Guest post: "Young adults need to understand the facts about fertility"

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

Conversations about fertility usually take place when there's a problem. They focus on treatment, rather than prevention. But with one in seven couples having difficulty conceiving, effective education could help to stop those numbers from rising.

As we live longer, have children later, and often build our careers before settling down - we're facing a fertility time-bomb in Britain. Having children in our late 30s and 40s is not always straightforward, and both age and lifestyle choices can have an incredible impact on our ability to conceive. Yet, even though we are aware of this, the widespread disconnect between social and biological reality means that the extent of such impacts isn't always known.

So how do we tackle the misconceptions around fertility? For me the solution is clear, and that is encouraging the next generation to be as informed and educated as possible on this subject.

I know this is both a sensitive and emotive issue, and I am aware of the argument that most young people are already aware of their biological clock, and that adding to this pressure is damaging. Yet it is my opinion that such a view is short-sighted. By providing reliable medical facts we are looking to remove fear and anxiety, rather than create it. It is a simple fact that we cannot turn back the biological clock once it is too late, and we should be giving young people the information they need to make informed decisions about their lifestyle and future.

We need to be informing teenagers and young men and women of the possible effects of their lifestyle choices. There isn't enough awareness about the impact low or high body weight, smoking, alcohol, drugs, STIs and thyroid problems can have on fertility.

We have already been successful in reducing teenage pregnancy through Sex and Relationship Education (SRE). Contraception and conception are two sides of the same coin. Last year I wrote a letter to Nicky Morgan MP, calling for the government to include fertility education as part of SRE in the secondary school curriculum. I am working with South London Schools to develop a pilot scheme in which secondary school children are provided with clear information as part of SRE on both the male and female fertility timeline and the effects of lifestyle.

At the most basic level, young men and women need to understand the fundamental facts about their fertility. A harsh biological reality is that female fertility declines much faster than that of men, decreasing significantly from the age of 35. Women are born with a finite number of eggs, and the decline in fertility comes from a reduction in the number and quality of eggs as women age. This decline can be measured by testing to indicate how many active egg sacs a woman still has. Sperm quantity and quality also decline with age - but at a much more gradual rate.

When it comes to reproductive ageing, nature has created a 'gender inequality'. Family history of early menopause also plays a part, and I encourage young women to speak to their mothers and female relatives openly. Education is crucial to ensuring that women who wish to have children don't miss out on the chance of motherhood due to misinformation.

Without effective education, the number of people facing fertility problems is only set to rise. But by passing on accurate and responsible information we can empower informed adult decisions. We need to shift the fertility paradigm from treatment to prevention - education can help us do this.

[raisedbyguineapigs]

I take it by the silence that a 'guest poster' just pays some fish, writes a load of nonsense and buggers off, without having to answer, clarify or even listen to the opinions of others, despite being on a discussion forum.

[IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy]

Raised it seems so.

I find it frustrating, and generally against the whole point of the mn discussion board.

I'd quite like mn hq to pop in and enlighten us as to where they found the 'guest poster' I'm guessing it 2under2 and why they haven't come back to comment?

[BorisIsBack]

The op runs a well known ivf clinic chain

[DrCoconut]

I got pregnant at 37 without even trying (no opk etc). I now have my gorgeous little surprise baby. It's not all over after 35. My mum had my brother naturally at 43.

[DreamingofItaly]

I'm with albert. I'd never really wanted children. I went to uni and always wanted a career. I'm 35 this year. I have that career and love it which makes me so lucky, I want to do it forever. I've been with my OH 9 years, we're getting married next year. Suddenly I'm wanting a child and I'm scared because I'm reading about how fertility declines massively at 35. I miscarried at 22 and that memory scares me but being married before I have a child is important to me. So was having a beautiful home and the money to support a child while continuing to do the job I love. Plus, now I feel ready. I've never felt ready before.

Teaching teenagers about fertility as people have said previously could have mixed results...do they have a child with the wrong person early? Do they think "Pah, at 35 you're super old, do you even still have sex when you're that old?" (Poss over exaggerating but still).

When is the right time? Everyone is different and I'm afraid sometimes there's not a right time; it's simply time.

[stairway]

Apparently Alex Jones was unaware that fertility declined with age so there is always one bless her. I hope she's one of the lucky ones who says 'I conceived as soon as I looked at hubby'

[dodobookends]

Some of us have had to have the "don't leave it too late" conversation with our teenage DD already (because we have had to - not because we wanted to) and it wasn't particularly easy.

I was told by my GP that it would be best to tell our DD (as soon as she was mature and old enough to be able to deal with the knowledge) that she, like her mum and grandmother, would probably be menopausal and infertile by her mid thirties. That waiting to start a family would not be a good idea as low fertility and early menopause is frequently hereditary.

I could never have kept this from her. What if she left it too late, and then blamed me for not warning her?

She now knows that she will probably have to have children young - or it might not happen at all. She doesn't need this pressure already. How is she going to be able to cope with the knowledge if she isn't in a stable relationship at the 'right' time?

I hope things work out OK for her.

[Orlakealy1234567]

Sorry to sway majority here but my sister is 36 as are most of her friends and not one them have had kids as the deem career more important at the moment. My sister has had failed relationships over the issue. They see people having children in the media in there 40s and think why can't that be me too.

I have seen first hand friends 40 and 45 waiting as they don't want to give up a life style they love. One struggled to have a baby they other had two babies in two years as she was getting older.

So I can't agree with everyone who disagrees. I don't see harm in telling teenagers the facts about life. And that's all it is facts of life

[raisedbyguineapigs]

Alex Jones must be a complete idiot if she didn't know this. She's in the media, so must read the million and one Daily Mail scare stories. Apparently her mother went through the menopause at 43 as well, so she must have known. Maybe she feels it's socially and unacceptable to say 'actually, I'm not that bothered about babies'
orla Teenagers don't care about their fertility in their '30's. I don't want my children to be told to have children before they are ready, because I know how hard it is. And so what if your sister and her friends haven't had children yet? It's not the end of the world. Maybe they have fulfilling lives without and enjoy their careers (you know, just like men!)

[Itisbetternow]

Orla you don't know why your sister and her friends have decided not to have children yet. Why is there this awful presumption that if a women hasn't had a child by X age they are delaying or can't have a child. Some women choose not to have children, or some like me have the attitude if it happens great if it doesn't then I will deal with that (I do have children). Or perhaps some are being really sensible and waiting to meet the right man or God forbid some are just having lots of fun. Lots and lots of reasons why women do not have children and not all career related.

[Unthoughtknown]

What message are we giving to teens exactly? average age for first time mums where i come from is 25.

[littlejeopardy]

From reading the comments on this I wonder if fertility and infertility should be taught to teenagers, from both a biological and social perspective. What if a discussion on fertility got teens to think about things like housing, childcare, education, inequality? What if it got them thinking about politics and how to cast their first vote when they turn 18? The idea of not being in a stable enough situation to have children in your 20s is a fairly recent development. I wonder what teens think about that. Do they find it freeing and exciting? Or are they frustrated at being stuck in as extended adolescents?

[Lweji]

Maybe you should instead lecture the government about the need for free or affordable childcare from a young age, full salaries during maternity leave, equal paternity leave as maternity leave and more protection for parents in the workplace. And more affordable housing.

[littlejeopardy]

lweji Absolutely. Do that too!

[Lweji]

Sorry, I meant the OP.
Should have been more clear.

[littlejeopardy]

No worries. You are spot on tho.

[cheekymoocow]

Wow even I find this post ridiculous, I am in my early 20's I had my DD at 19, and as thankful as I am for her it has been bloody hard, I am still suffering with postnantal depression and she is 3. I am attempting to start a decent career, but constantly feeling torn or guilty because I don't get to spend enough time with her. I am living in a privately rented house without the even slimmest possibility of ever buying my own property because it is completely unaffordable to save unless I want to move back in with my parents for a year or two. And to top all this off, my partner of the last 5 years has just left because he can't cope with my PND any more and is really unhappy being an adult. Do you really think anyone would choose this to have a child because I know that I shouldn't of, the scare of infertility hit me hard, both my sisters have fertility issues and have now in their late 30s given up trying for children, when I accidentally got pregnant I was too scared that this would be my only chance for children because what if like my sisters my fertility declined a lot earlier than the norm? It's all being well giving teenagers the opportunity to "plan" for their fertility but this economic climate is not the place for it unfortunately. Anyway what is the right age for us to have children because according to the media I'm a young and naïve teenage parent but anyone over what 27, is being irresponsible with their declining fertility and to me that is still young not even taking into consideration whether you find a partner suitable to be a parent.

[Orlakealy1234567]

I don't think everyone is thinking this through.. She is not saying that teenagers need to be pressured into kids etc.. It's simply about education knowledge is power..I know many people including my brother who has left it too late for a family the only way they can now have kids is by egg doner and surrogate.. So all the years of money they have saved will be spent on some fertility treatment.. That's just an example.
However this doctor is highlighting there is a reduced chance of pregnancy in later years but the biggest factor is there is higher risk of complications such as Down syndrome, preeclampsia, miscarriage and yes there is tons of data out there.
I think people are taking it all far too personal we could mould a much more caring and understanding population, it could teach men in work places not to be predjice to co- workers who suddenly take 2 years off close together to have kids because clocks ticking etc

[EddieStobbart]

Or the men could take some of that time off.

[motherinferior]

And decent childcare provision, as in the Scandinavian countries where there's good provision from 12 months on so that women of all ages can get on with their work.

[SpookyRachel]

OrlaKealy, I don't think people are doubting that young people should know all about reproduction, including that fertility declines with age. I think they are disputing that that is THE answer to the current situation, which the OP suggests. There's also the question of HOW you get children to understand the issues - it's not as simple as telling them once and then they're informed; as the newsreader example shows, people can have been told something many times and still not 'know'.

[FrenchyM]

I'm 26, have NO plans for children in the near future but have already talked with my long term boyfriend about when would be good time for both of us (currently around 33/34 years old). I think there is already awareness about this issue among my age group - but most of my friends are like me and want to prioritise our careers, find the right person first and enjoy pre-kid life!

I personally don't think this should be a priority in teenagers' school sex + relationships education. There are more important things for teens to be concerned with in that area. The author mentions teen pregnancies are dropping - but there are still problems in this area that should be focused on first. e.g. Lots of experts have said this success is seriously under threat due to changes in local funding for contraception. (self plug alert: I recently wrote a blog post on the very subject: healthinvestigator.wordpress.com/2016/04/20/uk-teen-pregnancy-success-story-threatened-by-cuts/ if it's of any interest).

[mrswhiplington]

This doctor was on BBC1 news this morning saying we should be teaching girls as young as 9 years old, yes 9 years old about fertility in later life. What next, teaching them in reception class.

[VestalVirgin]

I genuinely believe the concept of women delaying families for a career is a complete myth. In my opinion, and I realise at this point it's only backed up by anecdotal evidence, it's because they haven't met the right person or been in a stable relationship ...and that hasn't been through choice either.

Exactly.

And then there's money. Women don't delay families "for a career" but for financial independence.

We know the fate that awaits us if we get pregnant before we have financial stability, and we also know the fate that possibly awaits us if we rely on a man for financial stability.

It just doesn't work thiis way. If government wants women to have children at a younger age you have to:

• educate young men on the facts of relationships, and how to be a good boyfriend with whom a woman would actually want to have children.
  

• create a society wherein having children at a young age is not a more or less guaranteed to make a woman poor for the rest of her life.
  

Since the first point here isn't really feasible, I suggest making sperm donation and single motherhood more socially accepted choices and financially supporting them.