Honest opinions - am I being over-anxious?

[Rowlers]

Before having DD, I never much bothered with the doctor; I'm not really a worrier.
Since having her, I've seen the GP maybe 2 or 3 times. Each time I come away feeling like a complete idiot, wasting his time with a trivial issue.
DD is a very good sleeper. Last night she didn't sleep well at all, kept waking up, seemed very uncomfortable but we couldn't find anything wrong.
This morning I found a big blob of what looked like ear wax on her grobag. She was grumpy and did not go back for her nap (she usually smiles sweetly and falls asleep very quickly).
I made an appointment to see the GP to check that everything was OK. He checked and was polite but said there was no problem. Great but I came away feeling like I didn't really have answers. He didn't give me any reason why it had happened or any advice at all.
The thing is, I do wonder if I am over-anxious and it is all me being an over-protective first time mum.
Does anyone else feel this way? Don't think I'll bother again.

[Bozza]

Oh fee that must have been very scary. Glad she recovered OK.

Rowlers I do think that ear infections are one of the hardest things to detect as a parent. I mean DD has the upset tummy and now she's got the chesty cough - I know thats what she's got - with an ear infection in a non-verbal child how can you know for sure?

[fee77]

I never used to make a fuss, but earlier this year DD had a really high temp. First day, monitored it. Second day, she slept loads, gave calpol. Third day, really lifeless, still hot, whingey. Phoned NHS direct - they told me to take her to the emergency doctors. What did he do? Gave her neurofen and sent us home. DD was still floppy and pathetic. Next day i took her my doctors. The caring doctor said "It is you first child, you are bound to get worked up!" And then the recommendation that i give her calpol and neurofen. Luckily, i lost it, asked them to actually look at her, at which point she refered me to the hospital, to "get it checked out." To cut a long story short my DD had meningitis. It took 2 doctors, 2 registrars and 3 consultants to find this out, yet my first aid book pointed to it straight away. All the time i felt like i was a neurotic mother. I wasn't - i had left it 4 days. BUT i am now. The minute DD is poorly i panic. I cried the other day when she had a temperature!! (By the way she is perfectly fine now. Another caring consultant said "She is not seriously ill" i did argue, pointing out that she was only 7 mths old and had spent longer in hospital than i had in my whole 33 years.)

So in answer to your question i don't think you are being over anxious. You are a mum, and we worry, it is our job.

[Rowlers]

Bozza - don't ask me for advice on when to see the doctor!!!
Joolstoo, if it had just been earwax, I wouldn't have gone to see the GP, you're right, that would have been silly. I took her because she was so out of sorts, and seemed no happier this morning. In hindsight, it all seems silly. As a child I was plagued with very painful ear infections and I suppose I wanted to eliminate this possibility. Should have waited a bit longer to see what developed.
It's not nice when the little mites are poorly though is it?

[Kittypickle]

Rowlers, it does get easier. We took DD to A&E when she was 2 weeks old as she got a cold and obviously it's harder to breath when you're all bunged up. But the book said get medical help if they are having trouble breathing, so off we trotted !!!! DS had a blob of earwax fall out the other day and it didn't occur to me to get worried and I neither of them have been near the GP since April which was just to confirm that DD's spots were chickenpox. The other thing you could do if you're worried is ring your GP surgery and ask for a GP to call you, that way you can discuss it with them and if they feel worried by anything you are saying you can take her in.

[GeorginaA]

Bozza - if you're worried about her, take her in. I wouldn't do for a normal cold but the chesty cough rings alarms for me (but then ds1 is very prone to chest infections).

[Bozza]

Georgina that sounds like a great system.

Rowlers was in the same situation as you with my DD. She is my 2nd and although she has had several colds and chicken pox she has never been to the doctor's (apart from developmental checks) so I'm not much of a worrier either. Anyway last weekend she had an upset stomach (very sick one day and then a 2-3 days of diarhea). Then exactly one week later she had the same tummy upset - very sick on Friday and diarhea Friday through to Monday when I took her to the doctor. He said it would probably clear up in the next day or so but if not then take in a sample. Felt a bit of a fraud but all my books said babies should be seen after 48 hours of diarhea. I had been giving DD dioralyte and she wasn't showing signs of dehydration but still....

Have to say NHS Direct always seem to recommend seeing someone if you ring up about a baby. So I think you did what you had to do under the circs Rowlers.

Now at the risk of hijacking Rowlers thread - DD has a streaming cold and a chesty cough (ie not just a tickly one caused by swallowing mucus). How long should I leave her before going to the doctor?

[JoolsToo]

tbh - I disagree with spacemonkey saying ask on here first - that could be dangerous!

if you're at all worried go to the GP - stuff it if they think you're flapping - as long as you're reassured that's all that matters.

Mind you if they say there's no probs then you must accept that (unless its something you're REALLY worried about of course! - am I making sense?)

PS - tbh - I wouldn't have gone with earwax probs, I have waited to see if anything developed - but then we're all different - no criticism of you - you just asked for honest opinions and thats mine

[breeze]

typo

[Rowlers]

Georgina, no unfortunately we don't have that although it does sounds the perfect solution. Everyone at the GP's surgery is very helpful, I have to say.
Breeze, is the NHS "webshite" really awful then or is his s a typo?!

[daisy50]

Rowlers I take it the GP checked out your dd?s ears? He quite possibly didn?t give you any answers because he didn?t know any. If he checked her over and couldn?t find anything abnormal he?s probably non the wiser about the cause of this than you are. You were quite possibly right, it was a blob of earwax and now its gone. Good of you to go to the GP in the first place though, just to check there wasn?t something there which could be seen. You can?t be too careful with young children, especially when they?re unable to tell you what the matter is. How old is your dd?

[GeorginaA]

Rowlers - does your GP surgery have a practise nurse for quick visits?

Ours does and she always seems underused - it's great. You go in, you're seen usually within 5-10 minutes, you either get the reassurance you need, she can prescribe basic stuff (eye drops, antibiotics etc) but if she's in the slightest doubt or thinks its serious she will queue jump you to the GP.

Hardly ever see our GP now... we use NHS Direct then practise nurse and very rarely the GP.

[Rowlers]

Thanks for replying!
I don't feel guitly at all about wasting their time, just feel a bit daft really.
I have never found NHSdirect to be that helpful personally, but I have only phoned once...
I suppose I'm just wondering what happened to the worry-free "healthy" person I once was.
Think I'll ask on here first in future...

[KathH]

i don't know if this helps but after 4 kids (youngest 7 1/2 weeks) i think if in doubt then i'd rather feel stupid going to gp and it being nothing then scared to go and it being something serious - this is what GP himself actually recommended! All the same, i do feel especially with the baby, that at the moment that i should have my own chair in the waiting room!

[breeze]

When Ds was first born I seemed to be at the doctors ever week, although it was no DS but myself, before having him I went once a year or so, but I then started going weekly, pain in chest was a bad heart, head-ache was a tumour etc etc. It did stop, but don't feel guilty, like other have said, it is better to be safe than sorry. NHS direct is a good start though, and they do have a webshite where you can find more info out.

[Lonelymum]

I would like to reassure you. I hardly ever went to see a doctor unitl I had my children but now I sometimes seem to be there every week. It goes in cycles: no appts for months and then one a week for a while. You do feel like you are wasting their time, but you have to be kind to yourself and say you are a first time mum, probably with no former experience of childcare, your dd is the most precious thing in your life and any small deviation from the norm is bound to worry you. Maybe today you did go to see the GP for no real reason, but you had to find that out. Next time, you will know not to worry. My eldest is 8 and I have 4 children altogether and there are still times when I go in about something trivial, but it is new to me and worries me. You learn from that and don't bother the GP about the same thing next time.

I have to say some GPs are more sympathetic towards the trivial worries most mums experience and it may be that your GP is not one of those. But don't beat yourself up about the fact that he is not very tuned in to your concerns. Change GPs if you think it is worth it.

[mumsosad]

Have you tried NHS direct? They always err on the side of caution with babies so may well reccomend seeing GP but it can be useful for diagnosing something such as the problem you describe. I have 4 children and if I am unsure about symptoms that I cannot place I phone them for this purpose. Hope this helps.

[spacemonkey]

Don't feel like an idiot - it is better to be safe than sorry. I would probably call NHS Direct or post on here as a first port of call if I was unsure about whether something was serious enough to warrant a visit to the GP.