Missing Reception - bad idea?

[whizzylala]

Great to find this T&G board, haven't been on it before. Just having a real dilemma and wanted to pick anyones brains. My DD is due to start reception in sep, she is currently at local prep school in their foundation class, it was meant for just a yr as she was bored at pre school / nursery and subsequently behaving like a monster. Now she is great company, stimulated and doing really well. I fully intended her going to the primary school we have chosen but on giving in our notice the prep school have offered us a decent bursary because "they don't want to lose her" (have said they believe her to be T&G) wow - what a pleasant surprise! It would still be a financial struggle though. Went to speak to primary head, told her roughly what level she was at and she straight away said it sounded as though she needed to go straight into yr 1 as she wouldn't be stimulated enough in reception. (They did this last yr with a girl with a sep b'day) Now if she was a september b day that would make sense but my DDis feb and I am a bit worried about her mixing with such older children, she is still a little girl!
Head also said she would have to repeat a yr at some stage to fit back in. All sounds a bit worrying to me. The head sounded surprised that I wanted to look at the possibility of her staying with her peers (more work for them?).
So now I just don't know what to do - fork out for what I know is working and where I believe she will thrive or go to state and give it a chance - the school has a great reputation locally. Also I have a DS who would have to have the same treatment......
I have though t about this for hours - literally and cannot get ny head around it, I really feel as though I am sitting right on the fence and don't know which way to get down.
Sorry it is SOOOO long! Thanks in advance.

[1dilemma]

Forgive me gigglewitch but IMHO your teachers behaviour is soooo wrong! They should be obliged when children are little to 'spread the load', she is teaching all the other children in the class a really bad lesson, it's sad. I really don't believe she couldn't have found another Joseph/concert performer. She has missed the whole point if she thinks it's about a) ability b) showing off her favouritism at that age. Sorry.

I'm the opposite of whoever it was earlier and thought you were not 'allowed' to accelerate in English state schools. When you read about some of the struggles of late August born premmies or twins who would presumably be better if they had been kept 'down' a year it's very sad for them and their parents to have inconsistant application of the rules.

Our school has combined classes but we've not got to that level yet, the cynic in me would think how much of this is for the schools benefit and not my childs

[twentypence]

Ds is in a new entrant class in NZ. He was given the option to move mid term 2 to the year 1 class with some children 6 months older. As he is changing schools in term 4 anyway I asked for him to stay where he was, and so he just goes to that class for reading and maths. Most of the other work is topic type work anyway, or he gets a group to "lead".

He will be in year one for a whole term and then go into year 2 in Feb. So technically he will have somehow missed at least 6 months of school, but I guess the main thing he won't have to repeat a year at any stage.

[gigglewitch]

we have a similar-ish situation but here it's almost the norm - DS2 and three of his peers who have all been in the [state] excellent school "nursery" class are going straight into a class of Y1 children, at the same school. A small group of them is obv better than a single child being put in an already established class of older children, though.
They are apparently the group who already mature and academically at the level of the Y1 children, and in the case of my DS he needs someone brighter than him around to make his head shrink a bit because he is sooooo smug at being top of the class / teachers pet / Joseph in nativity / main bit in concert although proud i do think he needs both the pushing forward academically alongside realising that others can do what he can IYSWIM!

[1dilemma]

I'm with cory but perhaps a little less demanding (but I also agree that the state school will be more concerned with getting the below average achievers up than streatching the above average)
tbh I can't really see why anyone would move a child up at the age of 3/4

[susia]

It's years ago with me but when I went to school I was a year above, my parents were encouraged to let me miss a year and I didn't have to repeat it. I don't know if the same applies or not nowadays. TBH it wasn't great as when I was around 11 I was physically alot behind other girls in my class some of whom were about a year and a half older than me.

Also, I think it would have been better for my confidence to have been the top of the year below than middle of the year above.

[seeker]

There was a child at dd's school whose very determined mother managed to get him to repear Reception for various compliacted reasons. It was a nightmare at secondary transition stage because the Authority insisted that he went straight into year 8 to catch up with his original cohort. It too a year of arguing for him to be allowed to stay with his peer group.

[Littlefish]

I have never heard that Critter (I'm a teacher and former deputy head). Most LEAs are extremely reluctant to move a child out of their chronological year group. I've only known it in one case, where a child moved from Finland and had never been to school before (aged 8). He stayed an extra year at First school (which goes up to Yr 4). However, when he moved to High School, the school insisted on returning him to his chronological year, thereby separating him from all his friends.

WendyWeber, where does your information come from?

[critterjitter]

Can I confirm that it is the case that birthdays between 01/09 and 28/02 can skip a year?

My DD is September born, and the Head point blank refused to allow her to skip a year (Reception) on the basis that they were her cohort and would always be.

We're now home educating and DD is relieved to be allowed to count beyond 10 and request harder books without being told off by her teacher. However, she does want to be in a school environment still.

[whizzylala]

Thank you all soo much for your help, advice and thoughts.
I went back to the head of prep and have managed to get a bit more help so we are going to give it a go. A bit scared of the commitment but if we just can't keep up with it then we can always go to primary school. I do think that it is the right thing for her at this stage, much better than repeating a year etc etc so here goes.....
Thanks again,
I am sure I'll be posting again now I have found this board. Have come to conclusion that my DD is definitely bright rather than gifted having read some of your stories but think she is probably G&T from schools point of view.
Thanks again,
Whizzylala.

[loadsofsmiles]

My dd was very advanced at Nursery. Her teacher spoke to a Private school about a bursery for her as she thought it would best cater for her needs. She was working at a Year 2 level well before she started school.

We decided however to opt for our local state school which is very good. We weren't prepared to be finacially commited for the next 15 years as we have 2 children. Why pay when you have a good state option?

She is now in reception and loving it. The school differentiate her literacy and Maths work and she does quite a lot with the year 1 children in her class (it is a mixed Rection/ Year 1 class). What she really enjoys though is the playing. She can do this at her own level, playing is open ended and children learn so much through this.

I can't tell you what is best for your child, but I do know that starting school is often enough of a challenge in itself, and it may not be necessary at this stage to skip a year.

[cory]

I would go to the state school and demand that my dd was taught at an appropriate level within her year group.

But if anything had to give, then I would think it better if she missed out on some academic stimulation in reception than missed the social advantage of being with her peers. Remember a lot of reception is play anyway, so the difference between her and the others will be less obvious (assuming that she knows how to play- and if not, then practising is probably good).

Repeating a year later on sounds miserable. And going up through school a year younger potentially very isolating. IME the difference in maturity between Yr 2 and Yr 3 is very big.

[fembear]

"I think what is making it hard is that the state school is a very good one, if it weren't then it would be a no brainer! I have spoken to a couple of mums and both couldn't fault it."

But are their DC comparable to your DD? What suits one (or two or, even, the majority of) children may not suit yours. Can you speak to the parents of G&T children to see if the school caters for them?

Also, a school takes its character and culture from the HeadTeacher. Is either HT likely to move on in the near future as that may negate your reason for choosing for/against either school.

[EachPeachPearMum]

This happened to me Whizzylala.
I learned to read at 2 (dm was a primary teacher, I was interedsted), could write soon after.
When I started Infant school, I had already completed the infant 1 reading scheme, so they put me directly into the infant 2 class.
As they thought it would cause problems later, I had to repeat infant 3, though in a different teacher's class.

It was horrific- I can still remember being heartbroken in the playground on the last day of school, when I realised all my friends were going up to juniors (separate building) and I would have to stay back.

I was bored the whole year I repeated (though thankfully I had a lovely teacher, much nicer than the other infant 3 teacher, who I had hated). I never really made proper friends in my own age group.

I was also way ahead of all my classmates throughout junior school, which was a horrible, and boring experience. I learned more in the first 2 years of school than I did in the next 5.

At secondary, I went to a different school than all of my classmates, so it didn't make a difference there, but I had already been turned off school by then.

If you can stick with the independent, I would say do it.

[mobileslostisitinthefreeze]

I would think twice about skipping a yr.
I skipped a yr and was put in yr 1 after about 6 weeks of primary, then when I went to secondary I skipped another yr. I ended up doing my A levels at 15 (My bday is August) and then dropping out. The work was fine, it was just the other kids, they were so emotionally advanced that it was like they were a different species! some of them were nearly 3 years older than me (aug bday)

[morocco]

have another word with head from state school about your dd starting in reception and differentiated materials etc, bearing in mind that in many countries your dd would not even be at school yet, so if she is GT it's not going to ruin her education if she has a slower start. if he's still keen she move up to yr 1 and repeat yr2, I would be v concerned about her peer group relationships and how she will feel when 'relegated' later on
what will you do if the bursary is not forthcoming for ks2 and will it put pressure on your dd to perform at school?
can you afford to send them both to private school? I wouldn't send just one, ds2 is always looking for any excuse to feel unloved and unwanted as it is . he'd love to play that card when older
of course, there is always the home ed option as well

[avenanap]

My ds is 9 and he skipped a year at his prep school this year because he's very bright. It was a mistake. He gets on well with the other children in his class and he works at the top level, aswell as doing work from the year above. His old head wanted him in her class so that she could challenge him, then she left. I spent along time last year trying to find him a school to move to when he was 10 which would take him in at year 7, it's been virtually impossible. It is really frowned upon, the rule of thought is that the school should be able to manage a G&T child in their own age group, especially a private school as this is what you are paying for. My ds is moving this year, the only school that will accept him wants to move him back to his age group, depsite him being 2 years ahead.
If your daughter has to repeat a year in order to put her back with her age group it will upset her, she will be moved away from her friends and she will have to see them leave without her. It may appear to be a good idea now but they really should be able to set work for her ability rather then let her skip a year, even a state school should do this.

[QOD]

my dd did 3 mths reception then skipped up to Yr 1, then did yr 1/2 in a mixed class they had Reception then
recep/yr 1 mix
yr 1/yr 2 mix
yr 2

So she missed out on a lot of play!
It affected her friendships, the older kids she was with were bottom ability for their year and some of the nice kids in her year where in the normal class.
It took to yr 3 for her to be in a class with certain of her friends, and socially it impacted all of them.
If you can do it, stay private!

[Romy7]

Just realised that looks like we school hop - we move a lot, honest!

[Romy7]

DS1 school is rated excellent across the board by ofsted... and I absolutely agree in every other respect except this one. DD1 went there for yr 2 and DD2 starts in september - DD1 v bright but very easy going and hard worker so happy wherever (she's at 4th school in year 3 ) - DD2 has physical disability and would benefit enormously from small class sizes and independent ed... but no way I can afford 3 lots of independent fees, and each one has a valid claim!!!
State can't refuse you at a later date, but you are reliant on them having a place - and if it's a good school and you want a year R place, they're like rocking horse *&^%...
Good luck with your decision!

[whizzylala]

All your thoughts are so helpful thanks. Keep em coming if you want!
I did mean that I would have to send DS to private too by the way, can't vouch for his capabilities yet as he is only 2!
I think what is making it hard is that the state school is a very good one, if it weren't then it would be a no brainer! I have spoken to a couple of mums and both couldn't fault it. I was just quite surprised by the skipping reception thing, it sort of put me off a bit. I suppose I was expecting her to say oh well we'll just differentiate for her, but perhaps there just aren't the resources. Deep down I want to keep her where she is but do worry about the long term financial commitment. I wish I could try them both on and then decide! If i were to try and get her back into this state school at a later date can they refuse us because we have messed them around?

[Romy7]

DS1 worked alongside Yr R children in state when he was pre-school (joint FS unit and they thought it was the best way to give him appropriate stimulation - we were never asked and didn't even realise until summer term - they had approached the LEA for advice), then we moved county and he effectively did yr R again in new school. He's now yr 1 in the same school and tbh thinks he's god's gift because he hasn't had to think for 2 years... hence is a lazy fat toad who they can't get to put pencil to paper. He's sort of working with yr 2 for some stuff but it's all a bit of a mess. They've left it too long to sort out and so are asking us what they should do now. The main focus for state schools is to raise the level of the lower achievers to bring them in line for SATs (imho!), so generally speaking kids who are already exceeding SATs levels prove a bit of a challenge - how much resource do you put in for no effect on your school results?! If she is thriving where she is and they've offered a bursary I would scrimp and save and keep her there. Smaller class sizes would do it for me alone... Mind you, we're in an infants/ juniors situation, which exacerbates the problem as there's nowhere to go to access differentiated taught work unless it's 1-1... I wouldn't want him in juniors prematurely tbh...

[aintnomountainhighenough]

I would definitely leave her where she is, they are much more likely to tailor her education. I can't believe the state school are advising that she miss reception and then have to repeat a year at somepoint. At my DDs state school they definitely aren't in to developing their potential so if your local primary is the same your DD definitely wont achieve her potential.

[WendyWeber]

A Feb birthday doesn't have to repeat a year in the state system though - birthdays between 01/09 and 28/02 can skip a year - so I don't know why the head said that.

I know several children who have skipped a year (none skipped Reception but one - with a Feb birthday - did skip Y1) and gone on to do well at a selective grammar at 10.

[SniffyHock]

Def agree that being with the older children would be hard for her esp if after 2 years she has to stay back.

when I was at school a new girl started in yr 3 with us but after a few weeks they realised that she was in the wrong year group so moved her down to the infants! She was gutted as infants and juniors was (and is) a big thing. For the rest of school she generally wanted to play with us at break time. Imagine how she felt when we left.

I don't want to sound like I'm making too big a deal of it but I used to teach at KS2 and know that children can make a big deal of things like this.

If you can, I would keep her where she is and move her to state school for year one.

[Hulababy]

I assume with DS you mean if you send DD to private school then you feel DS should go also.