Oxbridge info/ support thread 2014

[lismore]

Does anyone else with a DC applying for Oxbridge this year feel like having someone to share the highs/ lows/ questions- if so, please join in!
I have a DS who has just applied to Cambridge- our family has no Oxbridge background and he's at a state school which gives absolutely no advice so definitely feel at a bit of a loss how to support him.
I think he's incredibly brave even trying, especially as 80% get rejected unfortunately.

We'll have to look into the logistics of it. He has a 9am interview, and we are approx a 3 hour drive away, so I think that an overnight stay would be best. Not sure yet if they offer accommodation. He has an interview in Birmingham the next day, so would probably travel straight there afterwards to be ready for the next session! I will probably be his taxi, as I have the time available. It would be great if he could get uni accommodation for both places though to give him more of a feel for the unis.
Does anyone have any advice or experience on these matters?

Mind gone, if he has a 9am interview, he will be offered free accommodation and food the night before in Cambridge. You will not though, so as it will be a busy period, it might be worth booking something for yourself.

Thanks Slipshod, much as I would loved to have had a nosey, I didn't think I would get one! Yes, I will look into accommodation sharpish, I think you're right, it'll be a busy time there. It's all very exciting!

You can still have a little peek at the College, though I think it's probably best to wave goodbye at the Porter's Lodge and let them go.

Cambridge streets and coffee shops are of teenagers and parents, all having exactly the same conversations if you hear a smattering as you pass? Good luck

Late to the party - DD has an interview and I've booked us a hotel the night before. I didn't realise that she could stay in the college but she says actually she'll stay with me in the hotel.

I'm really trying to play it down as I know loads who are interviewed and don't get in and I sort of want her to be prepared for that. She is not pleased and says I should be much more positive!

Well done everybody on their interviews and good luck.

By the way - she has banned me from talking about it at home

Ha ha Slipshod - that is a direct quote from the letter DS had from his college " best to wave goodbye at the Porters' Lodge"...

Mindgone, we're also about 3.5 hours drive away, but luckily DS doesn't need to be there until 11. If it was 9am I would be going too :) Good luck at Birmingham. DS has an offer there and we are going to have a look around next week. He absolutely loved it.

Mind gone, just to check that you know he will actually need to request accommodation?

thecat Staying overnight is a good way to find out more about the college and the interviewers from the current students who will be helping.

Just make sure he restrains himself. A friend drank so much she was barred from the college bar before her unsuccessful interview. Since she was utterly brilliant we can't shake the idea that she blotted her copybook, so to speak.

Yes no drinking. It is a good idea for students to stay in college as they will get a feel for college and may e make friends they will remember if they get in. Take the laptop for lastminute interview prep the night before,and a charged mobile phone. I think it is a good idea for parents to visit but in parallel as it were rather than shadowing the student. Esp to offer moral support after day 1. Colleges are usually absolutely brilliant at making students feel welcome. The interviews can feel daunting because they always ask something they do not expect the student to know about just to see how they think for themselves and some students think because they don't know everything they aren't doing well and they dry up instead of trying to apply first principles and or asking the panel a bit more about the subject. My dd did a lot of reading around her subject so came across some of the ideas talked about at interview which really helped. Good luck. So much is attitude of mind.

Also those who tell you that not getting in is really just the same as getting in are like those who say labour doesn't hurt. It is, without any shadow of a doubt, fantastic to get a place at Oxford or Cambridge and the family and school and above all the student should without any hesitation pull out all the stops. Last minute worries about not being good enough or thinking the work might be too hard are natural but these universities do teach the students such a lot and because everything is within walking distance there is time to study and to do other things if wanted.Support the dc to do their best because it is very irritating afterwards if they don't get in to find that someone with very similar abilities did.How laid back should a parent appear? At this stage I think not too laid back. Ask all relevant contacts so that dc get at least one interview practice. Sort out 2 interview outfits so that if coffee gets on one it isn't a disaster. Make sure shoes are comfortable as there will be walking and standing. Get in the newspapers and chat over breakfast and dinner just to get practice with talking out loud with grownups on unfamiliar subjects.Do not waste your money on overpriced Oxbridge interview practice courses as they are useless. Do support dc to go to any society meetings relevant to his/her subject iv royal institution for science as this helps broaden the mind. Ask the head teacher or head of year to give an interview practice. When the interviews are over is the time to be very very laid back if not totally unconcerned in fact after the interviews you could mention that you aren't sure if some of the colleges look like ancient barracks.But not at this exciting and hopeful point. On the subject of which college, some are of course better than others but it is better to get into any college than not to get in at all and in my opinion (for which I will probably be shot) it is worth it ringing up the faculty admissions co ordinator with the name of a small,poor,but pleasant college for a third interview should they be considering such a thing.

Also on the subject of how to deal with other mums at school at this point in time: the answer of course is to appear totally laid back,mention that you are leaving all the prep to dc as he /she is very independent. With close friends of course it is fine to be excited. I must admit we always had blow by blow first hand accounts from patents and excited 6th formers at the dc's school which I found very interesting but it is important where school is concerned to avoid hysteria

Do tell the subject teacher at school that dc has got an interview and they might be able to help with extra reading and (perhaps) ringing up the subject tutor at the college concerned.I didn't do any of that because dd told all her teachers anyway but I did ask the head of the boys school to give her interview practice and he asked her who Julian assange was and she didn't (to my shame) know.It can be worth it getting a copy of the ucas reference from ucas. It may have left stuff out which you could ask school to send in before the interview. Incidentally if a real disaster happens it is always best to ask for another interview at the time because you can't ask for another interview when the interviews are over. I didn't do this for my ds and wish I had.

Those saying that their dc haven't heard back from Durham yet... Durham are notoriously slow at processing applications, so it's very likely that you/they won't hear anything until well after the new year.

Best of luck to all those with dcs applying in this round

All great advice but I just wanted to add that a perfect, polished performance is not essential. I cried in my Cambridge interview but still got in. Not that I'd recommend it! I just mention it to demonstrate that it's really about how you think. The more convincingly you come across the better, of course, but it's not everything.

Crikey, Funnyperson.
I was going for 'feed and keep alive' as my support plan for DS, should he get an interview.

Funnyperson, thank you so much for all the effort and very helpful advice! It will take me a few reads to take it all in I think!

Yes, I should have said thanks too, Funnyperson.

How on earth do you do all that while still not making too big a deal of it though? I mean, DS has it down as a very long shot indeed.

HellsBells, re medical school. I went to Cambridge 20+ years ago. I had many good friends who were medics. They had a fantastic time and are now senior in their fields, and going to Cambridge definitely helped. Medicine is intellectually demanding, and Oxbridge is imperfect shorthand for "I've got the brains to do this job". The terms are the same length for everyone. The work is intense but less substantially intense than what medics do when they become junior doctors.

thecat DH got in for maths (switched after a term but that's by the by) and recommends Godel, Escher, Bach as a good book to read. It's long though so maybe not enough time

Thanks funnyperson and glorious. At this stage - I think I'm the stressed person an DD seems perfectly laid back. Im sort of playing it like Lancelottie's son - as a long shot

On a superficial note - how are people dressing for these interviews. DD is looking at smart casual - ie; smart jeans, boots, little top with jacket or smart jumper (depending on weather). Is this OK? I'm assuming she doesn't have to be attired as if it were a job interview.

Hi Funnyperson - thanks for all the info. I feel a bit out of things as I don't have any contact with any mums at sixth form, so don't really have anyone in RL to compare notes with.

Can I ask what you mean by "it is worth it ringing up the faculty admissions co ordinator with the name of a small,poor,but pleasant college for a third interview should they be considering such a thing". My DS has three interviews at Cambridge, but all in the same college. Is this unusual? I know at Oxford they interview them in a second college, but do they do this at Cambridge too?

Also is it unusual to have a one day interview? My DS starts at 11 with a test and then has interviews hourly after that but is finished by 4pm. Looks exhausting!

Hattymattie, DS has been going smart casual to interviews so far - smart shiny shoes, chinos, shirt, jumper. He says very few interviewees have been in suits so far. I would think smart casual is fine, and I think it's important for them to be comfortable.

Lancelottie, yep, I am feeding him, paying for train fares, and not much more at the moment. Finding DS is not really keen to talk much about interviews so we're staying laid-back. He'll have had an interview every week this month, and then Cambridge early Dec, so I think he's actually finding it all quite tiring. Not helped by him wanting to go to a far away uni, so lots of travelling involved.