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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Higher education

I am putting way too much pressure on myself to get a first

53 replies

PippiLongBottom · 03/10/2011 22:50

So don't say it doesn't matter, and no-one asks what classification you got, it does matter and yes they do.

I neex to beat DH who got 69 and never got over it and has a massive chip about it. I need to prove to lots of people that I am clever and worthy. But mainly to myself.

I got a first in my first year (which doesn't fucking count) but obviously this year is harder and my reading list is heavy (English lit). I do my degree full time and work 16 hours a week. I have 3 kids 9, 4, 2 who don't sleep through.

I am beginning to feel very stressed and am
eyeing up the razor blades.

Please sort me out.

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Report

Jaquelinehyde · 04/10/2011 00:14

Pip what year are you in second or third?

Stoirin · 04/10/2011 00:25

You know you can't really get a first just through hard work, theres an element of random luck and something else too.....
check your scoring system carefully too, I just finished (mature student with tiny babies) and thought I had a 2.1, I ahd given up all hopes of a 1st a year ago. Turns out thats what I got though, having misunderstood changes to the various weighting systems.

PippiLongBottom · 04/10/2011 07:58

Morning. I'm in my second year.

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Mandyville · 04/10/2011 08:05

I don't get firsts/distinctions because I don't want it enough. I honestly think that, unless you really want it, you don't stand a chance. You're doing the right things. Keep going. Just try really hard not to go mad

PippiLongBottom · 04/10/2011 08:31

I got over 70 in every assignment and exam last semester and hope to achieve similar this year. 70 is my benchmark and if I do manage to do that this year, I'm safe to hope for a first.

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lizalmond · 04/10/2011 12:05

I agree, you can do it.

My suggestion for you is to find 10 minutes of uninterrupted time and sit quietly. Take a few deep breaths and then bring to mind the successful outcome that you want and picture it in your mind. Make the picture big and bright, and whilst looking at the picture, hear what you hear, see what you see and notice what good feelings are surrounding the positive outcome. Wind the movie on a bit, change it slightly to make it even better and get exactly the way you want it and remember that whenever you are feeling stressed about your course or succeeding, you can bring back the movie to help you realise that you can do it, can't you.

Good luck... you aren't going to need luck though, because you are going to succeed.

anon2011 · 04/10/2011 12:09

It depends what you want to do. Some careers options are not available to people with degrees below a 2.1.

Incroyable · 04/10/2011 12:12

If you have been getting over 70 in every assignment then you are doing very well indeed, and seem to be going about things the right way.

Someone said to me, in my final year exams, "you can only do the best you can with what you've got" and that has stuck with me, you really can only do your best.

Also, I used to tell myself, every minute I spend worry about it is a minute I could have spent studying!

witchwithallthetrimmings · 04/10/2011 12:24

I am not in literature but those students who get the firsts in second and third year courses are those that "get" the subject. They understand and feel confident with the material. They are not fixed on getting the "right answer" to the question but write what they think and are not afraid to take risks. I bet you are one of those people OP.
This year you need to read the books and get as much formative feedback as you can, talk in seminars, write a couple of pages on each book on ask the lecturer what they think. you will then be able to gauge how well you are doing.
In terms of strategy in exams it often helps to come at the material from a clear perspective- marxist feminist or whatever this gives you a way of structuring your argument so you sound more confident

TheGoldRoad · 04/10/2011 12:48

I'm in my third year and I also want a first. 80% of my course mates will be happy with 40% and we will all technically have the same degree. There is one annoying knob in my classes who is a complete dick who is all on with fake, false modesty who thinks he will get a first. I must get a better mark than him. I hate the self satisfied smugness of him.

My average now is 72.6% or something like that for 2nd year even though I only got 40 in one module, a few 80-85%s saved me. My nemesis has 76 but all averaging the same IYKWIM.

Anyhow, I know how you feel!

PippiLongBottom · 04/10/2011 15:46

Thanks all for your helpful suggestions. I had a full nights sleep last night which has helped somewhat.

Witch I engage with all my lecturers via email and have made massive inroads into my reading list- I am about 4 weeks ahead now. I do attend every lecture and seminar and always speak. I do all my secondary reading and have many post it notes in my texts.

I hope that I 'get' it. I try to answer from a perspective that interests me, which is usually gender. I do need to be a bit braver and more argumentative this year though and not play it so safe, I think this is coming to me more naturally now, so we shall see.

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kritur · 04/10/2011 21:43

Do the best you can, that is what is satisfying about learning, not the score at the end. If the best you can do is a first that is great, if it's a 3rd then that's great too. I didn't get a first, I got 69, really doesn't bother me but my 2(ii) did get me onto a PhD so that is possibly why. I now teach in a RG university and want my students to focus on the learning, not the grade, especially those in first year.

PippiLongBottom · 05/10/2011 15:48

I did my absolute best last year and got a first. I had no idea that I would be capable of that and didn't really give it any thought in my first semester.

Now I know I can do it (only just and with a hard slog) I still consider it to be doing my best and it really is all about the learning. I love my subject.

Doing a PhD would be amazing, but I don't think I would be able to invest the time required unfortunately. One day, maybe.

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Betelguese · 05/10/2011 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllaDee · 09/10/2011 11:50

Oh, I just saw this. I would put money on you being able to do it, TBH (namechanger here but I 'know' you).

But in any case, honestly, it is not the be all and end all. My mum is like your DH and never put it behind her, and honestly it is ridiculous. I have a 2:1 and am happy with it - it didn't stop me carrying on studying and loads of course mates also got 2:1s. I think we are the ones who didn't peak early! Outside of educational settings no-one has ever asked or cared as far as I know. And, um, I do find that a few people let it go to their heads - my parents have an acquaintance who manages to tell you in any conversation remotely related to education that he has a first and he's nearly 60!

EllaDee · 09/10/2011 11:51

(Sorry, that first line didn't half come across as freaky stalker lady! )

ginmakesitallok · 09/10/2011 11:55

I understand you wanting to do your best - and if you are enjoying it all the better! But in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter at all - my DP "only" got an ordinary degree, but has gone on to do a PhD and be a recognised expert in his field. In the long run his first degree doesn't really impact at all.

belgo · 09/10/2011 12:04

I think you should go for it. Work as hard as you possibly can and get the best marks that you can. What is wrong with wanting to achieve your very best, even more then your best?

I am close to completing the hardest academic courses that I have ever done (in a foreign language), and I have had many moments when I have been close to giving up. I have three children of a similar age, who often keep me up at night.

But now for me the end is in sight and I am so glad I persevered through all of the hard times and haven't given up.

PippiLongBottom · 09/10/2011 22:13

Thanks latecomers. Go on then EllaDee, Giz a clue.

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EllaDee · 09/10/2011 22:17

Ok, now I'm having misgivings I may be totally mis-remembering your name!

If you're who I think, your old name used to be a short version to your RL name, and you sent me an essay to read. If you're not, erm, sorry! But the rest of my post stands and I am sure you are capable of a first with those marks you describe.

PippiLongBottom · 09/10/2011 22:48

Yes, yes, that is me! Are you the one that was a l'il something?

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PippiLongBottom · 09/10/2011 22:49

Initials, yes?

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EllaDee · 09/10/2011 23:59

That's me.

PippiLongBottom · 10/10/2011 08:32

I just worked out your nickname. I was clearly a bit thick last night

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HSMM · 10/10/2011 10:38

I am just about to take my final exam in a couple of hours. I have top marks in my course work and although I know I only need 40 in my exam, I really want a 1st,so I know what you mean.

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