How to handle neighbours opinion on my garden

[Turnipinatutu]

We have a lovely, large new garden, which is pretty much a blank canvas and we can't wait to get out there!

The problem we have, is the neighbour.....she is very nice and friendly, but doesn't want us to cut down any trees or hedges along her boundary.
The garden needs totally re fencing, as we have animals. Ourselves and both neighbours also have dogs.

We would like to fence the top half of the garden, near the house, with normal panels and stock fence the rest, which is vast. Then grow a natural mixed hedge.
This she is happy with, but she doesn't want us to remove any existing hedges, that include lleylandi (which we can't stand) She'd like us to push the fence up against the hedges and leave them.

I know we're entitled to do as we wish with our own boundary, but I don't want to cause a big battle with an otherwise pleasant neighbour.
I also feel very strongly that we should start as we mean to go on and establish our boundaries....

Don't really know what I'm asking, but it's really playing on my mind and not sure how to handle her.

[trufflehunterthebadger]

oh and my Mum cried when it was removed. They had a colony of blue tits that lived in the first tree, they won't be there this spring :( My Mum loves watching the birds and she is very upset that she won't be able to watch the birds coming and going from the tree from her kitchen window.

I can't understand why anyone would want to tear out perfectly good trees and replace them with hideous fencing. And people wonder why their gardens flood with their bloody hideous decking, shitty pebbley areas, wood chip and fences.

[PigletJohn]

I wonder how many people like a conifer hedge when it blots sun from their own garden and prevents anything growing under it.

[EauRouge]

The OP did say she was going to put in a natural mixed hedge, which will be much better for birds than leylandii.

[Quinteszilla]

Ah, in our previous rented property the leylandi hedge was twice as tall as the house almost. The garden was in permanent shade, and the lawn was never really drying out. It also took 1.5 meter from the garden as it was wide. (and full of beer bottles and other rubbish that passers-bys' threw in)

I hope the leylandi hedge your neighbour loves so much is going to eventually block her sun, and not yours.

We recently had to pay £90 (mates rates) to have ONE leylandii removed from the front garden. We stupidly planted it in the corner where the hedges did not meet properly, at the front. 6 years later our neighbour had no sun in their front garden, and no daylight in their living room.

[Mirage]

Leylandii hedges are not native and you will attract far more wildlife with natural hedging,plus I've never heard of grass snakes sunbathing on any sort of hedge.

Agree about the bamboo,why on earth is someone so keen on nature introducing such a thug into her [and your] garden? Normal weedkiller won't touch it,you will need Roundup Biactive,1 part Roundup to 3 parts water,to kill it.However it may kill her bit too.

I run a gardening business,and if you'd like to put some 'advice' in writing,so you can show her and 'blame' me,I'm happy to do so.

[HansieMom]

I have heard that chickens will eat off bamboo shoots. Can you have chickens?

I planted a running bamboo as I naively thought boulders around my pond would hold it in. It went under the boulders and out onto the lawn. It was like a foot underground. It would pop up in the lawn a couple feet away.

[Turnipinatutu]

Trufflehunter - As someone has already said, we ARE replacing the 'brick wall hedge that nothing will grow near or nest in' with a native mixed hedge! The fence we put up will be a wire stock fence that will disappear into the hedge once it becomes established. So no 'perfectly good trees' are being removed, only crappy looking, potential monster trees!

HansieMom - We already have ducks. If I get any more animals DH might leave home

Mirage - Will the weed killer actually work? I've heard that it's a bugger to kill. She doesn't seem to like anything being removed, cut back or kept under control. As a result, her garden's like a cavernous jungle....which is of course her choice, but shouldn't be imposed on everyone around her.

[Mirage]

Roundup Biactive will definitely work,I've eradicated Japanese Knotweed with it 3 times and if it can kill that,it'll kill anything.It is a systemic herbicide which the plant takes down to the roots,so is very effective.Normal off the shelf weed killers are not strong enough.Spray the bamboo and it'll die back,depending how rampant it is,it may come up again,but weaker.Just repeat until it gives up.

You may need to go to an agricultural supplies store to buy it,and be careful where you spray it as it will kill everything it touches,but because it contains glyphosate,it is considered organic by the Soil Association and won't harm pets or children.

If the bamboo on your neighbour's side starts to die too,and she comments to you,suck your teeth and say that it looks like 'bamboo blight',what a shame.

[kilmuir]

I think you should do what you like with your garden. Give in to her now and it will continue for years.
Cheeky mare thinking she has any input

[Swanhildapirouetting]

Tbh, most people with "established" gardens get very tense when incomers try to improve, and very tense about removing existing screening. Our new neighbours insisted on us removing an old fence and digging up all the ivy which we quite liked as a winter screen on our side (we had a north side, they had a south) We felt cross at all the disruption, and at the implication that what we had lived with for 10 years wasn't good enough forthem. HOWEVER, it now looks vastly better and we are very grateful to them for organising it We paid half btw.

Be brave, keep talking about wild life plants on your side, stay strong, and she will accept the changes eventually. Be incredibly tactful and respectful though and I would not mention the BAMBOO, ever, just put a big piece of corrugated iron as a barrier Keep asking her advice over little things, swop cuttings, seedlings, and mremeber she might possibly know more than you in some areas!! It often takes time for people to accept changes and new ideas.

[Turnipinatutu]

Thank you Swan, I think that's good advise.
I don't wish to upset, or alienate her, or ruin her garden. But I do want our garden to be the way WE want it.
We are just going to have to tread carefully around her to try and keep the peace, as well as being firm and standing our ground on the things that are important to us.

[OddFodd]

Ask her about soil and what grows well. Try not to guffaw when she says bamboo :o

[2Kids2Cats1Dog]

I am also with your neighbour. A wildlife garden is something that should be encouraged. Leylandi are easy to maintain if you keep them at 5 or so feet. I have a few that had been left to grow out of control before I moved in. They were cut down to 6 foot and only need 2 cuts a year.

I would much rather see an untidy hedge than a boring fence. I reckon you should fence on your side of the hedge and leave the hedge to her. With the condition that if she does not maintain it at 6 foot you will do so yourself.

[PigletJohn]

The neighbour doesn't get to decide what happens in someone else's garden. You might think she's right or you might think she's wrong, but it isn't her choice.

[EauRouge]

"We would like to fence the top half of the garden, near the house, with normal panels and stock fence the rest, which is vast. THEN GROW A NATURAL MIXED HEDGE. "

So, no boring fence and better for wildlife than leylandii.

[OddFodd]

It's quite remarkable how many people on MN feel qualified to offer an opinion without having actually read the OP

[mistlethrush]

The first thing I would work out is actually where the boundary line lies - and ideally agree that with her. Then she won't be able to claim the leylandii as hers.

If you get a move on you could plant a native hedge in the next few weeks - as long as you were prepared to water it in the summer if there's a drought.

[MrsCosmopilite]

Leylandii are horrible, and support little biodiversity. A natural mixed hedge will be great!

My garden is untidy and my neighbours have passed comment to that effect but..
a) Anything growing over the fence/under the fence (into their garden/airspace) they can cut, or I go over and cut down.
b) I have grass snakes, common lizards, bees, butterflies, frogs, toads, blackbirds, thrushes, blue/great/long-tailed tits, chaffinches, greenfinches, hedgehogs and a multitude of beetles in my garden. They have the occasional pigeon.

I think you're right to be tactful in your approach, and offer the neighbour 'choices' where they don't really matter. However, it is your garden and you can, realistically, do what you want.

[BetterWithCheese]

OddFodd I often think other people are reading and responding to a different thread than me. It does show how many conflicts in day-to-day life are probably a result of people filling in the blanks with their own shit.

OP - could you show your neighbour a picture of what the hedge is likely to look like? This might settle her nerves somewhat as she may be finding it hard to imagine what it will look like.

[Damnautocorrect]

www.telegraph.co.uk/gardening/10686311/Gardeners-with-Rhododendrons-could-be-criminalised-by-new-EU-law.html

www.wigglywigglers.co.uk/native-plants/native-hedging.html

People don't like change! Can't offer any advise but these links, I'm jealous and enjoy your garden. Sounds like your changes will be for the better for you and the wildlife

[EauRouge]

Have a look on the RSPB website, there's bound to be a page about gardening and then you can show her how the changes will benefit wildlife.

[gobbin]

We (and our neighbours) have done what you are planning to do - neighbour over the back took out a large run of conifer hedging (yee ha!) and fenced it.

We then replaced the left side fence with new fencing by agreement with that neighbour and replaced the old fence on the right with native hedging (mix of beech, blackthorn, hazel, dog rose, guelder rose, weigela, crab apple).

It does mean that it looks like one big garden at the mo where the little hedge plants are (about 1m high at mo and all spindly and bare) but we cannot wait for the hedge to grow. Very glad we did it and the hedging wasn't expensive. Plants came from here. www.hedgesdirect.co.uk

[Turnipinatutu]

Thanks for the comments and Damnautocorrect for the links.

We're planning for the bottom of the garden to be very much a wild garden. As well as the the native hedging, we'd like to plant more fruit trees and let the grass grow long, with mown pathways.
I do feel that she should, given her views, be in favour of our proposed changes. But as others have said, it's clearly the change she's resistant to.

[Turnipinatutu]

Thanks gobbin. Useful link.

Does anyone know how long it should take the twigs to start to look hedge like? And is there anything that'll encourage them, apart from watering?

[mistlethrush]

Natural hedges can grow 1' plus a year... I would make sure that they've had some appropriate feed - although the digging to plant the hedge should itself release nutrients that will help anyway. I wouldn't put in dog rose due to the thorns. I wouldn't put in weigela either - I would put in hawthorn and spindle instead.