Starting reception earlier - September born

[LillyC]

So my almost 3y old is early September born. At the nursery all the staff tells me she is advanced for her age so I'm really worried she won't like to see all her friends leaving for reception and her staying behind. She's ok being the yongest in the group (which is currently the case) but not so much in being the eldest. So I'm really worried about her being bored, feeling she's missing out before her friends will leave the nursery and not developing as quickly as she could. Whereas you can find a lot about delaying reception for summer kids there's nothing in my local council about september ones using one of those spaces to start "earlier". Has anyone done it successfully? If so what did you had to do to get it? By the sounds of it, we will have to be teaching her at home to keep her motivated until she goes to school and realizes that once more she's bored

[PettsWoodParadise]

DD was so ready for school aged 3 and she is a Feb Birthday. We found a local independent that had a class called pre-reception and it was half days like a pre school but for some classes they put DD in with the older children and used resources for the reception and Y1 classes and she thrived. For the last term she did full days. Starting reception at 4.5 she had a reading age of 6.5 and by Y2 one of 11. The fees were half covered by the entitlement to free nursery education and it was a lot less hours back then (DD now about to start Y10) and don’t know how the free hours work now. For us we were paying less for the private school plus a pick up by a childminder than childcare costs when she was younger.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

missing the previous school year by a matter of minutes here so this was something I worried about and yes I don't think she did much at all in reception academically plus there have been plenty of occasions where she has probably been "held back" for want of a better term by being in the year below where she would have been if she hadn't been so large I was in labour for so long... BUT now she is 12 does it matter too much, probably not. she has always been strong academically (even if she had been the youngest in the year above she would have been). The issues we have had haven't been so much academic (probably because we try not to put too much on that side of life, work hard when required but don't let studying rule your life kind of approach) more emotional and maturity wise as she finds a lot of her year very childish and this has been a constant moan over the years. that is life though and unless you went to a private school I don't think you would have a chance of getting your child into the year above. Schools round here are so full there would be no room so I think it is just something we need to adapt to.

[spinn]

My 3yo turns 4 in sept. Same situation, all the friends start school this September and he is more than ready to as well but has another year to go. (Even school his siblings go to have questioned why he isn't starting - I've actually halfheartedly considered turning that 9 into an 8 on the birth certificate) - I figure we will use this year to ensure he is solid academically.

Maybe appease your worries by looking at smaller schools for primary where they have split class year groups so there will be periods as a younger on and older one in the class.

[Lara53]

This was the case for my DS2 (5th Sept birthday). All his friends were going to Reception, so we actually moved him to a different nursery where there was more outside space, forest school, swimming and French lessons plus all the other nursery stuff going on. He was busy and made loads of new friends and never bored

[GrasswillbeGreener]

I don't know what your chances are, but in your position I'd definitely try to see whether this could be done. If my early October daughter had been 2 weeks early instead of 2 weeks late then I would certainly have been able to put her up a year at the independent school she started at. I think it would have helped her as she is bright but has always come up to expectations rather than gone beyond them, which seems to be just her personality. Like you I was educated in a different country and our family experience was all of being young in the year and thriving on it.

I have been very glad her July born brother was young in his year, even though we had issues of immaturity with him at times, the older he has got the more grateful I have been in fact. (mine are both teens now)

Good luck.

[LillyC]

SleepingStandingUp what I meant was she actually prefers to be with older kids (which is the case now) than with younger ones. Maybe because she prefers to look up the older ones to learn from what they are doing. Even with older ones (as in a few months older) she is bossy and loves to pretend-read to them or tell them what to do while playing.

[SleepingStandingUp]

What do you mean about her being OK as one of the youngest but not the oldest in the group?

[LillyC]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. In Portugal we do calendar based, so I (born in Nov) was in the same year group as people born in Jan that same year. That was valid for my sister too. We were both the youngest in class and we didn't face any issues other than being maybe a bit smaller. Same with uni, I went to Uni still 17 and only did my 18th while there already. The only thing I missed out was the fact my parents didn't allow me to go on the final school trip with my friends before uni because I was still 17 so wouldn't be able to "reply" by myself if anything happened.
But I take your feedback and experience that maybe it's not a bad thing and she'll enjoy it anyway. Thanks

[TheBrockmans]

Oh and in terms of size, physical development and sporting opportunities it helps being in the right year group.

[TheBrockmans]

DS is very able, but emotionally I am pleased he is the oldest. He was reading fairly fluently when he started reception but this meant he wasn't bored as he could always pick up a book to read. He has subsequently told us that he used to enjoy getting a group of his friends together and read to them. He has been able to channel his creativity because he found academic skills easier.

Now in ks2 he is still ahead but the gap closes somewhat when other dc start to read. We don't push him ahead in maths or English, but rather encourage his interests to be broad, learning additional languages, studying geography and history and in writing. He is not usually bored because he has an enquiring mind and will find things to occupy himself. We are lucky that the school has been fairly relaxed with his reading- he had read through most reading books in nursery before he started so they let him be a free reader. I think you should concentrate more on finding the right school rather than starting early.

We did at one point have the option but the problem is that either he would need to repeat a year further on, or he would need a secondary school to take him early, be the youngest in his year group, the last to learn to drive, legally drink, girls in his year group would be up to a year older when it comes to relationships and sex. Going to university when turning 18 rather than 19. Even little things such as teachers showing a 12 cert in yr7 - although we might not object the schools often won't show it if someone is young then the class moan that they have to watch PG.

[extrastrongmints]

Putting children down a year is pretty well evidenced as being a good thing

Actually there is evidence that, like most forms of retention, holding children back a year can do harm. In the US it's referred to as redshirting. Parents sometimes do it to try to skew the odds in favour of the kids doing well in sports/athletics. But in the long run it does bright kids a disservice socially and academically.

In contrast, "there is plenty of evidence that bright children carefully selected for early entrance tend to do very well indeed, both academically and socially"

[PatriciaHolm]

Realistically, this doesn't happen in state schools. Putting children down a year is pretty well evidenced as being a good thing for many children at 4, but there simply isn't the evidence for doing it the other way.

There are plenty of things a good nursery and you at home can do to engage even the brightest 3/4 year old, whilst also making sure she has the social and other skills that reception require.

[SingingGoldfinch]

My daughter could read, write and tell the time before she started school too. She was never bored in reception though.

[Starlight456]

A lot of the reasons for delaying is research says academically summer born don’t do as well.
It isn’t so much about reception but year 1 when they need to sit down much more it gets tougher.

As they get towards high school the lack of maturity in many of the summer borns shine through.

You can do things at nursery pre school. My son could read before he started act, tell the time on the hour and half hour.

Enjoy the extra year

[SingingGoldfinch]

My dd (13) is September born and while I wouldn't say she's gifted she is quite bright and could've easily started school the year before her 5th birthday. I remember worrying about her getting bored in that final year of nursery but in actual fact it was fine and the nursery did loads to keep her engaged and challenged. Starting school was a breeze and she still loves school now (yr8) but I feel lucky that I technically had an extra year with her at home. Enjoy the last year of her being at home and pre-school - it's such a precious time and there's plenty of time for the structure of school.

[Soontobe60]

She won't get a Reception place until she isn't almost 5. Have you looked for a school nursery where the EYFS children are all together? That way she will mix with older children and may be less 'bored'