I've home educated my kids for about a decade now, my choice from the start, though one is now in a state school of her choice. My older kids are fairly independent - they go from one task to another without prompting to the point I've had days where I'm ill and barely able to get out of bed and they've just gotten on with it.
With that said, I spend a lot of time setting up my children's education and it's taken years to get into this smooth pattern where they can do that based on the plans I've given them. They each have a printed spreadsheet of their tasks in their folders, sheets all printed in their folder, websites all bookmarked, good resources and tools all at hand. I would never expect them to be entirely "self-learning". There are so many skills needed in place to do that well, especially with access to the internet so needing to self-regulate against more interesting distractions on top of knowing what resources to use, how to use those resources, how to turn what they learn into something that shows their learning, how to keep records so they can see how well they're doing and what they need to work on to improve rather than just doing what comes easily to them (which tends to be more fun, as I tell them, enjoyment often comes from mastery)...it goes on. I currently do most of that for my kids. My Y9 child is almost there - in one subject, using a spreadsheet to keep records based on one online GCSE maths revision website - and his system is based on a video I found on revision techniques I showed him as part of studying study skills. My Y7 child needs a lot of input when she's researching anything new. Sometimes they choose topics that I include, but there are a lot of things it's because they need it even if it is no fun - few kids want to spend weeks doing sex, reproduction, and relationship education with their parents, it was an awkward time all around, but we did and regularly review it (and there is no way I'd send them onto the internet by themselves to do that, I'd rather the awkward and spending time setting up resources for their use than them self learning those topics online without being very very well prepared).
The input I have with my kids this last week discussing what they're learning during and after they do their work, bouncing ideas off of each other, reading works outloud and listening to them doing reading aloud from websites, books, poetry, scripts, or their own work of any of the above (yes, even with my Y9 child - I regret stopping that when he was late primary age, it's very much a skill that can take practice to do well), keeping them on task at times, marking their work for things and giving it back to them to correct and repeating them sometimes more than a few times, working step-by-step through the outline process for writing, pointing out spelling or homonym errors, listening to them play instruments, checking the computer for errors when it messes up. I generally spend from when I get downstairs (my daughters are both larks and get started before I get up) to usually about 12 or 1, though there are rougher days we're at it until nearly 4, mainly at least there for getting input if not actively doing it, Tuesday to Saturday. There are a couple days when I can't be there, but they are few are far between.
Really, my favourite part of home educating is getting into long conversations about things I've assigned for them to read or that we're reading together. We did coffee houses in the 1600s last week for history, and we ended up discussing media literacy, conspiracy theories, government control, sex differences, physical effects of coffee, and so many other things. Leaving them too it I think not only would be a far poorer education as I so often need to give them input before they get overly frustrated and give up, get distracted, or just really off target, but also what would be the point? Even with one child at a state school, we do Saturday mornings as lessons with her of things she misses/I want to make sure she does as well as supporting her do her weekend homework projects, so not even her being at school has stopped a lot of this input. I work around it -- and I'm a heavily structured home educator, I find those that autonomously home educate well tend to put in even more face to face input time to do everything and keep up with their kids' interests.
That's before getting into how social needs increase as a child gets older - and relying on the home educating community to educate your kids is by far the most unrealistic part of this growing plan. I've heard it many times - getting home educators together is like herding cats. We have all the great plans in the world, but I'd say less than 10% ever come to pass and over half of those are one-day events, it's even lower for on-going things. In ten years, I've literally seen 1 regular home ed gathering - out of someone's house where the kids all mess around - that has lasted more than a year and a couple of businesses that do regular HE special days, but it's certainly not the same people every time or home ed parents teaching. Part of home educating is constantly looking for these opportunities and recognizing how easy and fast it is to get isolated. A lot of home-ed focused businesses are collapsing and leaving people in lurch, I can think of four mainstays just in the last year or so even with home ed numbers rising.
If the idea is that all the toxic behaviours or being pushed to toe the line or things most people hate about the social part of schools don't exist in home educating communities, that's really unrealistic. It can be as bad or worse, the main benefit is if it sucks, you can step out of it easier - but then you risk isolation which is a major, major issue, especially among teens. It's a hard age and so many friends from younger move on to others just as friends become developmentally and emotionally so important. Both my secondary age kids have experienced it, and my 9-year-old is starting to as well. The idea that the social relationships and situation now will remain enough to say it's sorted is unrealistic for most. My kids have maybe 1 or 2 friends that they had 5 years ago.
My oldest, who has been home educated from the start is starting college part-time in September - my local one is starting a GCSE programme for home educated kids alongside their vocational courses they've had for few years for school educated - and he's so beyond excited. Honestly, as much as I love home educating most days and as hard as I know it is being in an educational black hole where all the school options look like terrifying shite or new options that seem risky at best, I think the older they get, the harder it is to home educate well with all the growing academic, social, and other needs and they need more learning and doing outside of the home and more input and interactions - if not the hands-on type of the early years - not less. Every which way I look at this plan, I can't see a realistic or desireable outcome, the online schooling options - which the good ones can be a good alternative for part of the education though there have been more than a few scandals here and elsewhere - still need greater input than being described. Some kids do really well in them, but just as many get distracted, get overwhelmed, get behind and flounder, get bored - just like with other schools even if there are fewer of them.
I think expecting a secondary age kid to learn most things from a computer on their own is putting adult thinking and wants onto small shoulders that are not developmentally ready for that and far too much can go wrong that I really do not see the appeal of it beyond trying to find the easiest and most convenient way to do it. Home educating isn't easy or convenient and it shouldn't be an aspiration to make it so when it's such a big responsibility. While I know most are there because of shite schools as most UK home ed kids are pulled out rather than a choice from the start from all the research I've seen, it cannot be the solution by itself to shite schools and toxic environments for teens, that's an unrealistic expectation of what home education - even at its best - can do.
