My husband and I have had 2 foster children in our care for several months. Things are now progressing with regard to getting a care order etc and they are likely to move on to long term foster care soon.
They are our first placement. We made the decision before going in for fostering that we would be short term foster carers; at least for now. I have known all along that these children wouldn't stay with us.
It would be very easy to keep them; they are lovely, have no major behavioural issues, have really settled with us etc. But we have a small house, they share a room as it is and if we were to keep them that would be it; they would be our children until 18 at the youngest, and by that time we would be mid forties and I don't know if I would want to start again with other children then. I feel that we have done very well getting these children settled and over some issues, and I think we could, and should, do that for more children. We are only just starting as foster carers and, as much as I love these children and want to stay in touch with them, I don't feel ready for us to settle on raising just these two children for the next several years. Plus, as I said, they share a room, we have no garden, we're not near the best primary schools - so I think it might be better for them to grow up somewhere else.
But, I feel so guilty! Plus, everyone I tell that the children are likely to be moving on soon says, 'can't you be long term foster carers for them?' and I have to explain that, while we would be allowed, we have decided not to do that. And I feel like such a bitch! My own mother said the other day, 'I don't know how you can give them up!'
Has anybody else had any experience of moving children on and having to justify it to everyone around them?
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Feeling very guilty for not 'keeping' my foster children
9 replies
Kitsandkids · 20/01/2015 12:12
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