"this pleasant 44 year old"

[ticandtoc]

I've used private doctors twice over the past 10 years, most recently last week - and on both occasions the doctor has sent a letter to my GP starting with "this delightful 34 year old" and "this pleasant 44 year old". It has always struck me as an odd way for a doctor to describe a patient but a friend told me it's kind of a code between doctors just informing them that the patient isn't a pain in the derriere or.... ? Does that make sense? Anyone know if this is true?

Just curious.

[starfishmummy]

I have been described as an elderly primagravida and as a sensible mum.

[mawbroon]

I also don't like the way they use confirmed and denied.

When you are paranoid, as in real paranoia, this stuff can be really upsetting

They wrote in mine that "mawbroon denied hearing voices". It seemed like they didn't believe me and were writing this because they were sure that I was hearing voices but denying it for whatever reason.

I have since learned that using confirmed and denied is commonplace, but when they are sending copies of these reports out to the patients, as they did in my case, it would be helpful if they actually thought a bit more about the language they use and the impact it may have.

[ProfYaffle]

Oh, this is interesting, dh has a long term condition and almost always gets "It was a pleasure to see x in clinic today ...." He also got described as 'sanguine' by his surgeon once which we were surprised by. We can only aspire to 'whimsical' though!

[Deverethemuzzler]

maw I understand that must be upsetting for you.

I have to write lots of reports and I write things like ' {mother's name} thinks that George uses about 10-20 words. I heard him say 2 during my visit.

This could seem that I was saying 'mother is deluded/lying and I know best.

Its really not though. Its because I have to report what I have seen and the answers to the questions I ask.

So the words we use are chosen to reflect what has actually been said and observed during a session rather than our opinions.

Another one is that I will put 'George appeared to be well and happy' because I haven't examined him and he is too young to say 'I am happy!'

Does that make sense?

Believe it or not the way notes are written are a vast improvement on the way they used to be.

[Whatahoohaa]

Maw... You are right it's often stated X denies chest pain and palpitations.... It's just a phrase for X has had no chest pain

Like X secretly has them and doesn't want to let on

Seems bad English to me, but its commonly used and if you hear it enough times it becomes normal

[SockQueen]

It's because they can't actually get inside your body and know that you are not hearing voices/having chest pain, so they are reporting what you report to them. It's about the technical difference between a symptom (which is something the patient describes to you) and a sign (which is something you can observe as an outsider, or find on examination). And "denies x" is shorter than "says he/she does not have x." It does not mean that they think you are lying!

[TheCheckerdyHorse]

I always wear my most expensive jewellery when I have to see a medic. It definitely helps. We also got much better treatment from all the GPs in our practice when one of our dc started attending the extremely expensive, academically successful private school they choose for their own dc. If they can get them in.

[NoglenTilLykke]

I doubt that it is your cash that commands respect!

I was a single parent on benefits (still an SP) & i never had anything but very pleasant obliging gps.

[sashh]

And "denies x" is shorter than "says he/she does not have x." It does not mean that they think you are lying!

It also proves they asked the question.

I have read a fair few medical notes in my time (for work not for fun) and my favorite ever opening is, "You will not thank me for referring this gentleman to you"

[BerylStreep]

I also very much doubt that wearing expensive jewellery or having DC in the same school will make any difference, except that they probably think you are Hyacinth Bucket.

I tend to treat any medically professional I see as, you know, a person who knows what they are doing, and happy to have a reasonable informed discussion with you, on the understanding that they have your best interests at heart.

All lot of the comments on this thread sound like implicit threats - 'I told the Dr all may family were medics / lawyers / journalists / the governor of your DC's school', tbh it all sounds a bit bonkers.

I don't work in medicine, but I am fairly senior in the public sector, and I come across this behaviour all the time. People often tell me what politician or councillor they know personally, and seem to think it will give them preferential treatment. It doesn't. In fact, all it does it makes sure that I will stick rigidly to the rulebook, rather than go out on a limb to try to help someone.

[TheCheckerdyHorse]

Could be the area you live in, Beryl. In some areas, it matters. I can't unfortunately name-drop any surgeons in the family; I come from very humble origins. Sticking to the rulebook would be brilliant, if I can get a professional to do that, then job done. The game is the game.

I doubt if people you meet are seeking preferential treatment. I bet they just want you to take them seriously.

[BerylStreep]

I treat every case I deal with seriously. There do tend to be people with an over-inflated sense of entitlement who think that they should get preferential treatment by making threats or trying to promote their connections. I have had people telling me that they go to the same church as my boss, and that it should somehow make a difference.

It does't work, because I know that I make professional decisions I can stand over no matter who the person is. Inside though, I'll be thinking the person is a twat of the highest order if they think they can influence me in that way.

[BrianTheMole]

'I told the Dr all may family were medics / lawyers / journalists / the governor of your DC's school', tbh it all sounds a bit bonkers.

My mum did this when my dad was dying in hospital. It was embarrassing, but I knew why she said it. She was scared and didn't think they were looking after him properly. Which I don't think they were tbh, but thats another thread.

[TheCheckerdyHorse]

So do you deal with the people you judge to be twats as seriously as those you judge not to be twats? Or do you dismiss the twats and spend as little time on them as possible, and maybe make a few sarky comments about them to colleagues?

[HappydaysArehere]

I too was referred to as "this pleasant lady". So I am not so nice as I thought!

[NoglenTilLykke]

Exactly beryl.

I think gps respect me because i listen to their question and answer the very question i was asked and i dont ramble.

I dont walk i assuming gp needs to be impressed. Walk in expecting a competent professional. That is what i get, even in my dunnes jeans & claire's earrings!

[Catypillar]

Forgot this one- when DS was in hospital with eye problems they wrote across the top of his notes "MOTHER IS AN OLD AGE PSYCHIATRIST." Wasn't sure if this was a warning that I would know fuck all about paediatric ophthalmology or that I might notice if any of the older ophthalmologists were a bit confused...

[Halsall]

When I was in hospital with pyelonephritis years ago, and in an almost delirious state (in a lot of pain), I heard the nurses doing their hand-over from night to day - the woman in the next bed was described as 'a lovely lady' but when it came to me, I was merely 'quite nice'.

Never understood what I'd done wrong but clearly I hadn't come up to the mark somehow...

[TheCheckerdyHorse]

It's clearly important to make the right impression on them. God knows how we're supposed to know how to do that. You would need a rule book for every individual, since their judgement on twattery/niceness/right to good treatment will be individual.

[Tinymrscollings]

Oh no. I had 'youngmastercollings' mother is very well informed on the treatment of childhood epilepsy'. I'm an insufferable know-all then..

[wigglybeezer]

Look, I am feeling a bit defensive about reactions to me telling doctors that some of my family are doctors, I probably should have worded it more carefully.

I definitely do not mention it in a threatening manner, it's usually part of the slightly nervous chat I end up doing while procedures are going on or such like. For example, I told DS2's consultant that my granny had trained in the hospital we were in in the 1930's, and we had a short chat about how it had developed since then, it's more about me searching for a common link with the people I am dealing with, and letting them know I have family support to understand and deal with diagnoses and information, I prefer to be told all the gory details. I don't think he was worried I would dig my granny up to check on his DX. If you knew me you would realise that I am about as far from Hyacinth bouquet as you could get and hate confrontation.

[TheCheckerdyHorse]

Ditto to the first part of your last sentence, Wiggly. But there you go: assumptions have been made, based on very little information and a great deal of misunderstanding.

[wigglybeezer]

I also have to deal with questioning from medical grandparents about their poorly grandchildren ( they seem to worry more about them more than they did about their own children!), thus leading to me having to ask questions that I may not have asked myself, I am always polite about this but it can be a bit awkward.

When your child is seriously ill you get beyond worrying about how you are coming across and will say anything to get the information you feel you need at the time.

[wigglybeezer]

Checkered, glad somebody gets my point, feel I can let this thread go now, I hate being misunderstood!