Autism

[EezerGoode]

Are you home educating a child with autism?.. may I ask you some questions?how hard was it to remove them from school .and do they miss their friends? What about GCSES? Can you just not do them and go to college at 17?..what if home ed dosnt improve behaviour? Then your stuck trying school again....ahhh it's a big jump..will I ever get any peace?.. child is 7.

[ShiningArmour]

Thanks all, I'm going to have a good look in the morning, I'll pm you ommmward x

[stitchglitched]

Whereabouts are you? There is also a national group called Home Education UK, you can ask on there if anyone lives in your area and they can point you to local groups. Some of the groups are county wide and then you can get links to smaller groups more local to your city or town.

[ommmward]

Tell us what county or nearest big city. We'll see you right 😀

[ShiningArmour]

I've looked on fb for home ed groups in my area and it says no matches found, have to admit I'm not great as don't really use fb.

[stitchglitched]

Sorry xpost re getting on local fb groups!

[stitchglitched]

Shining the LA will request to visit you but you are not obliged to accept. We accepted a visit when we first started home edding, mainly because I wanted a chance to rant to someone from the LA about his experience at school! She was lovely and supportive, wrote us a great report. But then she retired. This year we opted not to have a visit and I just sent an educational philosophy and report of what DS is doing/learning. They were happy with that and will contact us again in a year.

Visits are a contentious issue within the home ed community, my advice would be to join your local home ed facebook group where you can find out what your local LA is like for visits, others experiences etc.

[soapboxqueen]

shining Get yourself onto some of the home ed groups on Facebook. Lots of useful help and advice.

[ShiningArmour]

Responses on here have been really helpful as I've decided HE is the way forward for my ASD dc.
When I deregister will someone come round to 'check up' on me or dcs, or does it depend where you live?

[ommmward]

The gardening sounds ace!

The clinginess sounds really hard. I think you would need to expect it to be pretty full on for a month while he decompresses ( think of it as an investment in his future mental health) and the intensity would ease off.

I get outside - walks, parks etc. Somehow it's not so bad being monologued at in the open air 😉

[EezerGoode]

Also....I'm not even convinced he's autistic...the school seem sure of it and have got people in ...he gets obsessed with things..but so do i

[EezerGoode]

Oh wow thankyou,so many kind replies...I've had an awful weekend with him...he's done masses of gardening.planted.salad,tomatoes,peppers,onions,potatoes and strawberries..in his greenhouse.we went to town and he had another new Lego kit,which kept him occupied for approx an hour...he deliberately hid his homework file,so we couldn't do the homework,again...and apart from a trip to the park for 2 hours ,he's just hovering around me,needing hugs,or watching his kindle fire( huge mistake)..he's just so full on needing interaction..im exhausted and looking forward to a break when he's at school tomorrow...he really wasn't this hard work when he was 4 and hadn't started any pre school or school...but if we home ed and his behaviour stays the same,I will lose the plot...it's so hard

[stitchglitched]

P.S. We get DLA for DS which pays for his tutor groups, trips out etc. I also get carers which helps me be a SAHP. Not sure if you are getting help but definitely worth applying. We would struggle to home ed without it.

[stitchglitched]

Hi OP, I home ed my DS (8) who has autism. We pulled him out of school 2 years ago as we felt he was being woefully let down, bullied, not supported. The whole house just breathed a sigh of relief as we were so worried about him all day when he was in school. I had an 8 week old baby at the time and home ed wasn't something I'd ever planned to do but from our point of view it was necessary at the time for his mental health.

We initially tried to recreate school at home with breaks, sitting down at the table etc but it wasn't much fun, or sustainable. So we took some time out, went for days out, had movie days at home, just let him play and do gaming and just be.

Now we are pretty free range. He goes to 2 home ed groups, weekly foreign language and practical science both with qualified teachers and small groups where he feels comfortable, and subjects I wouldn't be able to teach him well. He is also going to be starting a computer club soon. That is enough for him for now.

He does stuff at home- projects about history, space etc. Reads lots of books and researches stuff he is interested in. For maths he uses workbooks or khan academy online. Some days he just chills out with his 3ds or youtube. He has learnt so much, is working ahead of his age group and I strongly believe this approach has been beneficial owing to his ASD and how it affects him. For example he sleeps badly sometimes and dragging him out of bed for a busy school day would lead to a tired, grumpy, stressed child. I can now leave him in bed and have a lazy day if I feel he needs it.

It is hard sometimes. I am juggling his needs and those of a toddler. I have to make sure he is seeing other children, I am responsible for sustaining his friendships whereas at school they just see other kids automatically. I feel pressure and worry that I am doing him justice. Sometimes I want a break! But it is also lots of fun. And I know he is being kept safe and cared for.

I will never put him back in mainstream school. We have the possibility of a specialist school opening locally and we are going to look into it. But if we don't feel it is right we will keep home edding instead. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[stayathomegardener]

You say you know nothing about nothing, that's good in a way you could learn together.
My DD is dyslexic and hated school.
I used to take her out of school at every opportunity for holidays, exhibitions, training and taster days.
So others taught her what I couldn't.
I know it's hugely frowned on now but she needed a break from the stress of school and gained so much.
She has her scuba qualifications, DJ's, photoshops for clients with an online agency and runs a small photography business at just 18.

If I had left her in school full time I am sure her anxiety levels would be much higher and her self esteem on the floor.

[soapboxqueen]

I'm in the same boat as you OP. My ds is in a (temporary ) placement that is not ideal. I feel like I'm waiting for a big issue to come crashing down to galvanise me to home ed but I suspect it won't happen. We'll just wake up one morning, he'll be 18 and I'll look back on his education and think 'well that was a waste of time'.


I'm buggered if I know what I'm going to do.

[stayathomegardener]

How is your relationship over the summer holidays?
Are you counting the days until he goes back or do you wish you had more time together?
Not a criticism if it's the former but that may tell you that you are not suited to HE.

I would also personally not treat teaching him tradition GCSE subjects as the most important goal.
Firstly make sure he is happy and not anxious.
Then focus on his interests.

[whatatod0]

Bin lorries -

mechanics / engineering / highway code too.

[ommmward]

bin lorries: this was just the first hit:

www.veolia.co.uk/merseyside-and-halton/RDC

there are recycling discovery centres in this country!

I bet there is lots you can do around waste collection and disposal. Start composting. Get him to sort waste into recycling for doorstep or to take to a tip or whatever.

[ommmward]

Eating:

get him menu planning, budgeting, doing supermarket shopping (and keeping track of the rough cost as you go round). finding out about ingredients and what's healthy and less healthy (get ready to cut down on sugar and salt and processed food and palm oil!). He can help with preparing food, and gradually get so he can do it alone.

[ommmward]

Fabulous!

So...

do you have anywhere you can do gardening? Can you grow some plants on the windowsill? Do you know anyone with an allotment, or a keen gardener? You could both go along and help them with their allotmenting (you'd get paid in veg, for sure!) Do you know people who might give you seeds or seedlings?

are there gardens you can go and look at armed with a flower identification book? (that's literacy happening without you even thinking about it!) Some local parks have a bit of flower gardening going on. Otherwise, this sort of thing? www.opengardens.co.uk/

you can get potatoes at the right time of year, in a kit, for free, Sign up for next year (you can put "home educator" in the box that asks what school it is). growyourownpotatoes.org.uk/

You can get free stuff from the royal horticultural society

www.rhs.org.uk/science/conservation-biodiversity/wildlife/encourage-wildlife-to-your-garden/plants-for-pollinators

Can you have a go at foraging for free food? www.fraw.org.uk/mei/archive/handouts/f-series/f01/f01-wild_food.pdf page 3 here has some bits and pieces you might recognise (e.g. dandelions, hawthorn)

Mustard and cress is the EASIEST thing to start with - grows very fast :)

[Astro55]

Can he have a reduced time table at school -

Most mornings are maths and literacy very much timetabled so he knows what to expect each day

The afternoons are more chaotic with free play or exploring/experimenting or creative stuff

He may be better suited to just mornings

[EezerGoode]

And bin lorries.and eating

[EezerGoode]

He likes gardening

[ommmward]

What type of person is your child? Is he a sit-at-the-table-with-a-workbook-cheerfully person? If not, then either HE is not for him, or you'll need to rethink!

How was it before he went to school? What did you do when he asked you questions?

How about finding out stuff together?

People aren't buckets - you can't pour knowledge into them. But if people want to find things out, then they can be guided by someone with a little more knowledge, and the world is their oyster!

[EezerGoode]

Ward...thanks for that post...I'm not that type of parent...I'm not a chat while you walk type..I know nothing about nothing..I can't spell and my general knowledge is poor..if he's out of school he will have to be learning at the kitchen table,from books..maybe a more confident type of parent ,who had a good education could chat and walk and the child learn..that's not me.id need lists and plans and books and rotas and timetables..I can't be someone I'm not.