Boys and school

[lijaco]

I have 3 boys two of them have now left school and the system has seemed to fail them. My third boy is 4 years old and at nursery school. He is very physical likes to run, climb toy fight (which I try to discourage). etc. He has lots of energy and is in constant trouble at nursery where he is not being allowed to play out as a consequence. I am seriously scared that he will be failed at school and considering bringing him out. I also strongly feel that boys are not able to be boys, that they learn differently and are being seriously failed!
advice appreciated thanks

Well the dcs are at a boys school which seems to combine a lot of physical exercise led by plenty of young men and a reasonably rigid routine led by a strong female staff. So far the dcs are thriving on it (and ds1 and ds2 are very different characters). I think that boys and girls probably do learn differntly though I don't think that that is purely a gender issue. I like the fact that this is an environment where it is considered cool to read (and reading books are suitable for the interests of boys). Some of the stuff is unexpected though - the dcs really like their uniform because of the sense of team that it builds for them for example.

Very few single sex primary schools around now though, other than in the private sector.

At the least, could you consider keeping him out of school for a little longer?

I do think that a lot of kids need longer to just run about and be "physical". It is NOT just boys, my daughter is the same (I also have a 4 yo son)

I think thats normal and it is mad that most kids are pushed into education at about 4/5 in this country.

I think that school can be a marvellous experience for people who like to sit quietly for a large part of the day, completing tasks set by other people.

If your son isn't one of them, then I'd be looking for alternatives, myself.

my god though emma, I must say that sounds like a fabulous way to spend a day atm

so peaceful

Hi lijaco
I have a very energetic 3.5 yr old who we are HEing. He hasn't been still since before he was born LOL & is constantly on the go - heck he even jumps about when he is eating! I have to get him out of the house for a long walk at least once a day, sometimes more because otherwise he spends his time jumping up & down on my furniture. It's getting harder to keep up with him as well as he is so fast - how I haven't lost weight running to keep up with him is a mystery

I totally agree with you that children aren't allowed to be children any more. I simply can't imagine DS in a classroom situation having to sit still for long periods of time. How your DS's nursery can justify not letting him out as punishment is beyond me. Surely if they let him out to play it would give him the opportunity to have an outlet for all his energy? . For me HE gives DS the opportunity to divide his time up as he wishes so he can let out all his energy when he wants or have some quieter periods, when he wants. He is only young still & I realise that he may get calmer as he gets older....but also prepared for the reality that he might not. Either way we shall HE for as long as needs/wants to so he can get the most out of his childhood and learn on his own terms.

Might I recommend a trampoline. It fabulous for wearing them out and also helps their co-ordination.

"He has lots of energy and is in constant trouble at nursery where he is not being allowed to play out as a consequence."

Well if he's not allowed to play out, surely his behaviour will only get worse? Doesn't make sense to me and I'm generally in favour of school for my son. Does the school really justify that?