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Home ed

Home educating parents, how are you perceived in your community?

46 replies

HomeEd · 18/12/2006 17:30

I'm intrigued as I think we are quite lucky, in that we have had no negative responses at all - to date!
I have other home educating friends who have had all sorts of awful comments made to them, or who often hear the popular misconceptions of non-home educating people eg: your child will be unable to socialise; is home educating legal? etc.
One family has been stopped and intimidated by a social worker and two policemen on a truancy sweep.
I just wondered what other home educating families have experienced?

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 11:50


actually am going to start a general HE cahat thread i think later

but first need to think of a title
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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 11:10

Yeah, you're probably right.

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 10:58

rofl

thinking "how are my childnre percieved in my community" thoughts at the same time though

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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 10:58

Would someone like to draw my attention to the thread title?
Budge up, Fillyjonk!

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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 10:58

Oh shit, I forgot the kids again!
I mush have left them at home somewhere, making a den out of cardboard and pasta!

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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 10:56

I have to admit that I'm surprised all three of us turned up in the same place at the same time!

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 10:54
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sorkycake · 21/12/2006 10:53

So sorry HomeEd, special promise, I won't do it again...

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 10:49

HE am [shock} that you could expect anything else from a HE thread, really other than constant diversion and off the wall commentary.

we are running on HE time here

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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 10:47

gives up!
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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 10:43

aaargh would so like another

i reckon we can't have 2 like dd. ds was an absolute delight-didnt sleep but aside from that was (and is) lovely

dd is also gorgeous but very high needs, in a dr sears way

sorry he have hijacked again

um

will tell lots of people my dcs will be he'd today and see how they react

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sorkycake · 21/12/2006 10:39

Well I'll tell you what HomeEd, I'll let you know what people think when they notice in January, how about that? So excited btw.
Fillyjonk, my Dd was horrible to even type that. People say "ooh if this one was my first I'd never have had any more", don't they, but when the horrid one is your first you don't know any different! My Ds is delightful, not cantankerous in any way lol. This one is also a boy, which Dh is chuffed with. He's convinced it's just girls!

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 10:36

yeah but HE-

um

I think you've just had several rather fine responses to your question right there. call them performance art, if you will...

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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 10:30

sorkycake.
I'm not being curmudgeonly, but I really wanted to have a discussion re the thread title.
I wanted to know if attitudes to HE families are changing as more and more families decide to do it - as it becomes more 'mainstream', and as more people know about it.
Every HE thread seems to morph into a discussion about socialisation and school v HE.
These are all interesting points, but there are other interesting aspects too.
And it gets sooooooooooooooo boring going over the same ground, IMO.
I suppose anyone gets tired of having to defend their corner all the time.
IMO it's a bit like saying "can I have some advice about breastfeeding, and I know other methods of feeding are available, and I'm not criticising them, but this method works best for us - although I know some people criticise it, which is their right, everyone is entitled to their opinions - but has anyone got any advice re dream feeds?"
or "do these boots go with these trousers - I know some people prefer shoes, and others shun any form of footwear, and I apologise to those who find trousers offensive, and to those who have less feet than I, or more" etc etc.

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 10:29

it does depress me how many HE threads end up with us defending our decisions

I usually just vanish when it goes this way though

sorky am so of anyone with 3. dd spent her first year screaming and can't go through that again but...

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sorkycake · 21/12/2006 10:19

Oops, sorry HomeEd

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HomeEd · 21/12/2006 10:05

Hm.. here's a quick reminder of the thread title 'Home educating parents, how are you perceived in your community?'.
If you want a HE vs school tussle, can I politely suggest you take it elsewhere. Thank you.

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sorkycake · 21/12/2006 09:56

On the lots of kids front, there are an unusually high (I thought) of larger families, the minimum requirement would appear to be 3 kids, so get cracking you lot!.
I'm 34weeks pg with my 3rd and everyone has said I should wait until the baby is born before de-reg'ing BUT, we thought about it and decided that actually the best thing is for us all to get used to being together first, welcome the newbie, and carry on as normal. My kids are 4.5 & 3 in Jan.
Tbh I can't wait until we can lie in a bit longer, eat breakfast leisurely, watch other kids and parents freeze setting off at 8.15am every morning, whilst we may well still be in jarmies, eating toast and wondering what games to play today. Shall we cook brownies (Dd's favourite thing), or go visit somewhere new?
I absolutely refuse to entertain my kids 24/7, I'd be knackered! I can usually spot those at playgroup who do 'entertain', they're kids are clingy and stroppy when things don't go their way immediately. They don't often 'wait a minute', before kicking off, parents stop conversation with you in mid-sentence to attend to them and sometimes don't resume, but get dragged away! What a life eh?
I know not all kids are the same before anyone says anything, it's just what I've observed from kids of a few ages.
It occurred to me the other day when we finally told my IL's that almost everyone is concerned with the 'social' concerns. Not one person has asked whether it will be better for them in terms of learning, life experiences, academic ability, creativity. Bizarre!

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 09:33

no getting out of that one, really, is there?

ok, but tbh we have had threads like that. tbh thats how a good percentage of HE threads end up on here.

so yes a lot of us are quite defensive.

and also...some posters clearly believe its true. we are all making a big investment here, and so...of course we are going to have reasons for this.

I don't know if I agree or not with HM's statement...will have to ponder. It tallies with my experience, I must say but...am not sure. But I do think my kids, esp my ds, are much more confident socially as a result of being allowed to take learning to interact with peers quite slowly. And I understand where she was coming from in saying it.

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danceswithreindeer · 21/12/2006 09:26

Heartmum2Jamie on Tue 19-Dec-06 11:32:11 said it!
I didn't at any point say children can't thrive on home ed. I'm not against it, what I'm saying is that if someone with children at school came on and said 'why can't home ed parents get it into their heads that children at school are more socially adept..etc' without backing it up I'm sure you'd be drawing up a lynch mob.

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danceswithreindeer · 21/12/2006 09:26

Heartmum2Jamie on Tue 19-Dec-06 11:32:11 said it!
I didn't at any point say children can't thrive on home ed. I'm not against it, what I'm saying is that if someone with children at school came on and said 'why can't home ed parents get it into their heads that children at school are more socially adept..etc' without backing it up I'm sure you'd be drawing up a lynch mob.

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 09:21

sorry, dwr, but who said that here?

a lot of us feel that our kids are better socially than they would be if they had been in school. I am pretty sure my kids are. I am not going to comment on other peoples kids. BUT bear in mind this is a reaction to the constant "despite over 30 years of reasearch showing that HE kids are as, or better, adjusted than schooled kids, your kid WILL be an asocial weirdo if they don't go to school at 3" comments.

ditto boredom. I'm sure that there are a lot of unbored school kids out there and I think thats great. What I do know is that HE kids, IMO, do not tend to say they are bored. Thats based on a sample of quite a lot of HE kids, at least 30 of my aquaintance.

what I will say is that the vast majority of HErs have experience (their own) of school, and also of HEing (through their kids). A LOT of HErs are teachers also, and quite a few have either had their kids in school before pulling them out, or have some kids in school and some not. So these statements are usually pretty informed. They might or might not be accurate-thats open to debate-but they are based on quite a lot of experience. Wheras, sorry, but most people with kids in school have little experience of HEing and how it can be done differently (it can also be royally ballsed up imo but thats another matter ).

My kids seem to be doing fine without school.

If it aint broke, why fix it?

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danceswithreindeer · 21/12/2006 09:03

Hi HE gurus!
I am a teacher and I really admire your commitment to your children and their education. I am neither for or against HE, each to their own I say! HOWEVER (and you knew there was one coming )... I think comments like:'Why can't people get it into their heads that HE children will be more social adept than their peers?' really gets the backs up of people who send their children to school, it's a sort of reverse snobbery that then implies that school educated children are getting a raw deal and then so goes the argument round and round.
I also think that (shock horror) all children are different. My children (not school age yet) are very good at entertaining themselves as is my little godson who is the same age as my dd and an only child however I have friends whose children just cannot entertain themselves. Nothing to do with HE or school. Anyway that's it. Honestly I do admire those who chose to HE but some of the comments on here are exactly the reason the HE v school argument will keep going.

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LazycowLyinginaManger · 21/12/2006 09:00

I am very interested in HE so it is good to read about experiencs but tbh I know quite a few children who are school educated (my niece and nephew for instance) who I have NEVER and I mean NEVER heard say they are bored. And that has included times when they have spent up to 5 weeks at a time in the sole company of their loving but very elderly grandparents and where tbh I'd have been bored . Even now as teenagers of 15 and 13 they never say they are bored.

I think some children genuinely are better at entertaining themselves than others, though I agree that if you have the 'I need constant outside stimulation' sort - HE'ing may help them deal with this.

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 21/12/2006 08:47

lol rb

have never heard a HE'd kid say they are bored actually, come to think of it

even those who are not marvellous at entertaining themselves are still very good at identifying what they want others to do to entertain them, if that makes sense. which is fine, really, some kids are more social than others. its just when they expect their day scheduled that it worries me a little. (for their parents as much as the kids, really )

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