Guest blog from an FGM survivor: "the government must act now to prevent more girls being cut"

[MumsnetGuestBlogs]

Over 20 years ago, I came back to school from summer holiday. In my new uniform, I walked into the Year 3 classroom. I was beyond happy to see that I had the same teacher again  a woman I cared about. All I wanted to do then was tell my teacher about a terrible thing that had happened to me, and how confused I was.

That summer, I had been taken to Africa to undergo FGM. Of course I did not know it was called that at the time, and every child will have a different word for it.

I told my story. I waited for shock to take over her face, but her expression did not change. I expected her to get angry and upset - just like when she heard about the bullying in Year 2 - and thought there would be a big meeting where it would all be sorted.

Looking back on that day, my heart still breaks. She didn't seem shocked. Rather than asking me if I was ok, my teacher looked directly at me - and told me how amazing it was that I had been though this important "part of my culture". I tried to butt in and say No Miss  it was terrible", but she carried on telling me that it was like the Jewish coming of age celebration 'Bat Mitzvah'.

I had been to a Bat Mitzvah, and knew it was not the same. I just walked away. I didnt speak about FGM for another 20 years, for fear of being ignored again.

There has never been a prosecution for female genital mutilation in the UK, although it has been illegal for 28 years. Last week on BBCs Newsnight, Keir Starmer, Director of Public Prosecutions, said that we are closer to a prosecution than ever before. When this finally takes place, it will send out a strong warning sign that the UK has a zero tolerance policy on FGM. But we wont see prosecutions on a meaningful scale unless everything about how we deal with this issue in Britain changes.

Over the past 12 months, Keir has worked with me, and with MPs such as Jane Ellison and other activists such as Efua Dorkenoo from Equality Now, who has been banging on doors for over 30 years, to break down the barriers to prosecution.

But - as the DPP said, quoting something I told him from my own experience, "a child is not just going to walk into a police station with the FGM legislation and say 'I would like you to charge someone using this'".

Getting a prosecution is vital in achieving justice for a young woman or girl who has been abused - but the reason we have never had one in the UK is not simply because the police or CPS are not doing a good job. The police and the CPS are at the very end of the process. They need information from either a girl herself, which isn't easy; or from somebody who is responsible for safeguarding that girl  and this simply isnt happening enough.

The main reason we have not had a prosecution for FGM is because countless individuals who are charged with protecting girls from harm  teachers, social workers, health professionals and anyone and everyone who comes into regular contact with children - either do not have enough information or, worse, do not feel accountable for child safeguarding on this issue.

Everywhere there are echoes of how society used to deal with domestic abuse, or child sexual abuse: in some schools its still considered to be a family matter. At Daughters of Eve we receive emails from teachers who have had a child tell them that FGM is either going to happen, or has already happened. Because there are no safeguarding guidelines, they email a small charity like ours, and ask us to deal with the case. I find that pretty shocking.

One of the last emails I received was from a teacher in London. She said that a young girl in her Year 5 class was being taken to Africa during the summer in order to undergo FGM. She had told the head-teacher, who was not interested; she was concerned that the parents would "leave the school" if they did anything.

Yes, that's correct. The head-teacher was more concerned about holding onto funding, which is allocated according to student numbers, than about protecting a child from severe physical and psychological harm  something which the UN defines as torture. The teacher ended the email with "My heart breaks when I think what can happen to one of the loveliest learners in my class." That was truly heartbreaking, and still brings tears to my eyes.

Children at risk - or affected by - FGM spend half their time in school. Their teachers are their world. Those same teachers need to feel accountable for dealing with this extreme form of child abuse.

But last week Martin Howarth, Head of Children's Rights and Well-being at the Department for Education, decided that no guidelines will be put together for schools to help protect girls at risk of FGM. This is an utter failure - and shows how little has changed over the past two decades, since I tried to tell my story.

People sometimes say that FGM is a complex issue, but dealing with it is the same as for any other child safeguarding issue  no more, or less, difficult for the authorities to deal with. Outstanding education professionals like head teacher Clare Smith of St Werburgh's primary school in Bristol are already showing the way, by specifically warning pupils about FGM in PSHE lessons.

Another incredible teacher, Lisa Zimmermann, came to work on FGM while planning a horse-riding trip as a reward for some students. She was told by a senior teacher at the school to "be careful with those girls as many of them have had FGM". Yes, senior teaching staff knew that a large number of their students at risk of FGM had already had it, but due to school politics and inadequate policies, nothing was done. In response, Lisa helped start Integrate Bristol; she began by working with four scared young women - there are now over 100 young people speaking out against FGM and other forms of violence against women and girls in Bristol.

But these great individuals (and others like them  they know who they are) are only dots in a big picture. They simply cannot do everything.

Systems need to be put in place at a statutory level. Data needs to be gathered by midwives and other health professionals on girls at risk. And the government must ensure that schools are made to do their part.

Let's remember that a prosecution means we have already failed a child; sadly this summer I am sure we failed many. We need to get over ourselves on the whole issue of supposed confidentiality: as with other forms of abuse, a childs safety and well-being should be our first priority.

The only people who can put these systems in place are the Prime Minister, David Cameron; the UK Home Office; and the Secretaries of State for Education, Michael Gove MP, and for Health, Jeremy Hunt MP. They must act now; if they dont, more girls will be mutilated.

Finally, I would like to ask everyone reading this to keep your eyes open - and take action if needed. In June, the NSPCC set up an FGM helpline to make it easy to do something if you think a child is at risk. Ask your child's school what they are doing to safeguard children from FGM. Insist that targeted PSHE lessons are delivered which talk about FGM  both in primary and secondary. How can we expect a child to ask for help and advice if we are too worried about offending to discuss the issues ourselves?

Every child, regardless of colour, race or religion, has the right to protection; they have the right to be safe. Ignoring FGM is racist- it means that girls from some backgrounds are less protected from violence than others. Speaking about it, and ensuring schools tackle the issue is not.

Parents at the school gate have a key role. While waiting for your child or when your childs friend comes over for tea and seems sad or nervous  particularly after the summer holidays  ask her if she is ok. You may be the missing link  the person who can really help protect her, and change that girls life forever.


If you are worried that a child may be at risk of FGM, you can contact the 24 hour NSPCC helpline anonymously on 0800 028 3550.

To call on the UK government to show leadership in tackling FGM in the UK, please sign this petition from Daughters of Eve and Equality Now.

[babymassageN19]

I have no words...
But I have signed.
Good luck.

[babymassageN19]

I have no words...
But I have signed.
Good luck.

[babymassageN19]

I have no words...
But I have signed.
Good luck.

[Bicnod]

Signed and tweeted.

You are a brave and amazing woman.

I truly hope the government listens and makes the necessary changes to protect innocent girls against this barbaric practice.

[Hazeydays]

Glad to see more work being done to highlight the issue of FGM and its very interesting and indeed powerful to rightly state that this is racism to not act or treat these girls differently...

Too much now we are focused on being too PC which leads to children and their abusers falling through the cracks...

Knowing friends who work on preventing FGM in Kenya I appreciate the complexities of attempting to change mindsets and attitudes towards women and sex. It will not be an easy process but I really wish you every success with your campaign and petition...

[Crumbledwalnuts]

Totally back this campaign. There's a big momentum about this now. When people like you tell their traumatic experiences it makes the campaign stronger every time.

[PrincessFiorimonde]

I have signed the petition.

Nimco, my heart goes out to you, and to all the girls who have suffered like you.

[PrincessFiorimonde]

Please note that this is clearly a thread about one specific issue, i.e. the horror that is female genital mutilation.

If you want to highlight another issue, please start a new thread about that issue.

[whatever2]

I second the above post, lets not excludes kids due to their gender, that's just sexist and it certainly isn't off topic to talk about boys.

All child genital mutilation is wrong and no child, male or female, can consent to such an act just as they cannot consent to sex. These irreversible and dangerous procedures are crimes and human rights abuses or the very worst kind and hugely damaging and can result in the death of both boys and girls.

Yes its disgusting that no prosecutions have taken place, but at least girls have a law in place that theoretically protects them and at least makes their abusers think twice or have to take them abroad. With boys, their genitals are mutilated openly, the crimes are celebrated, and even sometimes funded at taxpayer expense in NHS hosptials! If boys had half the protection girls have it would still be a massive step forward.

Lets campaign to see a gender neutral law put in place protecting all our children rather than only targeting a minority of vicitms of genital mutilation, and then lets look to see the prosecutions go through the roof, whether it be those mutilating boys or girls (or both).

[whatever2]

BTW I'm afraid won't be signing the petition as I am strongly opposed to sex discrimination in all forms. (were it gender neutral I'd happily spend several hours promoting it for you).

I expect many others feel the same, therefore if you want a successful campaign then please make it more inclusive.

[NatashaGurdin]

I've signed, I don't believe we can call ourselves civilised if we allow this abuse to continue. In some ways I wish we were more like France when it comes to this sort of thing. I love the fact that we are generally an incredibly tolerant nation when it comes to people's beliefs etc but I think sometimes our tolerance is taken advantage of.

[waps]

Signed. FGM should not be tolerated anywhere, abuse that is tolerated out of respect for culture is a can of worms that needs opening. Once you know what it really is then I don't see how it can be regarded as anything other than grievous abuse.

[YoniMatopoeia]

MiracleRiver - I personally wish that male circumcision was illegal unless carried out by qualified medical staff, and then only for medical purposes. I would sign a petition asking for boys to be protected in the law too/

This particular campaign is about stopping something that is already illegal. To get some prosecutions under an existing law, where no-one has been prosecuted.

Are you saying that we shouldn't campaign for the user of the law to protect girls until boys have the same protection in the law.

And while I am absolutely against non necessary male genital mutilation, I do not agree that it is the same as female mutilation. The female mutilation is PRIMARILY done to control the sexuality of women and to make sure that they dont enjoy sex (as I understand it). Most circumcised men can still enjoy sex.

[namechangesforthehardstuff]

What here could possibly be interpreted as being pro male circumcision or anti male by any reasonable person?

How can MRAs hijack something like this? It's just beyond me how a person could be so blind to anything outside their own agenda in this way.

Sad sad sad.

[newtokingston]

Thank you for sharing your story. It is so important that we get these messages out there. I teach child protection and safeguarding in schools and this is always included in my trainings. I highlight the importance of this be taught to all children as part of PHSE to raise awareness for all children, but also to ensure that these 'cultural beliefs' are challenged and questioned. It is so important that people are clear that FGM is abuse, It not only has lasting physical scars but very severe emotional ones too.
I am constantly surprised at staff within educational provisions who have never heard of this before. I fully support the improvement of education around FGM for all staff and students, as well as ensuring information on helplines are made available. I promise to keep raising this awareness and challenging beliefs around FGM within all my trainings. Good luck, you are a very strong woman. x

[garlicbaguette]

I'm so sorry your childhood suffering was ignored - or far worse than ignored; you were told to relish it! I'm horrified that there are STILL no safeguarding guidelines for teachers and other adults in positions of trust.

I've signed the petition and hope your voice will finally be heard.

[brendanwynne]

@DoItTooJulia" I think that Messers Cameron, Hunt and Gove are incredibly unlikely to make the necessary changes you suggest"

I am more optimistic than that. The UK is increasingly showing a commitment to dealing with FGM. Some fantastic ministers as pointed out above by Nimco, although more leadership needed.

"Also, it's a women's issue"

Is it though? It's a child safeguarding issue which is already a priority and not that complicated to deal with in reality - as long as front-line professionals deal with it as they would with any other form of child abuse.