Online Schooling, PDA child and working mum...

[MsGee]

I am currently exploring online schooling for DD who is in Y7. She has ASD, PDA, anxiety etc. and struggling with high school. She has previously had episodes of poor mental health (hallucinations, breakdown etc.) and we have had years of therapy, NHS involvement but are now pretty much left to ourselves, albeit with a supportive school.

She is finding high school very difficult and life is a daily battle. She masks all day long and then takes it out on me. I bear the brunt of her anger and its quite full on as she sleeps with me (had support for this, and after months specialists gave up), and does a recreational activity with me which is about 15+ hours a week (but which is so good for her, albeit another demand).

DD hates school but says she wants to learn. Homework is a struggle, but we have found she learns well by watching online videos and taking notes. She is bright but struggles with the school environment.

I am exploring online schooling for her and I am fairly lucky in that I work from home (freelance) and my clients are all lovely and understanding about my home life. But I do have to work.

So my Q is ... is it feasible? Can I work at home whilst she learns (obvioiusly checking up on her). Can online schooling work for kids with PDA (I have heard homeschooling generally doesn't for children with PDA).

I can cut down my hours but do have to work. In case also relevant, I have a lovely DH who does a lot of homework and works at home a lot. But I realise this will mainly come down to me.

[Nousernameforme]

I have a small work at home job which I don't get to do as much as I would like on I catch up on weekends

[Nousernameforme]

What about a reduced time table with. Home ed when she is at home. Tbh I would start that with a view to getting her back in her own bed once she feels.more secure. You need some time alone woman. I say this as a mother of 4 2 special needs 1 of whom is home educated

[norfolkskies]

well ds had a day off while still on roll at state school on taster lesson day (organised a couple of days in advance with my online schooling I think). So Id recomend doing that first. Try the lesson.....talk about pros and cons with dd. Then make the decision. The school did know ds was having a trial with online school, but thats up to you whether you think they`re okay and be honest or do a sickie ;). We talked about it on and off for a week before we made the decision. Its a big step and quite liberating handing in the un rolling letter!

[MsGee]

Thank you everyone for the advice.

I have called IPSEA and we are going to try for an ECHP, and I have been advised not to pull her out until we try for this first but I am going to look at everything mentioned here so that we are ready for online schooling. I suspect it will happen - just a question of whether it happens with LA support / funding or not!

[norfolkskies]

exactly that scooby doo. its all less angry and stressful!
MOS is working out wonderfully here. Even the term tests that are happening at the moment are way less stressful than at a proper school! ds is doing really well.

worth every penny.

[scoobydoo1971]

My daughter has sensory processing disorder with auditory and visual deficit, alongside anxiety and severe dyspraxia. She hated school, and started myonlineschooling two months ago. She loves it. Like yourself I freelance from home, her brother does internet school too due to a medical condition, I have severe health problems meaning I can only work from home in a sedentary role, elderly relative to care for as well...

I picked this service provider as they allow you to give notice on subjects (28 days) and that allows you to cancel if it is not working out. I was dreading home schooling two kids on top of the other demands. I was wrong, it is brilliant and flexible. My kids are doing much better with online school than previous education providers, and they are happier people. It is not easy working from home alongside kids studying from home, especially with SEN. But it may make your family life a bit less angry and stressful. Try it and see if it works for you is all I can say.

[KateD1980]

We used Fresh Start Direct (www.freshstart.direct) and they're great at tailoring the learning to engage the student, making it interesting for them and inspiring them to want to learn. It's face to face in real time, but all online. So you could be there, or not! They have a zone you can log in to and you can check the session took place!

[norfolkskies]

for homework its filesharing. sometimes via google docs set up by teachers (works well). sometimes its handwritten on A4 paper/ poster etc , scanned and shared.

[norfolkskies]

Id try her on it! some providers (interhigh) dont allow for a trial much and youd be locked into a contract. we use myonlineschooling. a free class trial, then you sign up monthly. 30 days to pull out if its not working anytime. all you need is good internet and laptop. (some use ipads). headset mic is a plus although ds just uses speakers on the laptop and chats on the laptop mic.

[itsstillgood]

I would explore individual providers e.g. Absolute Maths, Echo Education, Home Made Education, LearnTec, Dreaming Spires, Humanatees etc Not personally recommending any of these btw (apart from Learntec) just names that I have heard good things about. Shopping about and mixing and matching providers/approaches may give you a more flexible structure.

[MrsDimmond]

I have heard homeschooling generally doesn't for children with PDA.

Where have you heard that?

School environment is massively challenging for children with PDA as your dd is experiencing.

School "refusal" (I hate that phrase) is very common. Many families feel they have no choice but to home educate. And for many that has been a major factor in improved wellbeing for their child.

Increasingly LAs recognise the impossible demands even specialist school.bring and fund support for EOTAS (education other than at school) via personal budget.

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't go down the home education route but I felt I had to challenge that particular statement.

[MsGee]

Thank you for the thoughts.

I guess I am hoping that it will reduce the anxiety and generally make life less stressful. School holidays are usually better - her hobby provides a structure to most days, and then she has had enough of me and can be left to her own devices. She is naturally a bit lazy and a bit of a bodger, so I can't see autonomous education working for her... :)

I have talked to her last night and we have agreed that we will try to make her current school work a bit better as she does want to be with her friends, but we will explore things just in case. I want to have as many options as possible, including trying to get an ECHP.

[Saracen]

It's hard to predict. Every child is different. Yours is saying she wants to learn but simply dislikes the school environment, which seems to make her a good candidate for home ed. Most likely it will be full on for you to spend nearly all your time with a child who has additional needs. However, in the long run, it may be less intense than you imagine, because if your daughter is less stressed she will be easier to get along with and less needy. What is she like in the school holidays - does she need a lot of supervision and help?

I have heard homeschooling generally doesn't for children with PDA
Have you heard this from anyone who has tried it? I know some home educated children with PDA, and it works well for them by giving them more control over their own lives and learning. Autonomous education often works better for them than adult-led education - is that something you might consider? Your daughter might choose to learn in her own way, possibly involving videos without online school.

How would you feel about trying home ed for a year to see how you get on?

[BlueBirdGreenFence]

I know nothing about home ed or raising a child with additional needs but to me, taking a hard situation and making it more intense whilst removing the existing headspace doesn't sound sensible...

[MsGee]

I am not sure - this is a big part of the dilemma. I don't think the current situation or online schooling would be ideal for my mental health.

I wouldn't really get respite. Weekends are taken up by activity for 3-4 hours per day, and then I can take to my bed after that :D

[BlueBirdGreenFence]

How do you think your mental health would cope with it? How much respite would you realistically get if this was done?