We are kinship carers fostering my niece and nephew.
We have noticed over the last few months money going missing. At first small amounts but recently my daughters birthday money and my adult sons money. We began to suspect this was being taken.
We were then informed that nephew, age 13, had been caught buying vapes in school and when his bag was checked he had a large sum of money on him, over £100. When questioned he admits stealing it. He has gone into bedrooms where he is not allowed to enter and searched to find this money. His response was he can do what he wants and we can’t stop him etc.
He is right. We don’t know how we can stop this. My daughter (10) is devastated to learn her cousin has been stealing from her and it’s really affected the household.
I understand this is related to his past and the trauma he has experienced but equally he needs to learn to stop. It’s impossible to watch him at all times as we both work and as we have discovered moving money into areas he isn’t supposed to access doesn’t work either.
Any advice?
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.
Fostering
How to handle stealing
Madwife123 · 12/05/2023 23:34
Madwife123 · 13/05/2023 10:25
He goes to counselling and had recently been discharged as “made excellent progress”.
It’s going to have to be an enormous safe! He has stolen perfumes, jewellery, a watch, phone chargers.
He has his own HyperJar account and pocket money. He can also earn extra if he wants. There is around £60 in that account that he hasn’t used yet. This isn’t because he needs / wants more money.
I am going to speak to social care on Monday. Will they pay back what he has taken? My daughter’s birthday money has been taken and I can’t afford to give it her back without borrowing money as we are barely making ends meet right now and seriously considering having to sell the house due to this.
My partner left a good job to take these children on. We have been scrimping by ever since and my own child has given up so much but we wanted to help them. As kinship carers we are treated like the bottom of the barrel. Limited support, almost no training and less allowance. I worry this is the final straw now.
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