnt i H.E him for 3 years til secondary (he is quite a poorly child too he hs m.e)hes t secondary thriving doing better than expected in mid nd top stream classes despite having lots of time off - special needs?????? no.

ds3 has been to school once on a 2 hour induction he didnt enjoy it school and us parted badly when we declined to sign for sen funding(which they later claimed and hd to reallocate)so we decided to H.E ds3 as well - ds3 surprised us all by reading and understanding part of ds1 gcse coursework-( no hes not gifted he was just able to read and understand the question)I have NEVER taught ds3 to read- we sounded things out we learnt the letters with letterland and he just got it it just clicked,,,,,ds3 will never experience the trauma of pressure some ids face in school - this way of learning suits him and we know its whats best for him- i vowed NEVER to spend another night with a child sobbing bcos he was on the magic key level 5 and his friends were much higher - it works H.E is like a pool of warm water dip your toe in - its lovely .

[quinne]

I home educate too but I think for different reasons than the people above. For me it is because I have to (because the nearest English speaking school is 4 hours away) not because I want to or think I can do a good job. I love my children and I love being with them. It gives me a lot of pleasure to enable them to learn and to see them develop. But to tell the truth I have a sense of muddling through.
I've got a degree in maths and I did some chemistry and physics at university too. I have used Maths and English in job for nearly 20 years. So all the info I need to pass to my children is there somewhere in my brain for these subjects, but I'm tone deaf and useless beyond words at anything artistic.
However even for the subjects I do know about, I don't know which bits my sons should learn and in what order. I guess the techniques of teaching and child psychology are what teachers learn as theory in teaching college and then gain experience at work and I simply can't replicate that. Like every other mother here I want the best for my children which to me means the dual objectives of giving them a rounded childhood as free from stress as possible but keeping their options open as much as possible for what they can do as adults.
A good example is that I was teaching my 6 year old to read when a retired head teacher from England happened to visit my neighbour. I got talking to her and showed her what I was doing and asked if it was ok. She told me that he was making good progress but she looked through the reading books I had for him and explained that he needed the ones with pictures on each page and that I should not correct him mid-paragraph. I could see she was right when I stopped to watch my son, but its the sort of thing I could never have known without a lot of experience or someone to tell me.
I can see many posters here write very confidently of how HE works for you and I respect your achievements. I just wanted to tell the OP that its not easy for everyone and I for one am far from confident that I am doing as well as a qualified, experienced and (very importantly) interested teacher could do.

[musicposy]

This has probably all been said before, but if you would rather be with your child than send him to school, you've probably got everything you need to do it.

I often think I lack patience, or I don't know enough about things, or I should have gone mad by now from the lack of "me" time! But I do know that when DD2 started school I was a walking, depressed mess, and i should have home educated right from then. As it was I took her out at 8 due to other circumstances.

What I great decision - I now home educate both girls (12 and 9). We are all happier than we have ever been, and I'd say that the girls are more sociable and independent of me, too. I have off days, like anyone, but nobody's looking over our shoulder if the kids have a day in front of the TV - it all evens out. We're certainly not rich, but I try to find ways of earning money that work round the HE, and ways of saving money, too.

As for exams, it's a long way off for you, a little nearer for us, but do-able at home. However, we're getting into a whole new mindset, helped (weirdly) by our local authority secondary advisor. He asked DD1, "what do you want to do as an adult?" to which she answered, "be a dancer". He asked what she needed to do to achieve that, suggest we find out and work towards that. In other words, if she doesn't need 10 GCSEs, don't waste your time if that time would be better spent on ballet practice. It's a way of thinking we are just about getting our heads round. You have lots and lots of time to do the same.

[julienoshoes]

I meant to add the link to a report from the Fraser Institute in Canada- but got distracted by a neighbour popping round. This research from 2007 actually found "Home schooling appears to improve the academic performance of children from families with low levels of education"

It goes on to say
"Poorly educated parents who choose to teach their children at home produce better academic results for their children than public schools do. One study we reviewed found that students taught at home by mothers who never finished high school scored a full 55 percentage points higher than public school students from families with comparable education levels."

and I would second 'Onwards' recommendation of the "How Children Learn at Home" book by Alan Thomas and Harriet Patterson.

[nickschick]

I home ed too and it does fall into place - i think you just 'get on with it'.

[Stefka]

Thank you!! Lots to think about. I want to start researching now though. I think it sounds amazing. I would want to be confident that I was up to it though. I will check out those links thank you.

[ShrinkingViolet]

it's much easier "teaching" a HE child during the day when they're not shattered from school, than trying to force them to do their (quite often pointless set becasue it has to be set) homework at the end of 6 hours of a school day. They're not really comparable, particularly since with a HE child, if it's not going in, you can leave it till another time. Teachers aren't usually so flexible about homework .

[goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh]

another thing (as a none HomeEd'er) that stopped me was my lack of patience, I struggle to help them with their homework from schoool so trying to teach them stuff during the day would be a no no for me.

[onwardandmerrilyupward]

Look at that! Three cross-posts at once!!!! (off to read now and see if we all said the same thing )

[onwardandmerrilyupward]

Criteria: that you are ready and willing to help your child learn, and that you enjoy spending time with them. Full stop.

Lots of myths out there. You don't have to be rich. You might have to make some "lifestyle choices" about living more simply than you would on more income. You don't have to have one full time working parent and one SAHP, though many do do that. Other possibilities are two part-time working parents, single parent working from home, living on benefits (not a route I'd want to follow myself if I could possibly avoid it, but I understand that needs must where the devil drives for some), extended family or friends being "in charge" for long enough for parents to both do sufficient work to keep a roof over their heads... blah blah blah.

You don't have to have been academically successful or well educated yourself. Google "Paula Rothermel, Durham" and you'll find links to her research on home education, particularly at primary level, which showed (I suspect to her surprise as much as anyone else's) that being HE ENORMOUSLY raised the educational and social outcomes for children of what I think she termed "working class" backgrounds, and raised the outcomes for middle class children of well educated parents, but by less of a differential than for the working class ones. In other words, if you are not yourself well educated, or don't consider yourself to be so, then statistically, your child will be MORE better off out of school than the child of a parent with 15 PhDs. It maybe seems crazy that children do better academically and socially out of school than in it, and children of less well educated families do a lot better out of school than they would have done in it, statistically speaking, but that's what Rothermel found.

I think you need to read "How Children Learn at Home" by Alan THomas and someone Pattison. It's really reassuring. It basically says that you really don't need to "teach" children, just be with them and enjoy family life and being out and about, and they soak things up. "Purposive conversation", where children ask "why" questions and that's the launch pad for conversation/reading books/looking things up on the internet together/ going to the library/ ringing a friend to ask for help etc etc. You don't have to have all the answers, just be prepared to help your child find them!

Exams. some HE families do them, some don't. You don't have to do SATS at all, of course, and that's a factor for some families in taking the HE route. Some families do the usual sheaf of GCSEs, and there's plenty of online advice about following the syllabuses and finding exam centres. Quite a lot of HE families DON'T do the usual sheaf of GCSEs. The children are more likely to think "ok, what do I want to do next?" (particular kind of apprenticeship, particular kind of job, university degree, whatever) and then "What pieces of paper do I need to have to achieve that goal?" and then they get the pieces of paper. OU foundation courses are often accepted by universities for entrance rather than needing GCSEs and A levels, for example. HE teens quite often go to an FE college for A levels or other qualifications at that stage.

THe other important thing is that, if you decide not to send your child to school soon after they turn 4, as per most people, that doesn't mean you are committed to HEing them right through. At any stage, if you and they feel like trying school or switching to school permanently, then the LA have to find a school place for them. Not necessarily at the best/nearest/most recently painted school in the area, but they do have to find a place. So you really have nothing to lose!

Hope that helps - keep asking questions

[terramum]

Not rich enough quinne...just good at budgeting and living within your means. We've managed on just DH's wage since the maternity pay finished when DS was 6 months old...and he's been on minimum wage or unemployed for much of that. It's not an easy life and anyone who say life on benefits is great is lying...but we manage and are happy.

In terms of knowledge and teaching Stefka I really wouldn't worry. Children will learn...that's what they are born to do. All they need is to be given the basic tools like reading and writing, using a library/the internet etc and they will learn quite happily whether you can keep up with them or not . Also, even if you are a single parent, you won't be alone...HE parents often pool their resources and you will have friends and other relatives who I'm sure would love to impart their knowledge. I definately wouldn't be able to teach DS everything....but between me, DH, our parents, friends and other HEing families I know he will get a good education as each individual has their own interests, skills and knowledge to pass onto DS.

Think of HE less about you & your DS in a mini school set up at home with you teaching him everything he needs....and more about him learning through living and being with people in the community...

[julienoshoes]

IMHO, The one criteria is to like being with your children.

That's it.
I'm not suggesting that parents whose children go to school don't like their children-far from it. I believe the vast majority of parents do their very best for their children.

I just think that anyone who enjoys spending time with their children could home educate.

I know home educators who do so on very limited incomes-we do so. We manage on a very small amount of money. I'd rather we had more but being rich enough to do without an income didn't come into it.

"I don't think I would be able to give DS the information he needs."
Doesn't sound as though school did a very good job giving you the information you needed!

TBH if you are happy to be with your child, then everything you need to know can be gained from the internet/books from the library.
I too am a rubbish speller-as you can tell if I forget to spell check before posting!
My general knowledge and maths have improved immensely-I have learned along side the children-with music and IT I have had to start from scratch and have managed to reach a reasonable level and have found the children have taught me many things once they have gone past my knowledge base!
It's just that they know that we believe that leaning is lifelong and I am not afraid to say that I don't know something and we'll go find out about it together.

I didn't start out as a home educator. If the schools had given my children the education they needed and a safe place to acquire it, they would have stayed in school.
We were forced into this, but it so very quickly became a lifestyle choice-and that is something I hear over and over in the home ed community.

We haven't tried to teach them, instead we have facilitated their interests-and if someone is interested in something, then you can't stop them learning.
And just bey living life and having fun you can cover all of the essentials.

Have you read the threads on 'Websites on home education' and 'books on home education'?
I'll bump the relevant threads for you now.
I'd strongly suggest you have a good read around the subjects and join some of the email support groups.

SchoolHouse is the place that would be good for you to start-THE home education support organisation for folks in Scotland. They have an email support list that would be worth joining -as would The Early Years HE support list especially for families home educating children under the age of eight. I know you would find support and advice there.

On your last question about exams-it depends on the young person and family really.
Some youngsters do qualifications a few at a time before they get to the age of 16 either via distance learning courses, or by working through the curriculum and taking the exam as an external candidate. Or they wait until they are 16 and do them all together for free at FE college(as our eldest did) or they may not take any (our middle child didn't take any but instead gained a whole range of life experiences and she now lives and works away from home, very happily) or maybe they will just go straight to OU courses and either do their whole degree that way, or use OU course passes to gain entry to 'bricks and mortar' universities (this is the path our youngest is taking). We know of home educated young people who have taken all of these different paths-and it seems to have worked for them

If you have more questions do ask, other home educators will come along soon I have no doubt and will answer.

I'll go bump the threads on books and websites about HE for you now.