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Anybody around for some hand holding. Getting biopsy results tomorrow and getting myself in a state now.

38 replies

NonnaMai · 30/07/2013 22:32

I've already been told its cancer the biopsy was for conformation. I can't stop crying, my chest hurts and I can't breathe. I'm so scared,

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Childcareisscary · 06/08/2013 23:51

Goodluck. Thinking of you.

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Conina · 06/08/2013 23:45

I used to get very annoyed with all the 'my aunties next door neighbours cousin worked with a bloke who had that an it was absolutely awwwful' comments from people. I know they were trying to empathise but it sometimes felt ghoulish as if there was a slight pleasure in scaring the bejesus out of us. On the end, we started to briskly cut off any story that wasn't inspiring enough for us Smile

You're no longer just drifting in the current Nonna. Your little boat has survived the stormy uncertainty and you're now rowing to a wee island, as it were. What there is on the island, you don't know yet but at least you've somewhere to aim for, if that makes any sense. Ok - very woo - but my mum said she felt like she had been cut adrift from everyone and felt so alone and this extended metaphor grew from that. Sea sickness, clouds on the horizon - it was somehow easier to explain her fears within the sailing analogy. Now it's written down it does seem very stupid but maybe you could pop Sidney in the boat and cast him away? Grin

Hope you're sleeping better and managing to enjoy school holidays in between everything x

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digerd · 04/08/2013 07:45

That last neighbour was very tactless and thoughtless. She was very unlucky, but it might not have been a secondary. I have never heard of that happening.
I had CIS which is now called CIN3 30 years ago but had not got to the spreading stage - they can tell that from the biopsy analysis.
I had the cone biopsy in which they took out the rim of the cervix and more above.
Good luck with all your further tests < and do take your pills to help you sleep>

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NonnaMai · 03/08/2013 23:58

Hey conina you are so kind. It's so much easier now I've gone public. I'm still have tests to confirm staging so do have moments of panic but what will be will be.
One of my lovely neighbours popped by last night with flowers, chocs and a card for me. Another neighbour came by as we were chatting and saw the flowers. I explained why I had them and she then spent half an hour telling me of her cancer experience. She had cervical cancer removed by surgery. She claims doctors should have followed up with radiotherapy because if they had they would have cured her secondary Bowell cancer. As they didn't she had her arse stitched up and now shits and farts in a bag (her words). [Grin] She scared the living day lights out of me which resulted in a sleepless night and me sobbing on DHs shoulder when he got in from work this morning. But I'm ok now.

I'm spent the last few nights trying to sleep without the help of pills but not doing so good.

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Conina · 03/08/2013 14:23

Hi Nonna - I hope you kick Sidney's arse swiftly Grin

Just spent ages on my not very smart phone trying to track you down from your earlier thread - I've been thinking about you and hoping you're all right... I hope now there's something happening with actual facts and solutions, that its not as paralysing as the limbo of a couple of weeks ago. Flowers

I hope everything goes well x

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pepperquip · 01/08/2013 08:47

I saw your thread and wanted to send my support too. I hope someone who has been through a similar experience will be along soon to give some helpful, positive and practical advice.
I just wanted to send my love and good wishes to you and your family.
It looks like now you have seen your consultant, they are on top of things and are going to get Sidney sorted really speedily.
Lots of love xx

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ChimeForChange · 31/07/2013 23:33

So glad you're feeling better today nonna.

I wish you a happy and healthy future xx

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Icantstopeatinglol · 31/07/2013 23:29

Still hand holding!......glad you're feeling more positive today. Sydney sounds like a total pushover! I'm sure with help from your family you'll totally kick Sydney's butt! Grin

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kissmyheathenass · 31/07/2013 20:34

Hi Nonna, I was just checking in to see how it went today. I am so glad you are feeling more positive and you have support from the specialist nurse. Wishing you all the best in kicking Sydney's ass!

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mummylin2495 · 31/07/2013 17:24

Wishing you all the best in your forthcoming treatment. So sorry this is happening .

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HighJinx · 31/07/2013 17:10

Just saw your thread and I'm glad you are feeling calmer and have a lovely nurse specialist to support you.

Grin at kicking Sidney's big fat bum out of you. Go Team Nonna.

Sending you positive vibes x

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malteserzz · 31/07/2013 16:58

I'm glad you feel a bit calmer now at least there is a plan and good that you don't have too long to wait for the next bit
Don't forget were all on the tamoxifen thread if you need us Smile

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NonnaMai · 31/07/2013 16:23

Hello everyone. Feeling much calmer today. It is cancer. A 1 b1 as far as they can tell from the information they have. I had a chest x ray today. I'm booked in for a MRI on Tuesday and then back to see the consultant on Friday for the results. I will then get a date very soon for a day procedure under GA where it seems they will stick tubes in every orifice I have to check for signs of any other growths.

I've already been introduced to my lovely cancer nurse specialist. She was very annoyed that the consultant I saw two weeks ago told me it was cancer but didnt give me her card so I had someone to talk to.

So all in all the news is as good as it can be. Until I have had all the tests to check for spreading I know I will still have worries but I'm feeling very positive.

My treatment is likely to be a radical hysterectomy quite soon.

Thank you so much for the hand holding. When we left the hospital dh and I popped into Tesco and bought a huge selection of cream cakes. We came home and used them as a diversionary tactic whilst we told the dc what was going on. They all took it well and asked lots of questions which luckily we could answer. They have decided they don't like the word cancer. For now I have Sidney (apologies to any lovely Sidneys out there) living in me, but as a family we are going to kick Sidney's big fat bum out of me (DDs words) Grin

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JacqueslePeacock · 31/07/2013 14:58

How did it go today? Really hope you're OK. Thinking of you.

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malteserzz · 31/07/2013 14:47

Hope you're ok nonna x

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minmooch · 31/07/2013 13:15

How are you doing Nonna?

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HerculePoirotsTache · 31/07/2013 07:51

Hopefully you have had some sleep by now. Good luck today, Nonna, stay strong.

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kissmyheathenass · 30/07/2013 23:55

I hope you sleep well. There is always someone here if you can't. X

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NonnaMai · 30/07/2013 23:54

Oops said that twice sorry

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NonnaMai · 30/07/2013 23:53

Well I've just spent 20 minutes comforting DS 13 who has just discovered his pet gecko dead. Isn't it amazing how our children's sadness always trumps our own. DS doesn't realise he did me a favour and gave me something else to think about.

Have tucked him into bed and I can feel the sleeping pills kicking in.

Thank you for the hand holding I will try and sleep and hope tomorrow brings a good news for all those facing results.

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NonnaMai · 30/07/2013 23:50

Well I've just spent 20 minutes comforting DS 13 who has just discovered his pet gecko dead. Isn't it amazing how our children's sadness always trumps our own. DS doesn't realise he did me a favour and gave me something else to think about.

Have tucked him into bed and I can feel the sleeping pills kicking in.

Thank you for the hand holding I will try and sleep and hope tomorrow brings a good news for all those facing results.

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minmooch · 30/07/2013 23:48

This is the worst bit - waiting for proper diagnosis and waiting for a treatment plan to be put in place and started. It's the unknown that is very hard to cope with and when you have more information you will find a way if getting through.

Keep strong xx

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kissmyheathenass · 30/07/2013 23:41

Please don't feel guilty or embarrassed, everyone must go through these emotions. I cant begin to imagine how terrifying this is for you but there are plenty of survivors on here who have trod this path.

I hope you get more information and some reassurances tomorrow that it is treatable. Can your dh have a list of questions in case you forget to ask something?

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MrsApplepants · 30/07/2013 23:41

Thinking of you. Sending love xx

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Icantstopeatinglol · 30/07/2013 23:22

Nonna I'm sure most people have the same reaction you're having but like yourself don't show it in real life. My best friends husband is going through a similar experience and I know they have moments of despair along trying to stay positive and fighting it. Noone can stay brave all of the time and you have to let your emotions out.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and have everything crossed its positive news!

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