My son is seven; he’s just entered Year Two and this year will receive Relationships and Sex Education (SRE) for the first time. It’s not a moment too soon, in my view. I want my son to grow up in a world where boys have respect for girls (and vice versa), where ‘slut’, ‘sket’ and ‘slag’ are historical curiosities, and where school corridors and playgrounds are places where girls are not in constant fear of having their bottoms pinched or breasts grabbed. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go - - but early SRE as part of a broader package of measures could make a real difference.
When I wrote about this topic for Mumsnet almost two years ago, Jimmy Savile's life of sexual offending had recently been exposed, and the Rochdale and Rotherham child sexual exploitation cases were in the headlines.
Since then, it feels more urgent than ever that we tackle entrenched sexism and put a stop to abusive behaviour by boys and men before it starts. In the last two years, evidence of the sexual harassment and abuse that girls experience in schools – including rape – has been piling up. It emerged this year that just under a third of female rape victims are under 16. Further disturbing sexual exploitation cases in Rochdale and elsewhere have come to court and there are official inquiries into child sexual abuse in the family environment (where it is most commonly is perpetrated) and institutions. Campus rape is also under the spotlight.
We are starting to recognise the role our culture and media play in creating the backdrop against which violence happens. The impact of misogynistic and often racist pornography on children continues to be a driver for action and there is an inquiry underway on sexism in advertising. Abusive sexting and ’revenge porn’ are rarely out of the news, and female politicians from across the divide have joined forces to launch Reclaim the Internet to tackle social media abuse.
The national strategy on Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) – with a clear aim of prevention - is now in its third incarnation. There have been international developments, too: the UK, along with other Nations, must now implement the UN’s Global Goals, with a specific target on girls’ safety.
These strategies are to be welcomed, but with violence against women and girls on the rise, it is baffling that there is no law requiring schools in England to teach children about sexual consent or respectful, non-abusive relationships.
Of course, SRE can be taught badly. Girls can be told they just need to say ‘no’ more clearly, or warned of the risks of taking naked pictures - rather than both girls and boys being taught about the importance of gaining consent. It’s important, then, that a new SRE law has the specific aim of tackling sexism and abuse. Children need to learn about sexism, gender stereotypes, respect and consensual, non-abusive behaviour.
Government guidance and school policies (for example on safeguarding, bullying, behaviour and equality) need to set out clearly how to address violence against girls, backed up with ongoing training for teachers and staff so that they are implemented. We need ongoing programmes and campaigns that seek to change harmful behaviour and attitudes. Ofsted has a woeful reputation in this area and needs to step up, too. Critically, schools need to work with, and fund, experts in specialist organisations such as Rape Crisis Centres and other women’s groups to deliver projects that tackle sexism and sexual consent, but also provide support to the girls and young women experiencing violence and abuse.
School isn’t the only place children absorb information and attitudes. We also need a consistent approach to tackling sexism across different parts of the media – whether in films, music videos or advertising. Maybe this all spells the need for a more joined up approach right across government to tackling sexism and discrimination against women and girls? Without this, we haven’t even begun the journey to the world I want my son to grow up in.
Guest posts
Guest post: "Violence against women and girls is rising - so why isn't SRE compulsory?"
MumsnetGuestPosts · 13/09/2016 09:58
I think it doesn't help that we lump this into "sex education" so some parents get freaked out by the idea their kids are going to be taught inappropriate content.
I've mentioned it before but the C4 programme "sex in class" was a brilliant look at how sex ed could be updated for older kids (14/15).
For younger kids for bullying at my children's school they do role play with teddies and talk about how the teddies feel about different things and other people's perspectives. I don't see why something like that couldn't be used to teach faitly young children sbout inappropriate touching/harassment without even mentioning sex.
For sort of tween kids they could look at adverts that portray women appearing to enjoy things like their skirts blowing up and talk about how would that woman feel in real life, is the advert accurate etc. Again no need to mention sex or porn, but maybe a way to get the kids used to the idea that what you see on a screen isn't necessarily an accurate representation of how people act or feel in real life. Hopefully they could then apply those critical thinking skills to porn.
Sorry, epic post 
My son recently did mixed y6 sex ed and it sounded really balanced, the girls got to squirm during bits about periods, the boys got to squirm during bits about how to clean your penis, they both got to hear the stuff about each other that was taboo when I was a kid.
For some reason the emotional side of things seems more controversial to teach than the pure mechanics.
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