Hi,
I'm a dad, but I can't think of a better forum upon which to ask this question.
In a telephone conversation between my missus and a year head at my son's (State) school, it was mentioned by the head that he was enrolled on the 'talented & gifted' scheme. He has an aptitude for science reflected in his exam results, is science ambassador for his school and has done some public events with other pupils.
Which was news to us (and him). We've not heard anything like this mentioned, not received a letter or literature, and it wasn't mentioned when we went to parents evening just recently, or received his written report for the year. Our lad knew nothing about it.
Nor has he been engaged on anything seemingly G & T-specific, not been offered additional tuition etc. Fortunately he's very sporty/athletic so he's invariably in a state of perpetual exhaustion and not likely to want to do anymore of anything, academic or otherwise.
But the question is - seeing as the school was unable to get around to telling us his parents, let alone the pupil - is this G & T thing just a fiddle? Perhaps to just add names to a roll so some funding can be secured from the Dept for Education? Are schools actually expected to do anything with these so-called G & T pupils beyond saying they have one or more at the school?
If he really was enrolled on a G & T scheme, how could we tell anything was different, even if the school decided best to not tell us?
Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.
Gifted and talented
G & T - is is just a fiddle?
orsino111 · 15/04/2013 18:57
Fingers crossed. They don't usually award bursaries or grants for under 11s/13s so it sounds hopeful. It's OK to have one child at one school and one in another, you do have to match the child to the school if you see what I mean. I don't think MN send out notifications so you have to check it. There's a private message facility though, you get notified via email when there's a message. It's up by your post on the right hand side. When you have a message the envelope at the top of the screen goes red.
He's 14 and just been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder and dyspraxia (they are slow off the mark here). He has hypotonia in his hands and feet so struggles to walk as he finds it painful (may be a bit of the sensory processing disorder at play here too). He has little bits of high functioning aspergers but not enough traits for the paediatrician to say this is what he has. He's generally very lovely and caring but can like to be in control and has firm views on how people should behave. He wants to debate everything which can be very draining. There's no obsessions or none of the other traits. He does get on a lot better with the teachers (he finds teenagers his own age immature) but he's always thought of himself as an adult and I don't think being an only child to a single mum has helped as children living like this tend to take on this role. He's incredibly articulate, he always has been. I have friends who believe that he's been here before (they are not loopy), he is like a little victorian gentleman though and chose his own outfit for a friends wedding; top hat, cane, bow tie etc. 
He was speaking in sentences at 10 months, could identify all of the alphabet, shapes and numbers up to ten two weeks after his first birthday (I remember because someone bought him a toy bus with the letters, numbers and shapes on the side for his first birthday - and here was me buying him stacking cups!). He started to read at three and within an hour he was reading Mr Men books. He was reading Roald Dahl by the time he started school and just seemed to pick things up very, very quickly. He's always been a bit of a philosopher/deep thinker but he loves everything. He's the only kid I've ever met who managed to score 70% in a RS exam when he only managed to finish half of the paper. He's doing 11 GCSE's and hopes to be a barrister, which will put the annoying debating habit to good use I suppose.
I am on facebook but I don't use it. You can apply for DLA even though Aspergers hasn't been confirmed providing he needs more support than a 'normal' child his own age. It's hard raising a child who needs teaching the basic rules of people, especially one who will walk up to strangers and tell them that they shouldn't be smoking because it will kill them. 
It's horrible to move them around so much. His bursary was withdrawn from his current school in October (finances of the school) and it was so stressful thinking he'd have to move again and knowing that there was no where else. It's all sorted now, thank God, but we've had some real nightmares with other schools due to bullying (staff as well as pupils!), mainly due to his poor social skills. It's always the last thing that you want as it's never in your child's best interests but there's no choice.
I try and teach him but he doesn't seem able to use what I've taught him in new situations so has to be taught again. He's absolutely right with the smoking but he's a teenager now and it's not as 'cute'. He told a couple off for swearing a few months ago but because he was inside a bus shelter they thought it was me and gave me a load of verbal abuse. It's not safe for him to do this, not for him and those around him.
There's no harm in being diagnosed with Aspergers as it does open doors to help. There comes a time when those cute little quirks stop being cute and start to become a problem and it's good to have the support in place. I think the social skills books are great but they can only cover so many scenarios and you do find that, in some cases, the social skills teaching can be like locking the door after the horse has bolted.
Academically, I'd encourage him to learn about subjects that they don't teach in school as it will reduce the chance of him being bored. We used to do a lot of extension work, so if they were learning about the egyptians we'd go to the museum in London to see the Rosetta stone and do some extra work on that. There's also music. You may find that your son is happier when he starts school as he'll be busy with all of the subjects so has less time to focus on one thing. They may expect him to 'learn' the letters like the other children but only so that he doesn't feel left out. His reading book will be far different, my son was able to read whatever he wanted to.
Just ignore other people, it's easier not to mention it in all honesty. They will say 'oh, isn't he a bright boy' when he starts to speak to them and it's better just to smile and say 'oh, he does like to talk' or something along these lines otherwise they won't get it or will have you pegged out as some sort of tiger mum. You're better off being laid back and letting him get on with it. Google is your friend but it's also OK to tell him that you don't know. 
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