Is anyone else with a six-month-old...

[bakedpotato]

about to start weaning?

[Janbo25]

i agree 100% many thanks

[KiwiKate]

Hi Janbo, thanks for your positive response.

I think that as with so many parenting issues there is no wrong or right way, but rather a way that works (or does not work) for you and your family.

The biggest learning curve for me as a parent has been learning to trust my instincts. Of course, we have to be careful not to put our children in harms way, and we need to seek expert advice when appropriate. But on many issues we are best placed to make the call because we know ourselves and our chidren the best.

[Janbo25]

thanks for that kiwikate it's reassured me a lot I thought I was doing it all wrong!

[KiwiKate]

Hunkermama - my ds loved feeding himself with a spoon and a baby fork at a very early age. Absence of finger foods did not make him a less independant feeder. So your comments on hand-eye-mouth co-ordination could apply equally to foods other than finger food (Although I agree with Aloha - ds has good fine motor skills, and I think that is just part of his make-up and also the types of play activities that he has enjoyed from a very young age - like unscrewing bottle tops at 7 months old, and screwing them back on at 8 months!)

Personally, I think a relaxed approach to weaning helps children enjoy their food. Ds did not like finger food, so irrespective of what UNICEF or anyone else says, I see no point in forcing that. Of course, now he is in his 2s he loves grazing on finger food (as well as eating "proper" food). Also, my friends kids filled up on rice cakes or bread, whereas my ds couldn't get enough fruit or veg. I was very glad that he preferred the more nutritious stuff.

[alison222]

Well yet again very little lunch eaten. Then I went to a friends for lunch with all children in tow, and she sat on my lap and played with potato on my plate and sucked at a lettuce leaf. I think she is interested in playing with it more. Mind you then she tried to eat my finger an I felt another tooth just coming through so perhaps this is the problem?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Well, if she's tried rice cakes, maybe she's ok with you offering them?

Finger foods do get licked and played with initially. It's not like babies know what to do with food.

[Janbo25]

I think that was what the problem was with my ds they got all sticky and therefore instead of swallowing he stored them in his mouth!!!

[alison222]

I know the one thing mum did try was rice cakes. I here it got sucked and sticky roather than eaten, which was my experience as a recall of what happens to them. I know she is ultra nervous, and forllowing Gina Ford religiously - (but at a later age obviously. That however, is another discussion entirely.

[Janbo25]

i think half the problem is ds just literally sticks everything in and down his throat!!

[NotQuiteCockney]

Oh dear, that does sound scary. I thought rice cakes were one of the safest foods, as they generally break down into lots of little bits ...

[Janbo25]

no he actually stopped breathing!!! very very scary we did obviously manage to get it up but that was after my ds went the colour of a beetroot!

[NotQuiteCockney]

Really, he choked? Stopped breathing? Or just gagged?

It'd be hard for a rice cake to really block the airways, I thought ...

[Janbo25]

my ds did choke on a rice cake though just the other day!

[NotQuiteCockney]

If she's just gagging, not choking, and it's not upsetting her, finger foods or lumpier foods might be a hit.

The thing is, with a bottle, she controls how much goes in, how fast. With a spoon, someone else is doing it, which has got to be annoying.

If it helps in convincing the mum:
a) The UNICEF baby-friendly weaning method is just finger foods.
b) They do sell rice cakes as finger food for tinies. No choking risk. And they're just rice, nothing gross.

[alison222]

Read the end of this with interest. I have suggested finger foods to Girl's mum, but she seems nervous at trying. I suspect its because girl gags quite easily on the slightest lump in the purees at the moment. Mind you she doesn't like it and cries when you try to feed her so suspect she may not actually be ready - or hates purees.
Dad reported she had one mouthful of lunch today and then clamped her mouth shut before she got to me.
She is also tiny, and always desperate for her milk so perhaps unlike my chidren just isn't ready yet?

[Janbo25]

I also feel that motor skills are gained naturally through every day play as well rather than then just self feeding

[Pollyanna]

i agree with Aloha - I have 4 children, including a dyspraxic son, and have introduced solids in the same way for all of them (finger foods from 6 months, feeding themselves from the start), and they all still vary in their ability to feed themselves, and be tidy. (dd1 aged 4 is much tidier and more skilful at using cutlery than ds aged 6). I don't think their ability to feed themselves is much to do with my skills as a parent tbh.

I would say that I have waited until 6 months to feed dd3, and thought I would start straight away on finger food, and she didn't have a clue! So I have done purees for the first couple of weeks and have now reintroduced finger foods (alongside purees) and she now seems to know what to do.

[NotQuiteCockney]

DS2 has good fine motor control, which might be (partially) down to his practice at self-feeding, but he's certainly not a tidy eater. If he's eating something he likes ok, and is provided with something he likes better, he spits out the partly chewed first food, to grab the second. I think he sometimes accidentally spits out food, too.

It certainly is about a million times easier, though. If you're ok about mess, self-feeding is just so so so much less work than all that pureeing. I don't take food for DS2 when we go out, he just eats what I eat. We're off on holiday next month, he will be 10-11 months for the trip, and he will eat ... what I eat.

[hunkermunker]

Oh, bloody hell, Aloha - I thought I was genius mum too

[aloha]

Maybe, but to be honest, watching dd just 'get' how to move, how to push herself up and roll over - all the things ds just didn't 'get' makes me realise how much of a child's abilities (esp physical abilities) are simply innate, simply 'the way they are' and not down to our wonderful parenting
I'd love to say that dd was so advanced and lively because of something I've done, but really, it isn't at all.
I think you have brilliantly followed your child's abilities and used them to their full extent in encouraging him to feed himself, but if he was like ds, I suspect your system would not have been quite so successful, and certainly would be much less 'tidy'

[hunkermunker]

I didn't want to make anyone whose child didn't self-feed tidily feel bad either - DS is an incredibly tidy child who will eg play in a ballpit, then put the balls he's knocked out of it back when he's finished

[hunkermunker]

Fair enough, Aloha - but I do think that because he has a lot of practise with hand-eye(-mouth?!) coordination (with a very tangible end product result - ie a mouthful of food!), that has to affect it to a degree, don't you think?

[aloha]

Hunkermunker, on the whole I agree with the way you are weaning your child and would love to do something similar with dd...however, I have to say, please, please be careful about attributing your child's skills to your behaviour. It's slightly more likely, IMO, that your child wonderful fine motor skills are why you are managing to wean him on finger food, not the other way round. I say that as the mother of a dyspraxic son who has quite poor gross motor skills and is a frighteningly messy eater, and it's not because I still sometimes spoon feed him, and lift him. I lift him and sometimes spoon feed him because his motor skills are poor.
I've learned a lot about taking credit for your child's abilities from having a son with dyspraxia and a daughter who is only five months old but who clearly doesn't have it. I no more made dd 'advanced' than I created ds's problems.

[hunkermunker]

Finger food is the first stage in being able to feed yourself. I don't understand why everyone's so keen to start spooning food into their child - why not let them do more for themselves?

DS has had finger food from the word go and has constantly amazed people with his ability to self-feed. His fine motor skills are very advanced and I think this is in no small part due to the fact that he's always fed himself a large proportion of the food he eats. He's a very tidy eater too - eats the smallest crumbs with great gusto which makes me laugh!

Alison, a 7-month-old may very well not be that bothered about food - certainly doesn't need it for nutrients at that age if she's settled and happy with milk.

try her with some finger food

[Janbo25]

I wouldn't say my ds takes his food happily now unless its banana everything else he is not happy about