At the moment my husband's level of drinking is making me miserable. I need to know if I am reacting unreasonably.
Sorry this is going to be long ...
As an example, we went out to a friends for dinner last night. I was not drinking because I am pregnant but everyone else was, which was not a problem. I came home at 1am and told my husband that he was beginning to slur his speech so he should probably have a soft drink or two. The door bell then buzzed at 4am and my friend's husband was there with my husband. My husband could only just stand and was incoherent. I managed to get him up to bed in the spare room, despite him collapsing on the stairs half way up. When I mentioned it to him this morning he had no recollection of being walked home or me taking him upstairs.
In the past he has also mistakenly got into bed with my mother (although he does not remember this) and he thinks this is hilarious and great dinner party conversation.
Obviously those were particularly bad nights. In general, he goes out "marketing" with work clients 3 to 4 nights per week. He will usually stay out until at least midnight. Often, he passes out on the sofa in front of the TV or he staggers into the bedroom and passes out, snoring loudly.
If he stays in, then he will usually have a glass of wine. If a bottle of wine is opened he tends to finish it.
I come from a family of fairly heavy drinkers but find this too much. He is often in a bad temper as a result of being overtired from the drinking. He also thinks I am overreacting when I have suggested in the past that he is drinking too much. He keeps saying it is part of his work and everyone he knows drinks as much as he does.
I might be being unreasonable but I find his behaviour embarrassing because he often loses the power of speech when we are out and starts swaying everywhere.
I once suggested that he give up for a week in January (as many of his friends do) but he would not even contemplate it.
About two years ago I left him for a few days after a long episode of heavy drinking. The last straw was when he failed to return home after a night out and turned up at 12pm the next day, just in time for a great friend's wedding at 1pm. He said he was not that drunk he had just missed his train. I had tried calling him on his mobile but there had been no answer. Things improved for a long while but recently everything is going downhill again.
Please help. I need to know whether I am being oversensitive and if not, what can I do? I have two small children plus one on the way to think of as well as myself.
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Is my husband's level of drinking reasonable?
19 replies
manicmama · 19/11/2006 14:15
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