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Guest post: "I no longer assume my pupils have beds"

36 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 02/12/2015 13:40

I experienced homelessness when I was a child. My mother died suddenly when I was seven and my brother and I were moved around a lot. We stayed with family and friends, we were put in temporary accommodation, and I changed primary school five times. It took me a long time to settle, and in that time I never really felt secure.

I'm now a teacher in London, and a mum. I have taught and supported a rapidly increasing number of children within homeless families. Thankfully these children aren't on the streets, but living in temporary accommodation means they don't have a stable, safe place to call home.

When you feel so insecure in where you live, it impacts on your relationships and on how you relate to other people. It not only makes children feel desperately sad, it affects their self-esteem so much that it's a huge barrier to them reaching their potential.

I once asked a boy - with poor attendance – where he lived, and he was so vague. He drew one room with sparse furniture. Everything was in one room. I said "Have you missed anything?" He said "No." I asked him: "But where is your bed?" And he looked at me and said "I don't have a bed, I sleep there." He pointed to a dot on the page where he was at night. That's when I first realised I could no longer assume children have beds.

I've had children who don't want it to be the weekend; who are really devastated when school holidays come. Some of the children at my school have expressed worries about feeling excluded, as a result of being new to yet another school with little or no understanding of what is being taught. They are often frustrated and sad. These emotions have a negative effect on their ability to succeed.

Looking around the school where I am today, the homeless children I teach aren't any less able than others. But their transient lifestyles mean they feel disengaged from education, and so their well-housed peers leap frog their progress.

I can relate to feeling excluded from the learning taking place within the classroom. I experienced feelings of frustration, resentment and sadness when my circumstances would not allow me to participate in school trips, complete homework or be on time for school. My behaviour suffered, and I was angry and lacking in confidence.

I remember being punished for my inability to complete homework, despite desperately wanting to do it. In my school now we provide free breakfast for those that need it, homework clubs, and often give school uniforms and book bags to children without them. For children whose parents are on a low income, who don't have a home computer or even the space to complete or concentrate on homework, these things are vital.

As teachers, we are going above and beyond to try to counteract the impact of the disruption. Children in homeless families are often forced to change schools and friends on a regular basis, which can affect their emotional wellbeing and confidence. Yet while teachers may have the knowledge and compassion to recognise the specific needs of homeless children, we only have limited resources to meet them. At times, we feel stuck - because there are pressures on us to get them to learn. But, it's not uncommon for children to fall asleep during lessons or ask if there is a place where they can sleep.

Families being moved to accommodation outside their borough will encounter longer travelling time to school, which can cause lateness and poor attendance. Disruption for children in temporary accommodation also means they miss on average 11 weeks of schooling annually. Some children going through housing issues may experience bullying and social exclusion.

The effects of homelessness on children can last a lifetime and cannot be underestimated. Unless children are given the equal educational opportunities that are so difficult for us to provide under these circumstances, this will lead to a disrupted and disadvantaged school career and future, which goes against all that teachers strive for and believe in.

This Friday, hundreds of schools will be taking part in Slippers for Shelter, with pupils and teachers wearing their slippers for the day to help raise money for the charity's emergency Christmas appeal for Britain's 100,000 homeless children.

Watch primary school teachers talk about homelessness in .

OP posts:
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Baressentials · 15/01/2016 10:50

oops should have said DC1 did have his own room and bed. ~My other 3 and me shared a smaller room.

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Baressentials · 15/01/2016 10:49

Me and my 3dc didn't sleep in a bed for 18months. We slept on a duvet on a floor in the same bedroom. Dc did have his own room and a bed. SS knew, hv knew, teachers knew. But because we weren't technically homeless (my dad let us stay in his house) to the outside world we were living in a spacious 4 bed detached house.
Happily we are now in our own home and yes, the first night of sleeping in a bed again was fucking bliss!
Sadly my dc weren't the only ones from their schools in this situation, and our area is a ~"nice" middle class area.

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Weddinebelle85 · 15/01/2016 10:38

This is so sad. Children should have happy lives :(

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chocorabbit · 08/12/2015 23:18

And well done OP. My son once did tell me about a student who had fallen asleep in his class and the teacher let him sleep! She must have been able to tell that there was something seriously wrong with his family Sad

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chocorabbit · 08/12/2015 23:14

Don't Shelter know that crippling rent increases push people to buy their properties? Confused So yes, with social housing rents rising the highest it is really concerning. I saw the statistics last year and in many Eastern European countries the percentage of outright home ownership (without any mortgage) is almost 100%. The UK might have a very high GDP but a lot of it is spent on rent or massive mortgage repayments.

What also irritates me is that the newspapers keep mentioning how or when people set a foot on the "property ladder" and this according to them implies "affordability". The fact that with property prices having gone through the roof repayments are or will soon become unsustainable with people on the brink of starvation or getting homeless doesn't seem to concern them Hmm

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Shelter1 · 04/12/2015 13:47

Thank you for everyone's comments on this guest blog, the impact of homelessness on children cannot be overstated. You can read many more personal stories from people affected by the housing crisis on our Shelter Stories blog: stories.shelter.org.uk/

If you're interested in how we can tackle the housing crisis then we'd recommend this timeless blog from our head of policy at Shelter, which lays out our position and the need to build more genuinely affordable homes: shltr.org.uk/47q

Finally, if you need urgent housing help then please speak to an adviser for expert advice on our free helpline, which is on 0808 800 4444 (free from mobiles too) and open 8am-8pm Monday-Friday, and 8am-5pm Saturday-Sunday, 365 days a year. There is also free, expert housing advice on our website - whatever your issue: england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice.

Thanks!
Shelter

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intothebreach · 04/12/2015 06:28

We are facing homelessness at the moment, following a difficult divorce with domestic violence, and although we are currently still in our home, the stress of the whole thing makes me shout at the children sometimes. They are picking up on how anxious I am. They are both bright, but tired all the time, and it's having an impact on how they are at school. Our current sleeping arrangements are less than ideal although they do both have their own beds. I knew what the outcomes are for children raised in poverty, and who do not get enough sleep and it breaks my heart because I don't know how to save them from it.

We are luckier than so many other families in the UK - we do eat, and we do have a roof over our heads at the moment. It's hard seeing poverty up close and personal like this. I have many friends in my neighbourhood who are struggling just as much as me, some also because of domestic violence.

I wish George Osborne had a clue about how families like ours live. I was a sahm / carer and I can't work at the moment because of my caring responsibilities. Even if I did work, we would still be well below the poverty line - and I would hardly see my children, so that their long term outcomes would be even worse because they need my help to deal with the damage they have suffered. I see neighbours trapped in exactly the same situation.

As a previous poster said, meritocracy doesn't work. I have a degree, worked hard all my life etc. (though in low income jobs such as youth work and community development - services which have suffered in the recent cuts). I took my children to the school fair of a much more affluent friend last week, and cried all evening when I got home because I will never be able give my own children the educational opportunities, aspirations, activities, holidays that the children I saw there take for granted. The only difference between those children and mine is that they have high earning dads - most of their mum's are sahms.

I love my children and do my best for them with the very limited resources I have - is that enough? I have spent some time this last month making a plan for possibly becoming homeless (e.g. putting toys in boxes for storage) and it hurts. And we are the lucky ones - we are not there yet!!!

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TheHouseOnTheLane · 04/12/2015 00:57

Garlick why do you hope I was joking? It's a perfectly reasonable suggestion actually. There are loads of people who'd love to emigrate but can't afford to/don't know how/aren't in the correct job to get a visa.

Why would it be so bad to offer cheap tickets to those families who'd like to but are unskilled workers?

There are more opportunities here for unskilled workers. DH has been offered three jobs since our arrival only 3 months ago....one in a factory, one in an office and one fitting windows...he took the one with the best wage

We've emigrated to Australia with a LOT of help from my inlaws (basically they paid for my expensive Visa and flights) I would NEVER have managed it because DH and I are not big earners.

Why is it so unreasonable to suggest a scheme to help people?

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Howaboutthisone · 03/12/2015 21:22

This is so sad. I'm a teacher too and often get frustrated by the expected punishment for forgetting a pen or wearing trainers. With what some children are going through, it's a blessing that they make it into school at all. I just had a little cry at the thought of that little boy who slept in his uniform. I've seen some children from very difficult home lives and really wish that more was being done to address these issues.

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Garlick · 03/12/2015 16:59

Ah, okay, just looked it up. Thanks.

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Indantherene · 03/12/2015 16:49

Garlick Your post of 15:11. You seem to be confused about what House meant. In the 1970s you could emigrate your entire family to Australia for £10. These were the Ten Pound Poms.

She wasn't talking about the earlier policy of shipping unaccompanied children off to Australia.

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purplepolkadots · 03/12/2015 16:31

I've just done the inviting to a playdate thing, actually. Little girl in DC's class who is perfectly nice but with a number of problems and no friends and is being bullied. We are taking her out for the afternoon. She was beyond thrilled when asked, which was a bit sad in itself. DC and I have talked about how much difference just having one person who cares a bit / likes you can make, and I am determined to keep an eye open for children like that.

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Garlick · 03/12/2015 15:31

I think there is a housing crisis: what are the solutions?

The obvious solution is lots more public housing. Unfortunately we have a government that believes in taking assets and property out of public ownership, into private. It also believes meritocracy works: anyone can improve their own circumstances; those who don't, deserve punishment.

The punishment also falls on the children, naturally.

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sohackedoff · 03/12/2015 15:21

It is upsetting but not surprising. However, it reminds me of that saying "it takes a whole village to raise a child". How many of us notice a child struggling and invite him/her to a play date or do anything. Probably very few - as if poverty or whatever is catching. Sympathising is easy but it doesn't change anything.

Pullofthemoon: why is struggling embarrassing?

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Garlick · 03/12/2015 15:11

I hope you were joking, House.

"Parents weren't told the truth.

"Their children lost their real identities and were told they were orphans going on holiday to a place where the sun always shines.

"The policy was endorsed by Government of the day.

"It was cheaper."

This is a heartbreaking story, and needs to be heard. Thank you for posting, OP and notasgreen.

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Stillunexpected · 03/12/2015 15:04

While I don't think it was necessary to identify the poster's school, I also think there is no point in everyone getting in a twist about her being named in the blog. If you had googled the teacher's name, you would see that this issue was also picked up by the Mirror online a number of weeks ago and she was quoted saying the same thing there. If her school were going to have a problem with it, she'd have heard by now.

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TheHouseOnTheLane · 03/12/2015 14:44

Moon probably to instigate another "Ten pound Pom" offer and give families cheap tickets to emigrate to Australia.

There would be many who'd love to go and Australia has the space.

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pullofthemoon · 03/12/2015 14:42

Buttons, think for a minute how you'd feel if your child was in this lady's class and you were struggling. How embarrassing. Anyway, it's anonymous now - good call by mumsnet

I think there is a housing crisis: what are the solutions?

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Dorsetmama · 03/12/2015 14:37

Makes me want to gather them all in my arms, give them food and a hot drink and a home. Completely irrational of course. But i often wish i could help in those kinds of ways.

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bigbuttons · 03/12/2015 14:29

bloody hell,every single thread on this site has moaners on it. Stop bloody moaning. Do you trawl threads looking for ways to put down posts and find fault with things? I guess you do the same in RL too. How tedious.

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WoodleyPixie · 03/12/2015 14:27

MN have changed to an anonymous poster, which is probably for the best.

I don't think this will prove to people that poverty exists in the UK. Sometimes its not even about poverty though. Its a lack of affordable housing or salaries too low to cover basic necessitates? I'm not sure which one needs to be changed or can be changed even.

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pullofthemoon · 03/12/2015 14:23

The point is, that if I had a child at this woman's school I would very probably know exactly which child(ren) she meant. That's embarrassing and upsetting.

I've no doubt this lady's heart is in the right place but it's not her anonymity she's waived but that of her students.

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WoodleyPixie · 03/12/2015 14:16

No its not relevant. If she felt it was relevant and needed identifying she would have named the area herself. Its in poor taste to try and out someone on a forum for their real life job. Yes anyone else can google and identify her easily enough I'm sure but to post a link on an internet forum is just wrong.

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TheHouseOnTheLane · 03/12/2015 14:15

Lets not have this marvelous post derailed.

Stick to the issue.

I am glad she's sharing like this. It might shut some of the people on here up.....those who say "Oh poverty doesn't REALLY exist in the UK"

When it quite obviously does.

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mummyagainin2016 · 03/12/2015 14:09

I've read the Talk Guidelines Woodley and fail to see how my post linking to the teacher's school's website broke any of them....
Is it not relevant where (in London) she's talking about?

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